Drunken Love by Que Son (red scrolls of magic .TXT) 📕

Adam also saw the hopelessness of the situation. He agreed that they would have to cut down on the frequency of their communication and would eventually stop it all together. Both had different lives to live and there was no way they could be together no matter how much they loved. So the days after that email from Eve, Adam stopped calling her, and did not write to her everyday anymore, even though he checked his emails frequently to see if there was anything from her and he found that she also wrote less, and when she did, her messages were not as emotional as before. She wasn't saying she missed him or wanted to have him near her, to hug and kiss him, to stroke his hair, to share a cigarette with him. What she wrote was now matter-of-factly and short and the emails were few and far between.

Chapter Seven

Shakespeare is happy that Adam and Eve have met even though at the end of the day there were sadness and tears. At the beginning, which was only yesterday evening, he was determined to reunite the lovers, and he has done that. Now what's next? Is this the end? And what kind of ending is this? Shakespeare asks himself. The reunion may be just one short chapter, but a significant development of the 30-year love affair. There might be more to come, but what? They have had the happiest day of their life, and now they were back to their separate lives, to the their own daily concerns, to the bills, the rent, the mortgage, the wife, the husband and the children. But they might still have a long time to live, at least 20 years for each of them. What are they going to do with all that time as lovers? Are they going to walk on parallel lines again?

While at the motel with Eve, overwhelmed with happiness and love, Adam said to her that they should meet at least once a year as long as they were still alive, but she had no reaction to the suggestion, she seemed not to be very enthusiastic about that idea, even cold to it, even tried to ignore it. And when he pressed the issue, she was forced to say that she would see him again only when he had become a "success." For Eve, this reunion might be the last. Eve did not feel she should continue. She had wanted to see him one more time, and she did, and that was good enough. She did not expect a drawn out secret affair with Adam. She did not want it. For Adam, he one thing he had learned about Eve since they re-contacted was that she whenever she talked about a person she always mentioned whether or not that person "makes a lot of money." That led him to suspect that she respected people who made a lot of money and looked down on those who didn't. He felt dismayed at the thought. He was worse than poor because he not only had no money, he didn't have the means and the skills, not even the motivation to make money. For him, not lacking is good enough. One time, before their meeting and when he was talking about buying her something for her to remember him by, she was shocked to find out he was so poor that he did not have enough money to buy her a platinum neck chain. He said all he could afford was sterling silver. The disappointment had also caused her to cry when they were together in the motel room on the day of their reunion. Eve could not look past the fact that Adam was a loser, and she was hurt, because she loved him and wanted him to succeed in life, and by success she meant having a lot of money. Adam tried to comfort her by saying he would buy her what she wanted in the future when he had money and his circumstances improved. The love she had for him now was perhaps left over from the day she fell in love with him when she was still young and naive. It is a long lasting love. But it was just that: love. Through tribulations of life, Eve had become a practical and calculating woman who measured a man's worth by how much money he had or could make. And in this regard, Adam was not within her field of vision. He was not her kind of man. Adam was too much of an artist and a dreamer for her tastes. He did not seem to belong to this world. She had met him and made love with him because she loved and missed him. And that--was all. She might even think, now that she was more mature and experienced, that she had loved the wrong man, even though she could blame that on her adolescent stupidity. That might be why she refused to think about seeing him again in the future after the reunion. What for, she asked herself. She had wished she could see him once again and she did. Her wish as been fulfilled; and there was no need to go beyond that.

Shakespeare ponders what he is going to do next. At the beginning of the project, he wanted to bring a happy ending to the story, but as things stand now, the possibility of a happy ending seems nil. There has been at least a happy episode, however: the lovers had met again. After the reunion, if they went their own ways with no prospect of future meetings, not an attempt to carry out a secret affair, it is because Eve did not want to continue. Then there is no real ending to the story. The lovers would just disappear again from each other's life and add another 20 or 27 years to the separation. Shakespeare feels that this is the worst possible ending of all. But choices are limited.

Shakespeare stands up slowly from his bed and paces the room again. It is 15 steps from one end of the room to another. The air in the room is cold and he is breathing steam. The light of the day is getting brighter outside the half-window, and the street is quiet. It is still too early in the morning and it is New Year’s Day. Shakespeare feels very tired and wants to lie down and sleep, but he cannot do that before he finishes the story, and besides, he has almost reached the end.

Eve was not committed enough--or perhaps not crazy enough?-- to cooperate with Adam in any scheme he might have concerning their future, or at least the future of the affair. Adam had only a wife and no children, no family to take care of. Jane was an independent woman and could take care of herself. Even though he felt committed to Jane because they had been together for too long, there was no economic or legal barrier to prevent him from leaving her. But for Eve it was not so simple. She had two children and parents to take care of and a mortgage to pay and she could not do it alone without the help of her husband. She was trapped, and could not break out even if she wanted to. But did Eve, with all the love she professed to have for him, want a life, or what remained of it, with Adam? She could run off with Adam, if the desire was strong enough. She might have the desire or she might not. If she did not have the desire, there was nothing to say. But if she had, she seemed determined to fight it. Her husband was a "success," making a lot of money, according to her--while Adam was not. So the choice for her was clear. She did not have the enthusiasm for a life with Adam. He was a world-class loser.

Shakespeare feels that the more he delves into the mind of Eve, the clearer he sees his way to the conclusion of the story. It will be a conclusion which does not seem like a conclusion at all. The story would just end suddenly like a stone thrown into a still lake, it makes some ripples, then quickly returns to silence as if nothing has happened. There will be no dramatic end. Instead, it will be tasteless, boring, hollow, and lukewarm. The lovers will just stop communication and forget about each other, and all will become like the last 27 years. Perhaps they would still think about one another everyday, but it would be just that: thoughts and feelings. Shakespeare evaluates the merit of this ending and feels that it would be so, unless something dramatic happens, such as Eve and her husband divorce for some reason--they have threatened to do that many times. But this is very unlikely. The husband may want to leave her for some reason, he knows that Eve never loves him. But Eve would not leave. Adam's situation, on the other hand is much less complex: he could leave Jane if he needs to. Shakespeare feels that he is confronted with impossible choices. Adam and Eve separate again after a brief reunion is a sad ending. Adam and Eve run off together and leave their families behind is another sad ending because both will be racked with guilt and unable to fully enjoy their happiness. Besides, there is no guarantee that even though they are passionate lovers, they would be good husband and wife. And if the pain of separation is too much that they lose their minds and commit suicide, it is definitely a sad ending: their story would just be another version of Romeo and Juliet. So accept the separation and live with it for the rest of their life may be the only possible solution. And even though separation is painful, at least the physical distance may help them preserve the memories and maintain the love, as they have done after the first separation.

Shakespeare looks out the window and sees the bright daylight. The snow has stopped falling. It is just another day even though people mark it as the beginning of a "new year." But for Shakespeare, nothing is different, except it is a day off. Thinking about the story of Adam and Eve, he feels the same way about the day: same shit like Romeo and Juliet, just different setting. The parting of the lovers this time may be for good, and it may just be the death of both, in a symbolic way. Circumstances beyond their control keeps Romeo and Juliet away from each other, and circumstances also do the same to Adam and Eve. The tragedy of Romeo and Juliet ends in their physical deaths, and whether or not they reunite in the next life is a question without an answer. Same thing with Adam and Eve. Even though they are still alive, they might as well be dead, simply because they don't have each other. They live in two different worlds, they have debts to pay to people around them, obligations and duties, and time is needed to pay off the debts, especially Eve. Adam's life with Jane is also a form of debt. How many times he has tried to run away, to end it with