On the Run by M Zeigler (online e reader txt) 📕

“Barrette, I’m gonna go for a walk. I think you should explain this.” I say as I move away from him, Barrette is on his feet a mere second after I move.

 “Bonnie, run?” He replies with warning putting his arm out to point towards the drive way. “Why?” I ask, the top front porch step creaks causing me to look in that direction. Barrette’s mother is looking at her crushed flowers angrily. “Those are June’s flowers for the fair.” Heather says fearfully, my eyes widen, I know how small town farmers about their competition plants. Needing  no further warning I turn tail and run heading straight for the corn field across the street and back behind the Grocery mart.

“Wow, she’s just like you, Barrette! Runs straight for the corn field!” I hear Montgomery say with a booming laugh. once I’m inside the corn rows I glance back to see if June is chasing me, she isn’t, in fact she is yelling at Barrette and pointing in my direction. Feeling a little bit sad that I am slowly destroying Barrette’s life I turn and walk deeper into the corn field, heading towards the forest that edges the field to my left.

As I run through the corn field I can sense that cold looming creature again, at this point I could care less because I am looking for my grandmother. I know she can hear me, I know she is watching my every move!

 “Bonnie! Bonnie you wretch where are you?” I scream out as soon as I’m deep enough into the trees that no one can hear me. “Bonnie!” I scream louder hoping that somehow someway she can hear me and will come down here. When all I get is the rustling leaves from the Georgia tree’s I start screaming as loud as my vocal chords can go. “Bonnie get your ghostly butt down here and talk to me!” I shriek once again spinning in circles looking for any signs that she is here.

“Good lord, I bet Clyde can hear you yelling all the way in hell.” I hear my grandmother’s voice ahead of me, focusing my tear blurred vision I see her standing in a sun beam breaking through the trees. Her arms are crossed and she’s wearing a pale yellow floral patterned sun dress. Today her hair is down making her look like a more normal version of myself. “What do I do? You keep telling me not to trust him-

“I never said don’t waste your time on him, I said he’s nothing but trouble.” My double interrupts. “You didn’t say he was nothing but trouble! What does that even mean anyways?! Do you hear yourself?! This isn’t a stupid movie, Bonnie! You are not an actress and you never will be! Just tell me what you are talking about!” I scream then pitch a rock at her, she dodges it easily but it still makes contact with something or someone perhaps. I couldn’t even begin to distinguish reality versus conjuring from a mental break down.

“I am offended, my name is legendary thank you very much.” Bonnie says to me as she walks forward with a guarded stance waiting for me to throw something else at her. “What are you talking about?” I growl at her ready to attack if she gives me another twisted and warped fortune with no meaning. “Clyde Barrow is not worth your time, but he can be trusted.” Bonnie says again, in a fit of rage I leap forward ready to rip her ghostly throat clean out.

“Your insane!” I shriek as my form closes in on her’s, at the last possible second I realize I’m attacking a ghost and will go right through her into the mud. Compromising my shock and horror I slam into a solid human form, this body is much too large and strong to be my Grandmother. I shove away from whoever I just tackled and start throwing rocks at anything that so much as moves wrong. “Get back here! Damn it Bonnie get back here and answer me!” I scream, I bend down to pick up a rather large chunk of wood only to have someone smack the tree limb from my hand and pin me to the nearest tree trunk.

“Bonnie that is enough!” Barrette’s voice breaks through to my sanity, or perhaps lack thereof. He has his full weight pinning me to the tree trunk, and I’m far to crazed right now to fight him off. I’m sure if I wanted to I could easily make him move.

“Bonnie! What is going on?” I hear Barrette ask urgently and very loudly as I try and squirm away by thrashing around. “Bonnie!” Barrette shouts again finally breaking me out of this mental break down.

“I don’t know!” I cry out hanging my head low, at this point I feel entirely pitiful hanging, pinned at the wrists, to a tree in the middle of the Georgia woods screaming at what may or may not have been my dead grandmother whom I’ve never met. “Who were you yelling at?” Barrette tries a different approach looking around the area for someone but still not daring to release the hold he has over me. “It doesn’t matter, let me down.” I growl back at him thinking that maybe if I have an attitude he’ll get mad and go away.

“No. Not until you tell me who you were yelling at.” Barrette challenges. “My grandmother okay, that’s why I woke up screaming back at the cabin. I’m losing my mind again and if I lose it this time I’m not coming back!” I shout back at him trying desperately not to cry, finally he releases my wrists allowing me to drop to the ground. He knows I’m about to burst into tears and is waiting for me to do so, I hate him for that.

“Bonnie-

“Drop it, Barrette.” I interrupt with a hateful voice as I start walking back in the direction of the house. “We need to talk.” Barrette calls after me, I turn back around looking up the slope to where he stands. “About what? There’s nothing to discuss, I’m going to do you and your family a favor and go after Devon alone. If it’s a fight he wants then it’s a fight he gets, I have no reason to live anyways, so I’ll take him out with me.” I say without a single drop of emotion left in me.

“Are you kidding? We’ve made it this far. What would your grandfather say if he heard you talking about being a suicide bomber?” Barrette challenges walking down the ridge after me, the familiar taste of rage boils back up worse than it did moments ago as I double back on Barrette taking a swing at him. He easily dodges my fist and jumps back away from me.

“How dare you! You don’t know a damn thing Barrette Green! Not when it comes to my family!” I scream trying to clamber over a fallen log to more easily attack Barrette who keep moving away. “Your right! I don’t! But your grandfather obviously wanted you to walk out of this life alive! Otherwise he wouldn’t have left those files behind!” Barrette shouts back dodging yet another flying fist aimed at his jaw, this time he runs around the tree he had me pinned to and jumps back over the log I nearly fell over.

“Sadly I’m starting to think that old man was insane, you are obviously not the person he thought you would be!” Barrette shouts one hundred percent crossing the line and breaking what little strand of sanity I was hanging onto.

“You’re right, I’m not, I’m a waste of life! I’m ninety percent insane, I’m broken beyond repair, I am damned, yet for some reason I haven’t been struck down yet. But my time is coming, I know it is, and like I just said, the next time I go insane I’m not coming back. I will not go back to an Asylum not again,  I will die first but if I die I’m not going in vain, Devon will go with me.” I reply sounding as cold and frozen as a lake in the dead of winter.

I start to walk away again when Barrette says something that stops me in my tracks, clears my mind and breaks me entirely, just as his both his songs did.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from unrighteousness…Go ahead and go Bonnie, but I already forgive you for abandoning us in a time we all need and want someone like you in our family. I just hope that you at least remember when you fall flat that you have a home to come back to. And it’s not in any cement city; and its certainly not some forgotten cabin in the middle of nowhere either.” Barrette says as he approaches me, I collapse to my knees feeling entirely numb, and broken, yet at the same time feeling free of all burden.

“Or, you can get up and talk to me and we can figure this out together. How many times do I have to tell you that you are not alone.” Barrette says kneeling down beside me, he rests his hand on my shoulder wearily, still not sure if I will take a swing at him or not. “Come home Bonnie, you’re not alone anymore.” With tears falling like rain down my face destroying what little bit of makeup was still in place, I stand up with my car keys in hand allowing Barrette to guide me back towards the house.

“So your talking to your Grandmother? Do you mean Bonnie Parker the first?” Barrette asks as we step out of the corn field. “Yes, she keeps telling me ‘Don’t waste your time on Clyde Barrow. He can be trusted.’ I don’t understand what she means though.” I explain to Barrette who stops us both just outside of the alley I ran through to get into the Corn field.

“Do you think that you’re having a mental break down or is someone trying to tell you something?” Barrette asks, which really confuses me because I don’t take him as the type to believe in people talking beyond the grave.

“How should I know? I suppose it could be another mental mishap, except the last time I went bonkers I was hallucinating some warped version of Alice in Wonderland and running around screaming burn the beast. Which is why Michael almost died in a house fire, everything I was imaging wasn’t real, it was all a figment of my overly medicated imagination. I’m more inclined to think she’s actually trying to tell me something.” I explain to Barrette who sighs  sounding as tired and perplexed as I feel right about now.

“Here’s the deal, I don’t care if you like it or not. You are not to wander off alone for a while, you need to start working your problems. I cannot be afraid to leave you alone to make a run into town to get food, or ammo.” Barrette says then stops again this time in his mother’s front yard. “If you have another freak out like that, I will drag you kicking and screaming right back to a mental hospital. It’s called tough love Bonnie, and if you don’t like it then oh well.” Barrette