More Than Life by Breana G (unputdownable books txt) 📕

said taking a sip out of the straw. 

I looked at the door, looking forward to it opening by either David or Nick. I don't think Jan knew why I was standing there, so I told her I was waiting for them.

"Are you giving them a good luck kiss?" she asked.

I let out a loud sarcastic 'Hah' and raised an eyebrow, "because I would kiss a brother in front of another."

"Why not? They're both hot!"

"Well, still. That'd be weird and uncalled for. We're all friends, and no. I just couldn't."

"Nick most definitely needs a good luck kiss," Jan pointed out.

I sighed. The thought of the news everyone has been sharing with each other like it's some kind of healthy disease, made my stomach turn. I looked down at the ground and Nick's voice echoed through my mind. I felt bad, but there was nothing anyone could do to help him.

"Let's not talk about that right now," I offered.

"Talk about what?" I heard come from the door. 

It was slowly opening and it was Nick coming out. He had a small smile on his face, and I just couldn't help but smile as well. He had his jersey on, but instead of wearing his full uniform, he just wore Nike shorts, black Nike socks, and white Nike sandals.

"I thought you were playing?" Jan asked with minor confusion.

Nick glanced down at the tiled floor, "I thought so too, until last night the doctor said I couldn't."

"Well, why not?" 

"So many questions, Jan," Nick chuckled. "Because, since I'm out there a lot and running a whole bunch and shit, he thinks it could disrupt the brain stem."

My eyes began to water and I dropped my coffee. 

"Seriously, Estell?!" Jan hollered.

I flung into Nick's arms as he stood still like a statue for a moment. He then wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. "It's gonna be fine," He reassured me.

I shook my head, "why didn't I know about this until yesterday?" I paused to take a deep breath, "why didn't you or David tell me when you found out?"

I could feel Nick shake his head, "I didn't want anyone to know so soon, but David having a big mouth, he spilled the beans and told people. I especially didn't want you to know until later, only because I didn't wanna see you upset. So please do me a favor?"

My lips quivered and my eyes closed tightly. I nodded, but I guess that wasn't a good enough response. He unglued my body from his and put my chin up so my eyes could meet his, "can you do me a favor?"

I giggled. He was smiling, but you could easily see the agony building up in his eyes. I felt bad! "Depends," I said.

"Don't ever frown and don't ever cry. Smile with me and everyone else. There's honestly nothing to be upset about, alright?"

I nodded my head and hugged him tightly, "I'll try," I mummered.

"No, you're not gonna try, you're gonna do."

"You sound like her dad," Jan laughed.

I couldn't help but laugh either. It was true; my dad did sort of talk like that. 

"I do, don't I?" Nick chuckled.

We let go of each other and cleaned up the spilt coffee. It was probably uncalled-for to make that little scene, but I couldn't help it. I was in shock, though. 

 

Same Night

"Can I ask you something I've always wanted to ask?" Nick questioned.

"Of course," I answered.

He looked out into the field. The guys were playing under the bright lights, which was pretty cool. You could see the fog rolling in, and the mist in the air that was surrounding them, and everyone watching the game. The lights that reflected in Nick's eyes made the blue look gorgeous. His eyes had the endless love of mine.

He turned his head and caught my stare and smiled, "how does it feel to sit with all the varsity guys? You're the only girl, and I'd assume it'd be quite awkward."

I giggled, "your assumption is incorrect. I mean, last year it was awkward because I was a freshman and I only knew you and David. But, it's really nice and fun. Just because you guys are so carefree and sitting with you guys gives me the chance to get away from all the girl drama outside of lunch."

Nick nodded and looked out at the field again. "Do girls say anything about you sitting with us?"

I looked out into the field, too. The crowd of people in the stadium cheered as number 13, which was David's friend Michael, made a touch down. I waited until the crowd simmered down to speak, "eh, some girls do. They always ask about you and David. You guys are like the hot topic in all my classes."

Nick looked at me with a puzzled look, "you're kidding, right?"

I shook my head, "nope. I'm being serious."

Nick gasped and raised both his eyebrows, "how come I can't ever get a girlfriend?"

I giggled, "I'm sure you will soon enough. There's tons of girls lined up... Just waiting to be yours."

"Nuh-uh. I'm sure they're all desperate. I'm looking for a girl who likes me for me, not just for my looks or body or anything, you know? I just want a girl to actually like me."

"I understand."

"Yeah. But, I don't think that'll happen any time soon," he quietly said. 

I looked down at my lap, "why's that?"

"Wanna take a drive?" Nick offered.

I looked around for a clear pathway. We were literally in the middle of the student section, and it wasn't going to be an easy predicament to get out of. 

 

By the time we got to Nick's car, it was half time. We only had about 40 minutes until we had to be back before the game was over. It was cold inside, and him having an older car, it was going to take a while for it to warm up inside.

"You know, I should be out with the team right now. I must've looked weird standing in the stadium with my jersey," Nick said chuckling and driving out of the parking lot.

"How come you weren't out there then?"

He turned the car out to the road that lead to the main part of the country. It seemed as if it was an endless stretch of farmland and road. It was nice though.

"Uh, well, I got out of it I guess? I asked coach if I could just stay up in the stadium to see what it would be like to actually watch. And since he knows about my length of time left in life-"

"Length of time left in life?" I cut in.

Nick sped the car up a bit. It started to get warmer inside. My eyes widened and I couldn't stop staring at him with my watery eyes.

He gulped and blinked a few times, "yeah. I have a limited amount of time left. The tumor is getting worse. I honestly should be in the hospital right now, but I requested to live my life and wish the best of it. I told them I didn't wanna be crammed in a bed and have to lay there all day, every day."

A tear streamed down my face. I wanted to bawl. But, not being the kind to cry in front of others, I stayed strong and wiped the tear away. I looked out the windshield and thought of what to say next. I was almost speechless.

"How much time do you have? If you don't mind me asking," I held my hands together so tight they started getting sweaty. It began to get hot in the car, but I didn't bother to say anything. I didn't know if he was still cold or not.

"Well, they're estimating about two or three months. Depends on if I stay in the hospital or not. Or if I take chemotherapy. Which I'm not going to. I have school to worry about and I wanna spend time with family and friends. I also don't wanna lose my hair," Nick laughed. You could hear the misery in his laugh. It wasn't a warming laugh, honestly.

"Wouldn't it just be better off if you stayed in the hospital, Nick? I know it'd be very miserable, but really..." I trailed off. I didn't know what else to say with out bursting into tears.

"Yeah, it would be better off. But that's not what I want. I honestly just wanna live, not lay in my death bed."

I nodded in slight agreement. "I just don't wanna lose you," I said with a soft, shaky voice.

That's when I broke. For once I cried in front of someone. The tears didn't stop and I was embarrassed, "oh God!" I said under my breath.

Nick pulled the car over and unbuckled. He scooted over on the bench seat to me and wrapped his arms around me, "please don't cry. I'm not worth your tears."

"Whatever!" I pushed him off of me and stared deeply into his eyes. He didn't understand how much he meant to me. "You've been my best friend since like kindergarten and we've been through a lot together! I don't like what you're going through, and I'm pretty sure you don't either! You're not being smart and I just-,"I paused to take a deep breath, "I don't know, Nick. I just don't wanna lose you. That's all."

"I know," his lips quivered and he looked away. I noticed a tear flow down his soft cheek, which only made more come down my cheeks. I felt bad for ruining the free spirited moment, but it was time to break down our emotions together.

"I'm sorry," I quietly said.

Nick rubbed his chin and shook his head. He erased the tear from his cheek and still looked out the windshield, "about what?"

"About everything. I didn't mean to make you cry or get into this subject," I began to cry more, but I kept it to myself by doing it silently.

He took a deep breath and looked at me, "don't be sorry, Stell."

I slightly smiled and cleared all the tears from both my cheeks. 

"Can I tell you a secret?" Nick asked.

"Of course," I smiled.

Nick took a deep, heavy, but steady breath. He sat back and relaxed a bit, while twiddling his thumbs. "So homecoming's coming up soon. Like, next Saturday," he began, "and I think I wanna ask a girl, but I don't know."

I laughed, "how's that a secret?"

"Well, 'cause... I don't know," he laughed, as well.

"Okay then?" I said scrunching my eyebrows together as my laugh began to fade away, but my smile was still there to stay.

"I like her, too. And have for a while now."

"Does she like you back?"

"That's the thing. I have no clue."

"Well, ask her."

"What if I'm scared to?"

"Why would you be scared?"

Nick chuckled. He shook his head, "because, I just am."

I hit his arm playfully and still smiled, "dude, grow a pair of balls and ask her to homecoming."

He started to laugh and looked into my eyes, "you're starting to sound like the guys. Should I be scared?"

"No," I giggled resting my hands in between my knees.

I looked out my window as things got silent. Wind was swiftly moving the leaves on trees and horses in the distance were prancing around a decent sized field. I felt comfortable and relaxed. I was glad we were off the