A Voyage Of Consolation by Sara Jeannette Duncan (rm book recommendations .txt) π
Poppa Says I Ought Not To Feel That Way About It--That He Might Just As
Well Be Shy About Referring To The Baking Soda That He Himself
Invented--But I Do, And It Is With Every Apology That I Mention It.
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- Author: Sara Jeannette Duncan
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Paris, Isn'T There--To Be Interesting," But The Senator Was Too Deeply
Engaged In Getting Out Momma'S Smelling Salts To Corroborate This
Interpretation.
It Is A Very Long Way To Genoa If You Don'T Stop At Aix-Les-Bains Or
Anywhere--Twenty-Four Hours--But Mont Cenis Occurs In The Night, Which
Is Suitable In a Tunnel. There Came A Chill Through The Darkness That
Struck To One'S Very Marrow, And We All Rose With One Accord And Groped
About For More Rugs. When Broad Daylight Came It Was Savoy, And We
Realised What We Had Been Through. The Senator Was Inclined To Deplore
Missing The Realisation Of The Mont Cenis, And It Was Only When Momma
Said It Was A Pity He Hadn'T Taken A Train That Would Have Brought Us
Through In The Daytime And Enabled Him To Examine It, That He Ceased To
Express Regret. My Parents Are Often Vehicles Of Philosophy For Each
Other.
Besides, In The Course Of The Morning The Senator Acknowledged That He
Got More Tunnels Than He Had Any Idea He Had Paid For. They Came With A
Precipitancy That Interfered Immensely With Any Connected Idea Of The
Scenery, Though Momma, In My Interest, Did Her Best To Form One. "Note,
My Love," She Said, As We Began To Penetrate The Frontier Country, "That
Majestic Blue Summit On The Horizon To The Left"--Obliteration, And
Another Tunnel! "_Don'T_ Miss That Jagged Line Of Snows Just Beyond The
Back Of Poppa'S Head, Dear One. Quick! They Are Melting Away!"--But The
Next Tunnel Was Quicker. "Put Down That The Dazzling Purity Of These
Lovely Peaks Must Be Realised, For It Cannot Be"--Darkness, And The
Blight Of Another Tunnel. It Was Very Hard On Momma'S Imagination, And
She Finally Accepted The Senator'S Warning That It Would Be Thrown
Completely Out Of Gear If She Went On, And Abandoned The Attempt To Form
Complete Sentences Between Tunnels. It Was Much Simpler To Exclaim
"Splendid!" Or "Glorious!" Which One Could Generally Do Without Being
Interrupted.
We Were Not Prepared To Enjoy Anything When We Arrived At Genoa, But
There Was Christopher Columbus In bronze, Just Outside The Station In a
Little Place By Himself, And We Felt Bound To Give Him Our Attention
Before We Went Any Further. He Was Patting America On The Head, Both Of
Them Life Size, And Carrying On That Historical Argument With His
Sailors In bas-Relief Below; And He Looked A Very Fine Character. As
Poppa Said, He Was Just The Man You Would Pick Out To Discover America.
The Senator Also Remarked That You Could See From The Position Of The
Statue, Right There In Full View Of The Travelling Public, That The
Genoese Thought A Lot Of Columbus; Relied Upon Him, In Fact, As Their
Biggest Attraction. Momma Examined Him From The Carriage. She Said It
Was Most Gratifying To See Him There In His Own Home, So To Speak; But
Her Enthusiasm Did Not Induce Her To Get Out. Momma'S Patriotism Has
Always To Be Considered In connection With The State Of Her Nerves.
The State Of All Our Nerves Was Healed In a Quarter Of An Hour. The
Senator Showed His Coupons Somewhat Truculently, But They Were Received
As Things Of Price With Disarming Bows And Real Gladness. We Were Led
Through Rambling Passages Into Lofty White Chambers, With Marble Floors
And Iron Bedsteads, Full Of Simplicity And Cleanliness, Where We Removed
All Recollections Of Paris Without Being Obliged To Consider A Stuffy
Carpet Or Satin-Covered Furniture. Italy, In The Persons Of The
_Portier_ And The Chambermaid, Laid Hold Of Us With Intelligible Smiles,
And We Were Charmed. Inside, The Place Was Full Of Long Free Lines And
Cool Polished Surfaces, And Pleasant Curves. Outside, A Thick-Fronded
Palm Swayed In The Evening Wind Against A Climbing Hill Of Many-Tinted,
Many-Windowed Houses, In all The Soft Colours We Knew Of Before. When
The _Portier_ Addressed Momma As "Signora" Her Cup Of Bliss Ran Over,
And She Made Up Her Mind That She Felt Able, After All, To Go Down To
Dinner.
Remembering Their Sentiments, We Bowed As Slightly As Possible When We
Saw The Miss Binghams Across The Table, And The Senator Threw That Into
His Voice, As He Inquired How They Liked _La Belle Italie_ So Far, And
Whether They Had Had Any Trouble With Their Trunks Coming In, Which
Might Have Given Them To Understand That His Politeness Was Very
Perfunctory. If They Perceived It, They Allowed It To Influence Them The
Other Way, However. They Asked, Almost As Cordially As If We Were
Middle-Class English People, Whether We Had Actually Survived That Trip
To Versailles, And Forbore To Comment When We Said We Had Enjoyed It,
Beyond Saying That If There Was One Enviable Thing It Was The American
Capacity For Pleasure. Yet One Could See Quite Plainly That The Vacuum
Caused By The Absence Of The American Capacity For Pleasure Was Filled
In Their Case By Something Very Superior To It.
"This City New To You?" Asked The Senator As The Meal Progressed.
"In A _Sense_, Yes," Replied Miss Nancy Bingham.
"We'Ve Never _Studied_ It Before," Said Miss Cora.
"I Suppose It Has A Fascination All Its Own," Remarked Momma.
"Oh, Rather!" Exclaimed Miss Nancy Bingham, And I Reflected That When
She Was In england She Must Have Seen A Great Deal Of School-Boy
Society. I Decided At Once, Noting Its Effect Upon The Lips Of A
Middle-Aged Maiden Lady, That Momma Must Not Be Allowed To Pick Up The
Expression.
"It'S Simply Full Of Associations Of Old Families--The Dorias, The
Pallavicinis, The Durazzos," Remarked Miss Cora. "Do You Gloat On The
Medieval?"
"We'Re Perfectly Prepared To," Said The Senator. "I Believe We'Ve Got
Both Murray And Baedeker For This Place. Now Do You Commit Your Facts To
Memory Before Going To Bed The Night Previous, Or Do You Learn Them Up
As You Go Along?"
"Oh," Said Miss Nancy Bingham, "We Are Of The Opinion That One Should
Always Visit These Places With A Mind Prepared. Though I Myself Have No
Objection To Carrying A Guide-Book, Provided It Is Covered With Brown
Paper."
"Then You Acquire It All Beforehand," Commented The Senator. "That, I
Must Say, Is Commendable Of You. And It'S Certainly The Only
Business-Like Way Of Proceeding. The Amount Of Time A Person Loses
Fooling Over Baedeker On The Spot----"
"One Of Us Does," Acknowledged Miss Nancy. "We Take It In Turns. And I
Must Say It Is Generally My Sister." And She Turned To Miss Cora, Who
Blushed And Said, "How Can You, Nancy!"
"And You Use Her, For That Particular Public Building Or Historic
Scene, As A Sort Of Portable, Self-Acting Reference Library," Remarked
Poppa. "That'S An Idea That Commends Itself To Me, Daughter, In
Connection With You."
I Was About To Reply In Terms Of Deprecation, When A Confusion Of Sound
Drifted In From The Street, Of Arriving Cabs And Expostulating Voices.
The Miss Binghams Looked At Each Other In consternation And Said With
One Accord, "It _Was_ The _Fulda_!"
"Was It?" Inquired Poppa. "Do You Refer To The German Lloyd Steamship Of
That Name?"
"We Do," Said Miss Nancy. "About An Hour Ago We Were Sure We Saw Her
Steaming Into The Harbour."
"She Comes From New York, I Suppose," Momma Remarked.
"She Does Indeed," Said Miss Nancy, "And She'S Been Lying At The Docks
Unloading Americans Ever Since She Arrived. And Here They Are. Cora,
Have You Finished?"
Cora Said She Had, And Without Further Parley The Ladies Rose And
Rustled Away. Their Invading Fellow-Countrymen Gratefully Took Their
Places, And The Senator Sent A Glance Of Scorn After Them Strong Enough
To Make Them Turn Round. After Dinner, We Saw A Collection Of Cabin
Trunks And Valises Standing In The Entrance Hall Labelled Bingham,
And Knew That Miss Nancy And Miss Cora Were Again In Flight Before The
Nemesis Of The American Eagle. I Will Not Repeat Poppa'S Sentiments.
On The Hotel Doorstep Next Morning Waited Alessandro Bebbini. He Waited
For Us--An Hour And A Half, Because Momma Had Some Re-Packing To Do And
We Were Going On Next Day. Nobody Had Asked Him To Wait, But He Had A
Carriage Ready And The Look Of Having Been Ordered Three Months
Previously. He Presented His Card To The Senator, Who Glanced At Him And
Said, "Do I _Look_ As If I Wanted A Shave?"
Alessandro Bebbini Smiled--An Olive Flash Of Pity And Amusement. "I Make
Not The Shava, Signore," He Said, "I Am The Courier--For Your Kind
Dispositione I Am Here."
"You Should _Never_ Judge Foreigners By Their Appearance, Alexander,"
Rebuked Momma.
"Well, Mr. Bebbini," Said The Senator, "I Guess I'Ve Got To Apologise To
You. You See They Told Me Inside There That I Should Probably Find A--A
Tonsorial Artist Out Here On The Steps"--Poppa Never Minds Telling A
Story To Save People'S Feelings. "But You Haven'T Convinced Me," He
Continued, "That I'Ve Got Any Use For A Courier."
"You Wish See Genoa--Is It Not?"
"Well, Yes," Replied The Senator, "It Is."
"Then With Me You Come Alonga. I Will Translate You The City--Shoppia,
Pallass--W'At You Like. Also I Am Not Dear Man Neither. In The Season
Yes. Then I Am Very Dear. But Now Is Nobody."
"What Does Your Time Cost To Buy?" Demanded Poppa.
"Very Cheap Price. Two Francs One Hour. Ten Francs One Day. But If With
You I Travel, Make Arrangimento, You Und'Stan', Look For Traina--'Otel,
_Biglietto, Bagaglia_--Then I Am So Little You Laugh. Two 'Undred Franc
The Month!" And Alessandro Indicated With Every Muscle Of His Body The
Amazement He Expected Us To Feel.
The Senator Turned To The Ladies Of His Family. "Now That I Think Of
It," He Said, "Travels In Italy Are Never Written Without A Courier.
People Wouldn'T Believe They Were Authentic. And Bramley Said If You
Really Wanted To Enjoy Yourself It Was Folly Not To Engage One."
"I Suppose There'S More _Choice_ In The Season," Said Momma, Glancing
Disapprovingly At Alessandro'S Swarthy Collar. "And I Confess I Should
Have Expected Them To Be Garbed More Picturesquely."
"Look At His Language," I Remarked. "You Can'T Have Everything."
The Senator Said That Was So. "I Believe You Can Come Along, Mr.
Bebbini," He Said; "We'Re Strangers Here And We'Ll Get You To Help Us To
Enjoy Ourselves For A Month On The Terms You Name. You Can Begin Right
Away."
Alessandro Bowed And Waved Us To The Carriage. It Was Only The Ordinary
Commercial Bow Of Italy, But I Could See That It Made A Difference To
Momma. He Saw Us Seated And Was Climbing On The Box When Poppa
Interfered. "There'S No Use Trying To Work It That Way," He Said; "We
Can'T Ask You To Twist Your Head Off Every Time You Emit A Piece Of
Information. Besides, There'S No Sense In Your Riding On The Box When
There'S An Extra Seat. You Won'T Crowd Us Any, Mr. Bebbini, And I Guess
We Can Refrain From Discussing Family Matters For _One_ Hour."
So We Started, With Mr. Bebbini At Short Range.
"I Think," Said He, "You Lika First Off The 'Ouse Of Cristoforo
Colombo."
"I Don'T See How You Knew," Said Poppa, "But You Are Perfectly Correct.
Cristoforo Was One Of The Most Distinguished Americans On The Roll Of
History, And We, Also, Are Americans. At Once, At Once To The Habitation
Of Cristoforo."
Alessandro Leaned Forward Impressively.
"Who Informa You Cristoforo Colombo Was Americano? Better You Don'T
Believe These Other Guide--Ignoranta Fella. Cristoforo Was Genoa Man,
Born Here, You Und'Stan'? Italiano. Only Live In america A Lill'
W'Ile--To Discover, You Und'Stan'?"
"Mr. Bebbini," Said Poppa, "If You Go Around Contradicting Americans On
The Subject Of Christopher Columbus Your Business Will Decrease. As A
Matter Of Fact, Christopher Wasn'T Born, He Was Made, And America Made
Him. He Has Every Right To Claim To Be Considered An American, And It
Was A Little Careless Of Him Not To Have Founded A Family There. We Make
Excuses For Him--It'S Quite True He Had Very Little Time At His
Disposal--But We Feel It, The Whole Nation Of Us, To This Day."
The Via Balbi Was Cheerfully Crooked And Crowded, It Had The Modern
Note Of The Street Car, And The Mediaeval One Of Old Women, Arms Akimbo,
In The Nooks And Recesses, Selling Big Black Cherries And Bursting Figs.
Even The Old Women Though, As Momma Complained, Wore Postilion Basques
And Bell Skirts, Certainly In an Advanced Stage Of Usefulness, But Of
Unmistakable Genesis--Just What Had Been Popular In chicago A Year Or
Two Before.
"Really, My Love," Said Momma, "I Don'T Know _What_ We Shall Do For
Description In Genoa, The People Seem To Wear No Clothes Worth
Mentioning Whatever." We Concluded That All The City'S Characteristically
Italian Garments Were In The Wash; They Depended In Novel Cut And Colour
From Every Window That Did Not Belong To A Bank Or A University; And
Sometimes, When The Side Street Was Narrow And The Houses High, The Effect
Was Quite Imposing. Poppa Asked Alessandro Bebbini Whether They Were
Expecting Royalty Or Anything, Or Whether It Was Like This
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