Why Me.? by Bianca Ramirez (good books to read txt) 📕

I'm completely in love with my ex still. I haven't forgotten. I hate her and I'm always pissing her off. Like to day she was being mean too my newly found friend. We became friends when I explained to her what happened because she said I kinda deserved being dumped. She wasn't being mean though, she's nice, short and sweet. 

So in 7th period I flipped off that bitch for yelling at my friend. She told the teachers and they asked me if I flipped her off. I lied and said No. They asked my newly found friend and like a good friend she lied and said that I didn't. Well I. Not sure if she saw me though. 

But me and her were walking to 8th period when the bell rang. We walked through the double doors to the other hall way, where there were 3 classrooms within. That bitch was waiting for me In the corner to pass her. As I walked passed she "attacked"

Well obviously she tried to somewhat jump me. Waiting for me to pass her while she was hiding in the corner, trying to get the slightest advantage.

She jumped kinda and grabbed my hair. I put my stuff down and turned around facing her while she tried to land a punch still pulling my hair. I grabbed hers and clawed her head. She wouldn't let go. I slammed her against a wall and tried to knee her in the face. I did but not hard enough.

Swinging her head around she didn't let go. Kids surrounded us and the team leader grabbed me as the principal grabbed her. As they pulled us apart she let go, I ripped her hair out. Like no bitch I'm not letting you go. The team leader held me until they took her away. I wrote an incident report. I saw with the vice principal so I said " Mañana mueres" ( tomorrow yo die). The last bell rang and i was escorted out of the building. I went to my car while the dean watched making sure no other problems were caused.

Its been awhile since any "activity" fights or arguments with that bitch. But other things have happened.

February the month of The famous Valentines day. Today the 12th my ex-boyfriend messaged me on Facebook for the first time, since we broke up in October 2013.

It was nervous causing. My hands were shaking, he said " Hi, can I talk to you.?" I was scared. I knew he wasn't going to ask me back out though, that's sucks.

But anyways he basically told me to get over him because I'm wasting my time. He said it in the nicest and sweetest way. I couldn't be mad or sad. I was just happy that he said something.He told me to tell that bitch not to talk to him on Facebook, in public or make eye contact. He made me laugh with that. We agreed that she's awful and that we hate her.

I shortly explained that I didn't and I'm sorry for everything that happened. He apologized too and told me to stay safe. He didn't say anything else. 

Well this bitch is starting with me again. It didnt get physical though, not yet. I haven't had my revenge yet. In 7th period today she walked in the class before it started,

looking like she wanted to cry.

She told her friends that her boyfriend was ignoring her and didn't want to talk to her. I walked by her a said " Heartbreak sucks doesn't it ". She turned around and started yelling at me. She called me a bitch.

But I was standing there laughing at her. It sucks when you're the one being heartbroken huh.? Stupid bitch. The guidance counselor came and took her, then came back for me. She sat in her office satingf what happened. She was trying to get me in trouble.

It didn't work. She was the one being yelled at by the guidance counselor that she makes a problem out of nothing and she has zero people skills.

She also told her she will grow up and have no friends, and have alot of problems in highschool. I was trying not to laugh. It was so funny. The counselor escorted us back to class, I walked in laughing. My 7th period teacher moved my seat. But I don't care. New seat was concentrating loneliness. 

My 7th period teacher made me stay a few minutes after class to avoid a fight in the hall again. My tall friend walked with me like a body guard. She asked me if I could tell her what happened the day she started the rumor.

I explained, painful details, and was in a bad mood after. I hate talking about it.

It hurts. It was only 8 days...but guess what I don't care. I was crushing on him since September 9, 2013. I fell in love with in October 2013. No one understands the pain I feel thy e sadness that fills my heart. Or the sorrow that fucks with my mind. I love him. Whether he loves me or not. It sucks because I know he doesn't love me. He made it very clear. & it hurts but, Hey shit happens. I can't even be mad that we broke up, like I should have did something but I curled up in a fetal position and I cried. That day I cried myself to sleep. Tears came like a damn waterfall. The tears never stopped. When I think of it now I don't cry a waterfall, only a tear or two roll down my cheek, still filled with pain and sorrow. I feel the pain when I remember. I feel broken and destroyed like I'm unable to love anyone else. Stuck. I guess I'm okay with that, I know I can't wait forever but it it'll take forever then I'll wait. I see him and I smile, then I remember. All flashbacks fill my eyes with tears. One by one rolling down my cheek filled with pain. The pain I can't bare anymore. I can't sleep. I can't think. I can't do anything without the thought of him being once mine running through me. Every thought making me burst out in tears, screaming in pain as if I was stabbed in the heart several times. It's to the extent where I can actually the pain, coming out of my thoughts through my eyes. It mocks me. It kills me, I may be smiling around him like I don't give one single fuck about what happened but inside I'm completely broken, and slowly dying, I can't take the pain off losi g his this way. Why did this happen to me and him.? I don't know. I wish it didn't. I wish I could take back every stupid mistake I've made, and anything I could have don't to end up suffering like this. Does anyone know how long its been since I was in his arms.? Since we went out.? Since he felt the same way.? Since I fell in love with him.? With his face, his eyes, his voice, his smile, yeas his braces too. All his flaws and Imperfections.? I don't care if he's not perfect. To me he is, and I couldn't of found anyone more perfect. I see all his good and bad, it makes me love him more. If he knew how much he means to me maybe he'd love me again. Or at least start to like me again. I love him so much. It hurts that he doesn't know and doesn't feel the same way. If I told him how I feel what would he think.? That I'm crazy.? Obsessed.? A liar.? Thirsty.? I know he won't believe me if I told him how much he means to me. 

The one and only person I blame for ruining everything is that dumb fucking bitch. She better not of forgotten that I haven't fucked her up yet. She doesn't get to be happy ever. She. She did this to me.