Construction 101 by Cassidy Shay (recommended books to read TXT) đź“•
Excerpt from the book:
This book will be a combination of my poems and short stories. It'll be all my memoirs. It'll be how I became who I am today. My construction.
And you might have noticed how I put this under the "adventure" category. That's not because my life is super exciting. But it's because LIFE is an adventure. :)
And you might have noticed how I put this under the "adventure" category. That's not because my life is super exciting. But it's because LIFE is an adventure. :)
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- Author: Cassidy Shay
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of Makayla. I told her that Makayla’s a bad influence on her. “I know I can’t control who you hang out with. But saying that Makayla is a much better friend than I am doesn’t reflect too well on your judgment of people.”
And that was it. She blocked me.
I didn’t cry. I didn’t even really feel hurt. I’d grown so used to it by then. Rosa had a nasty habit of doing whatever she wanted, then coming back to me once she crashes. I figured all I had to do was wait for the crash.
When I first met Rosa, it was softball season. My sister had practice on the same day that her sister did. We were both sitting on the bleachers, and we started talking. That day, talking to this girl, I never expected that we’d become the type of friends that we became.
Rosa’s family, including her extended family, became my family. And my entire family became hers. We went to Boise together, spent many nights in hotel rooms, talking until 4 AM. Many hours at the mall, too many phone calls to count.
But once we did become friends, I never thought it would end.
My mom, though, had different ideas about the whole thing. My mom saw the good parts of our friendship, but also the bad. She saw me clinging to a relationship that had really ended a long time ago, that was only going to hurt me more and more. “It hurts, seeing you do that to yourself,” she told me. “It hurts me to see you trust her all the time, over and over again, when you have no reason to.” But I ignored her. I was so sure that things would work out, that Rosa would remember our friendship, the good and the bad, and talk to me again.
It took a while for me to accept the fact that Rosa wasn’t going to come back, that this time was different. When I realized that, I studied my face in the mirror.
I don’t see my brown hair or my blue eyes. I see a weak smile, desperately trying to hide the pain. But in my eyes, I saw everything. I saw Jotman, Juan, Makayla. I saw late-night conversations, thousands of hugs. I saw four years of my life, down the drain. Thrown out, forgotten.
I didn’t see me. I didn’t see the strong person that I had been before all this. When I look in the mirror, I see the weak, fractured person that she created.
Imprint
And that was it. She blocked me.
I didn’t cry. I didn’t even really feel hurt. I’d grown so used to it by then. Rosa had a nasty habit of doing whatever she wanted, then coming back to me once she crashes. I figured all I had to do was wait for the crash.
When I first met Rosa, it was softball season. My sister had practice on the same day that her sister did. We were both sitting on the bleachers, and we started talking. That day, talking to this girl, I never expected that we’d become the type of friends that we became.
Rosa’s family, including her extended family, became my family. And my entire family became hers. We went to Boise together, spent many nights in hotel rooms, talking until 4 AM. Many hours at the mall, too many phone calls to count.
But once we did become friends, I never thought it would end.
My mom, though, had different ideas about the whole thing. My mom saw the good parts of our friendship, but also the bad. She saw me clinging to a relationship that had really ended a long time ago, that was only going to hurt me more and more. “It hurts, seeing you do that to yourself,” she told me. “It hurts me to see you trust her all the time, over and over again, when you have no reason to.” But I ignored her. I was so sure that things would work out, that Rosa would remember our friendship, the good and the bad, and talk to me again.
It took a while for me to accept the fact that Rosa wasn’t going to come back, that this time was different. When I realized that, I studied my face in the mirror.
I don’t see my brown hair or my blue eyes. I see a weak smile, desperately trying to hide the pain. But in my eyes, I saw everything. I saw Jotman, Juan, Makayla. I saw late-night conversations, thousands of hugs. I saw four years of my life, down the drain. Thrown out, forgotten.
I didn’t see me. I didn’t see the strong person that I had been before all this. When I look in the mirror, I see the weak, fractured person that she created.
Imprint
Text: Cassie Hoene
Publication Date: 05-08-2012
All Rights Reserved
Dedication:
I'm going to go ahead and dedicate this to everyone. Everyone who's made a difference in my life (whether good or bad). Without you guys, I wouldn't be who I am.
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