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Volume 2 Chapter 47 (Collecting Taxes Of The Miners) Pg 17

"We Are Not Afraid Of Our Reputation, Judy," The Inspector Said. "We

Know That You Are Bad, But We Don't Believe That You Can Corrupt The

Whole Of The Squad."

 

"O, Ye Murdering Villains, To Thus Slander An Honest Female Who Has Only

Her Vartue To Protect Her." Then Raising Her Voice As Though To Attract

The Attention Of Some One Within The House, She Shouted, In Satirical

Language, "It's Little Me Husband Cares About Me, Or He'd Niver Stand By

And See Me Treated Thus, And I Niver Making The Least Complaint In The

World. It's Mighty Fine Husbands There Is In The World Now, And It's

Little Use They Are To Us Fable Females."

 

As Though To Avenge Her Injuries On Some One, She Gave The Child A Rap

Over A Certain Portion Of His Anatomy That Presented The Broadest Disk,

And His Wild Howls Were Heard For Half A Mile.

 

"If There's Law To Be Had In This Country I'll Have It," Judy Continued,

Growing More Excited As She Recited Her Wrongs. "If Ye Want Yer Tax, Why

Don't Ye Come Here After It In A Dacent Fashion, And Not Begin By

Insulting Me And Me Own, And Then Frightening The Child Out Of Its Wits.

Didn't Yer Mothers Larn Ye Manners At All, And Do Ye Think We Can Stand

All Sorts Of Barbarities?"

 

Before The Inspector Could Return An Answer, A Stout, Broad-Shouldered

Fellow Sneaked To The Door, And His Appearance Was Greeted With

Laughter.

 

"We Have Unkennelled The Fox, Have We?" The Sergeant Of The Squad Said.

"Hitherto We Have Had To Dig For Him."

 

"Come, Mike, Where Is Your Tax?" Asked The Inspector, In A Mild Tone.

 

"He's No Money, I Tell Ye," Screamed The Woman, Shaking One Of Her Huge

Fists At The Officer In A Defiant Manner, And Glancing Towards Her Lord,

As Though Warning Him Of The Consequences Of Gainsaying Her Word. "I've

Told Ye That He'd No Money, And Now Be Off, And The Divil Go Wid Ye."

 

"Pace, Judy, Dear," Remonstrated Mike, In A Subdued Tone; "It's The

Police Who Always Behave Like Rale Gentlemen."

 

"Hear Him," Screamed The Indignant Woman, "Turn Upon His Own Lawful,

Married Wife, And Abuse Her Like A Baste. Why Don't Ye Bite Me In Two,

Ye Little Brat?"

 

She Gave Her Child A Shake That Made Him Think There Was An Earthquake,

And Then Supplied Him With A Liberal Allowance Of Food That Kind Nature

Had Wisely Provided For The Purpose Of Keeping Children Quiet, Even For

A Few Minutes.

 

"Whist, Judy; Don't Be After Trating The Child That Way," Remonstrated

The Father, Who Appeared To Have Some Spirit When The Welfare Of His

Heir Was Concerned.

 

"Ah, Go On Insulting Me--Don't Spare Reproaches. I'm Defenceless Now."

Volume 2 Chapter 47 (Collecting Taxes Of The Miners) Pg 18

 

Woman's Last Resource, Tears, Were Quickly Called Up, And Under Their

Shadow Mike Sneaked Towards Us, As Though About To Pay His Money And

Have Done With The Trouble; But Before He Could Accomplish His Good

Resolution The Woman Had Cleared Her Eyes, And In A Voice That Started

Us, Yelled,--

 

"Mike, Ye Divil, Come Here This Instant."

 

The Hen-Pecked Husband Did Not Dare To Disobey. He Cast An Imploring,

Half-Sheepish Look Towards His Wife.

 

"We Have Delayed Long Enough," Mr. Brown Said. "Sergeant, Put On The

Irons."

 

The Sergeant Dismounted Quite Coolly, And Summoned Six Men To His

Assistance. I Noticed That The Officers Did Not Display Any Great

Alacrity, And Acted As Though Quite Ashamed Of The Duty That They Were

To Enter Upon.

 

"The Sergeant Means To Have Assistance Enough," Fred Remarked,

Addressing The Inspector.

 

"You Will See," The Latter Returned; And We Did, Sure Enough; For No

Sooner Did The Officers Lay Hands Upon Michael Than The Woman Dropped

Her Child, And With A Wild Shout Threw Herself Upon Them. The First Poor

Devil Whom She Spotted Lost A Handful Of Hair--But As It Was As Red As

Fire It Was No Great Sacrifice To The Owner--The Second Had A Piece Of

Skin Clawed Off His Nose, And The Third Reluctantly Parted With A Piece

Of Flesh Weighing Nearly A Quarter Of An Ounce, Torn Forcibly From His

Cheek. The Police Endeavored To Keep Her At Arms' Length Without

Success--She Broke Down Their Defences, And Clawed The Hair From Their

Heads In The Most Scientific Manner; And Yet She Had All The Fighting To

Do, For Michael Remained In The Custody Of Two Officers Without Offering

To Strike A Blow For Liberty.

 

The War Was At Length Fiercely Contested, For The Officers, Finding That

They Were Likely To Be Placed _Hors Du Combat_, Made A Rush Towards The

Amazon; And While Two Seized Her Arms, Two More Grasped Her Legs, And I

Am Obliged To Confess That The Police Did Not Display Much Delicacy In

The Latter Operation. In Spite Of Her Struggles--In Defiance Of Her

Imprecations, And Calls For Mike To Interfere In Her Behalf--She Was

Carried Bodily Towards The Hut, And Poised In The Air For A Moment; And

Then, With A "One, Two, Three, And Away She Goes," Was Thrown Head

Foremost Through The Door, And Landed In The Middle Of The Hut All In A

Heap.

 

"You Have Kilt Me Wife," Moaned Mike, Who Watched The Operation With

Considerable Anxiety For His Better Half.

 

"Hang Her, She's Skinned Me From Head To Foot," Muttered One Of The

Officers, Wiping His Bleeding Face On A Handkerchief, And Showing His

Wounds To The Inspector.

 

Volume 2 Chapter 47 (Collecting Taxes Of The Miners) Pg 19

"Skinned!" Echoed Another; "If She Had Only Taken Skin I Shouldn't Mind

It Much; But, Blast Her, She Has Torn Flesh And Muscle From My Face."

 

"I'm Sorry For Your Misfortunes, But We Will Have Her Arrested On A

Warrant To-Morrow, And Fined," The Inspector Said. "Bring Mike Along,

And Set Him At Work On The Roads For A Few Days."

 

"Arrah, Now, Mr. Inspector, Don't Be After Doing That," Shouted The

Irishman; But In Defiance Of His Cries He Was Handcuffed And Driven

Along With The Rest.

 

We Had Got A Few Yards From The Hut When Mrs. Judy Appeared At The Door,

Looking A Little The Worse For Her Late Usage. Her Hair Was Hanging Over

Her Shoulders, And Her Dress Was Torn In A Dozen Places. Both Feet Were

Bare, And None Too Clean; But Little She Cared For Her Appearance Just

Then.

 

"For The Love Of St. Patrick, Mr. Inspector, Stop A Minute, And Don't Be

After Carrying Away Mike, The Poor, Harmless Divil. Lave Him Here Wid

Me, And We'll Pay The Tax Without A Murmur."

 

"Too Late," Cried Mr. Brown, Without Turning His Head, Although I Could

See That He Was Disposed To Come To Terms.

 

"Ough, Don't Say That, Bless Yer Handsome Face And Yer Kind Heart. What

Could I Do, Sure, Widout Me Mike? Lave Him Here Wid Me, And If The

Blackguard Has Been Insulting Ye I'll Punish Him, Depind Upon It."

 

"It's Not Of Your Husband That We Complain," The Inspector Said; "He

Would Act Decently, And Pay His Tax, If You Would Let Him."

 

"Ah, Then--Glory To God--Poor Mike Is Safe; And I Thought All Along That

He Wouldn't Disgrace His Judy So Much As To Refuse What A Just Gentleman

Like Ye Demands. Pay The Officer The Tax, And Say No More About It. It's

But A Trifle."

 

The Sergeant Looked At Mr. Brown, And The Latter Glanced At The

Sergeant. There Was But Little Use In Making Mike Work On The Road, If

He Had The Money To Pay For His Month's Mining; So A Halt Was Called,

And The Woman Quickly Poured Out Dust Enough From A Cracked Teacup To

Satisfy The Demands Of Government, And Then Mike Was Restored To The

Dirty Arms Of His Better Half.

 

"I Hope That All The Taxes Collected Do Not Come As Hard As This," Fred

Said, Addressing The Inspector.

 

"They All Pay Out Their Money With An Ill Grace; But Our Worst Cases,

With One Exception, Are Over."

 

As We Passed Through The Several Districts, Many Of The Miners Stood

Ready With Their Gold, And After Answering To Their Names, Paid Their

Taxes Without A Murmur; And Even While Disputes Were Going On, They Did

Not Prevent The Clerks Who Accompanied Us From Attending To Their

Duties.

Volume 2 Chapter 47 (Collecting Taxes Of The Miners) Pg 20

 

All Those Who Did Not Possess The Cash Were Required To Follow In Our

Train, As Captives, To Work Out A Certain Amount On The Roads. Men Who

Had Been Sick, And Were Incapable Of Raising Ten Shillings, Were Shown

No Indulgence Whatever; And Although We Often Interceded, And Our Wishes

Were Granted In Every Case, Yet We Felt That The Inspector's Orders

Were Rigid, And That We Were Imposing Upon Good Nature, To Make Requests

In Every Instance Where Poverty Compelled A Miner To Decline Paying His

Tax.

 

At Length We Reached The Chinese District, And The Celestials Turned Out

In Great Numbers To Receive Us. Many Handed The Clerks The Money That

Was Due Without A Word Of Comment, And We Experienced No Trouble Until

We Reached The Quarters Of Yam Kow, An Old Fellow Whose Tail Reached To

The Ground, And Who Was Reported To Be The Most Miserly Of All The

Chinese At Ballarat. That He Had Money There Was No Doubt, For He Was

Always At Work, Or Trading With His Countrymen, And He Was Never Known

To Spend A Shilling For Clothing Or Food. What He Lived On Was Unknown,

And Could Only Be Conjectured; But It Was Said That Kow Had Been Seen

Nights Setting Traps For Snakes And Rats, And Even Lizards Were

Considered Quite Delicate Meat For Him.

 

Traps Of Most Ingenious And Cunning Device Were Also Set For Birds, And

Kow Had Been Known To Waste A Few

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