Memoir of Jane Austen by James Edward Austen-Leigh (best books to read for success txt) 📕

Jane and her sister Cassandra took lodgings in College Street.  They had two kind friends living in the Close, Mrs. Heathcote and Miss Bigg, the mother and aunt of the present Sir Wm. Heathcote of Hursley, between whose family and ours a close friendship has existed for several generations.  These friends did all that they could to promote the comfort of the sisters, during that sad sojourn in Winchester, both by their society, and by supplying those little conveniences in which a lodging-house was likely to be deficient.  It was shortly after settling in these lodgings that she wrote to a nephew the following characteristic letter, no longer, alas in her former strong, clear hand.

‘Mrs. David’s, College St., Winton,
‘Tuesday, May 27th.

‘There is no better way, my dearest E., of thanking you for your affectionate concern for me during my illness than by telling you myself, as soon as possible, that I continue to get better.  I will not boast of my handwriting; neither that nor my face have yet recovered their proper beauty, but in other respects I gain strength very fast.  I am now out of bed from 9 in the morning to 10 at night: upon the sofa, it is true, but I eat my meals with aunt Cassandra in a rational way, and can employ myself, and walk from one room to another.  Mr. Lyford says he will cure me, and if he fails, I shall draw up a memorial and lay it before the Dean and Chapter, and have no doubt of redress from that pious, learned, and disinterested body.  Our lodgings are very comfortable.  We have a neat little drawing-room with a bow window overlooking Dr. Gabell’s garden. {173}  Thanks to the kindness of your father and mother in sending me their carriage, my journey hither on Saturday was performed with very little fatigue, and had it been a fine day, I think I should have felt none; but it distressed me to see uncle Henry and Wm. Knight, who kindly attended us on horseback, riding in the rain almost the whole way.  We expect a visit from them to-morrow, and hope they will stay the night; and on Thursday, which is a confirmation and a holiday, we are to get Charles out to breakfast.  We have had but one visit from him, poor fellow, as he is in sick-room, but he hopes to be out to-night.  We see Mrs. Heathcote every day, and William is to call upon us soon.  God bless you, my dear E.  If ever you are ill, may you be as tenderly nursed as I have been.  May the same blessed alleviations of anxious, sympathising friends be yours: and may you possess, as I dare say you will, the greatest blessing of all in the consciousness of not being unworthy of their love.  I could not feel this.

‘Your very affecte Aunt,
‘J. A.’

The following extract from a letter which has been before printed, written soon after the former, breathes the same spirit of humility and thankfulness:—

‘I will only say further that my dearest sister, my tender, watchful, indefatigable nurse, has not been made ill by her exertions.  As to what I owe her, and the anxious affection of all my beloved family on this occasion, I can only cry over it, and pray God to bless them more and more.’

Throughout her illness she was nursed by her sister, often assisted by her sister-in-law, my mother.  Both were with her when she died.  Two of her brothers, who were clergymen, lived near enough to Winchester to be in frequent attendance, and to administer the services suitable for a Christian’s death-bed.  While she used the language of hope to her correspondents, she was fully aware of her danger, though not appalled by it.  It is true that there was much to attach her to life.  She was happy in her family; she was just beginning to feel confidence in her own success; and, no doubt, the exercise of her great talents was an enjoyment in itself.  We may well believe that she would gladly have lived longer; but she was enabled without dismay or complaint to prepare for death.  She was a humble, believing Christian.  Her life had been passed in the performance of home duties, and the cultivation of domestic affections, without any self-seeking or craving after applause.  She had always sought, as it were by instinct, to promote the happiness of all who came within her influence, and doubtless she had her reward in the peace of mind which was granted her in her last days.  Her sweetness of temper never failed.  She was ever considerate and grateful to those who attended on her.  At times, when she felt rather better, her playfulness of spirit revived, and she amused them even in their sadness.  Once, when she thought herself near her end, she said what she imagined might be her last words to those around her, and particularly thanked her sister-in-law for being with her, saying: ‘You have always been a kind sister to me, Mary.’  When the end at last came, she sank rapidly, and on being asked by her attendants whether there was anything that she wanted, her reply was, ‘Nothing but death.’  These were her last words.  In quietness and peace she breathed her last on the morning of July 18, 1817.

On the 24th of that month she was buried in Winchester Cathedral, near the centre of the north aisle, almost opposite to the beautiful chantry tomb of William of Wykeham.  A large slab of black marble in the pavement marks the place.  Her own family only attended the funeral.  Her sister returned to her desolated home, there to devote herself, for ten years, to the care of her aged mother; and to live much on the memory of her lost sister, till called many years later to rejoin her.  Her brothers went back sorrowing to their several homes.  They were very fond and very proud of her.  They were attached to her by her talents, her virtues, and her engaging manners; and each loved afterwards to fancy a resemblance in some niece or daughter of his own to the dear sister Jane, whose perfect equal they yet never expected to see.

The Cancelled Chapter (Chap. X.) of ‘Persuasion.’

With all this knowledge of Mr. Elliot and this authority to impart it, Anne left Westgate Buildings, her mind deeply busy in revolving what she had heard, feeling, thinking, recalling, and foreseeing everything, shocked at Mr. Elliot, sighing over future Kellynch, and pained for Lady Russell, whose confidence in him had been entire.  The embarrassment which must be felt from this hour in his presence!  How to behave to him?  How to get rid of him?  What to do by any of the party at home?  Where to be blind?  Where to be active?  It was altogether a confusion of images and doubts—a perplexity, an agitation which she could not see the end of.  And she was in Gay Street, and still so much engrossed that she started on being addressed by Admiral Croft, as if he were a person unlikely to be met there.  It was within a few steps of his own door.

‘You are going to call upon my wife,’ said he.  ‘She will be very glad to see you.’

Anne denied it.

‘No! she really had not time, she was in her way home;’ but while she spoke the Admiral had stepped back and knocked at the door, calling out,

‘Yes, yes; do go in; she is all alone; go in and rest yourself.’

Anne felt so little disposed at this time to be in company of any sort, that it vexed her to be thus constrained, but she was obliged to stop.

‘Since you are so very kind,’ said she, ‘I will just ask Mrs. Croft how she does, but I really cannot stay five minutes.  You are sure she is quite alone?’

The possibility of Captain Wentworth had occurred; and most fearfully anxious was she to be assured—either that he was within, or that he was not—which might have been a question.

‘Oh yes! quite alone, nobody but her mantua-maker with her, and they have been shut up together this half-hour, so it must be over soon.’

‘Her mantua-maker!  Then I am sure my calling now would be most inconvenient.  Indeed you must allow me to leave my card and be so good as to explain it afterwards to Mrs. Croft.’

‘No, no, not at all—not at all—she will be very happy to see you.  Mind, I will not swear that she has not something particular to say to you, but that will all come out in the right place.  I give no hints.  Why, Miss Elliot, we begin to hear strange things of you (smiling in her face).  But you have not much the look of it, as grave as a little judge!’

Anne blushed.

‘Aye, aye, that will do now, it is all right.  I thought we were not mistaken.’

She was left to guess at the direction of his suspicions; the first wild idea had been of some disclosure from his brother-in-law, but she was ashamed the next moment, and felt how far more probable it was that he should be meaning Mr. Elliot.  The door was opened, and the man evidently beginning to deny his mistress, when the sight of his master stopped him.  The Admiral enjoyed the joke exceedingly.  Anne thought his triumph over Stephen rather too long.  At last, however, he was able to invite her up stairs, and stepping before her said, ‘I will just go up with you myself and show you in.  I cannot stay, because I must go to the Post-Office, but if you will only sit down for five minutes I am sure Sophy will come, and you will find nobody to disturb you—there is nobody but Frederick here,’ opening the door as he spoke.  Such a person to be passed over as nobody to her!  After being allowed to feel quite secure, indifferent, at her ease, to have it burst on her that she was to be the next moment in the same room with him!  No time for recollection! for planning behaviour or regulating manners!  There was time only to turn pale before she had passed through the door, and met the astonished eyes of Captain Wentworth, who was sitting by the fire, pretending to read, and prepared for no greater surprise than the Admiral’s hasty return.

Equally unexpected was the meeting on each side.  There was nothing to be done, however, but to stifle feelings, and to be quietly polite, and the Admiral was too much on the alert to leave any troublesome pause.  He repeated again what he had said before about his wife and everybody, insisted on Anne’s sitting down and being perfectly comfortable—was sorry he must leave her himself, but was sure Mrs. Croft would be down very soon, and would go upstairs and give her notice directly.  Anne was sitting down, but now she arose, again to entreat him not to interrupt Mrs. Croft and re-urge the wish of going away and calling another time.  But the Admiral