Essays On Education And Kindred Subjects (Fiscle Part- 11) by Herbert Spencer (best fiction novels to read TXT) 📕

To It.

Thus Is It, Too, With Social Usages. We Read Of    The   Chinese That They

Have "Ponderous Ceremonies Transmitted From Time Immemorial," Which Make

Social Intercourse A Burden. The   Court Forms Prescribed By Monarchs For

Their Own Exaltation, Have, In All Times And Places, Ended In Consuming

The Comfort Of    Their Lives. And So The   Artificial Observances Of    The

Dining-Room And Saloon, In Proportion As They Are Many And Strict,

Extinguish That Agreeable Communion Which They Were Originally Intended

To Secure. The   Dislike With Which People Commonly Speak Of    Society That

Is "Formal," And "Stiff," And "Ceremonious," Implies The   General

Recognition Of    This Fact; And This Recognition, Logically Developed,

Involves That All Usages Of    Behaviour Which Are Not Based On Natural

Requirements, Are Injurious. That These Conventions Defeat Their Own

Ends Is No New Assertion. Swift, Criticising The   Manners Of    His Day,

Says--"Wise Men Are Often More Uneasy At The   Over-Civility Of    These

Refiners Than They Could Possibly Be In The   Conversation Of    Peasants And

Mechanics."

But It Is Not Only In These Details That The   Self-Defeating Action Of

Our Arrangements Is Traceable: It Is Traceable In The   Very Substance And

Nature Of    Them. Our Social Intercourse, As Commonly Managed, Is A Mere

Semblance Of    The   Reality Sought. What Is It That We Want? Some

Sympathetic Converse With Our Fellow-Creatures: Some Converse That Shall

Not Be Mere Dead Words, But The   Vehicle Of    Living Thoughts And

Feelings--Converse In Which The   Eyes And The   Face Shall Speak, And The

Tones Of    The   Voice Be Full Of    Meaning--Converse Which Shall Make Us Feel

No Longer Alone, But Shall Draw Us Closer To Another, And Double Our Own

Emotions By Adding Another's To Them. Who Is There That Has Not, From

Time To Time, Felt How Cold And Flat Is All This Talk About Politics And

Science, And The   New Books And The   New Men, And How A Genuine Utterance

Of Fellow-Feeling Outweighs The   Whole Of    It? Mark The   Words Of

Bacon:--"For A Crowd Is Not A Company, And Faces Are But A Gallery Of

Pictures, And Talk But A Tinkling Cymbal, Where There Is No Love."

If This Be True, Then It Is Only After Acquaintance Has Grown Into

Intimacy, And Intimacy Has Ripened Into Friendship, That The   Real

Communion Which Men Need Becomes Possible. A Rationally-Formed Circle

Must Consist Almost Wholly Of    Those On Terms Of    Familiarity And Regard,

With But One Or Two Strangers. What Folly, Then, Underlies The   Whole

System Of    Our Grand Dinners, Our "At Homes," Our Evening

Parties--Assemblages Made Up Of    Many Who Never Met Before, Many Others

Who Just Bow To Each Other, Many Others Who Though Familiar Feel Mutual

Indifference, With Just A Few Real Friends Lost In The   General Mass! You

Need But Look Round At The   Artificial Expressions Of    Face, To See At

Once How It Is. All Have Their Disguises On; And How Can There Be

Sympathy Between Masks? No Wonder That In Private Every One Exclaims

Against The   Stupidity Of    These Gatherings. No Wonder That Hostesses Get

Them Up Rather Because They Must Than Because They Wish. No Wonder That

The Invited Go Less From The   Expectation Of    Pleasure Than From Fear Of

Giving Offence. The   Whole Thing Is A Gigantic Mistake--An Organised

Disappointment.

And Then Note, Lastly, That In This Case, As In All Others, When An

Organisation Has Become Effete And Inoperative For Its Legitimate

Purpose, It Is Employed For Quite Other Ones--Quite Opposite Ones. What

Is The   Usual Plea Put In For Giving And Attending These Tedious

Assemblies? "I Admit That They Are Stupid And Frivolous Enough," Replies

Every Man To Your Criticisms; "But Then, You Know, One Must Keep Up

One's Connections." And Could You Get From His Wife A Sincere Answer, It

Would Be--"Like You, I Am Sick Of    These Frivolities; But Then, We Must

Get Our Daughters Married." The   One Knows That There Is A Profession To

Push, A Practice To Gain, A Business To Extend: Or Parliamentary

Influence, Or County Patronage, Or Votes, Or Office, To Be Got:

Position, Berths, Favours, Profit. The   Other's Thoughts Run Upon

Husbands And Settlements, Wives And Dowries. Worthless For Their

Ostensible Purpose Of    Daily Bringing Human Beings Into Pleasurable

Relations With Each Other, These Cumbrous Appliances Of    Our Social

Intercourse Are Now Perseveringly Kept In Action With A View To The

Pecuniary And Matrimonial Results Which They Indirectly Produce.

Who Then Shall Say That The   Reform Of    Our System Of    Observances Is

Unimportant? When We See How This System Induces Fashionable

Extravagance, With Its Entailed Bankruptcy And Ruin--When We Mark How

Greatly It Limits The   Amount Of    Social Intercourse Among The   Less

Wealthy Classes--When We Find That Many Who Most Need To Be Disciplined

By Mixing With The   Refined Are Driven Away By It, And Led Into

Dangerous And Often Fatal Courses--When We Count Up The   Many Minor Evils

It Inflicts, The   Extra Work Which Its Costliness Entails On All

Professional And Mercantile Men, The   Damage To Public Taste In Dress And

Decoration By The   Setting Up Of    Its Absurdities As Standards For

Imitation, The   Injury To Health Indicated In The   Faces Of    Its Devotees

At The   Close Of    The   London Season, The   Mortality Of    Milliners And The

Like, Which Its Sudden Exigencies Yearly Involve;--And When To All These

We Add Its Fatal Sin, That It Blights, Withers Up, And Kills, That High

Enjoyment It Professedly Ministers To--That Enjoyment Which Is A Chief

End Of    Our Hard Struggling In Life To Obtain--Shall We Not Conclude That

To Reform Our System Of    Etiquette And Fashion, Is An Aim Yielding To Few

In Urgency?

There Needs, Then, A Protestantism In Social Usages. Forms That Have

Ceased To Facilitate And Have Become Obstructive--Whether Political,

Religious, Or Other--Have Ever To Be Swept Away; And Eventually Are So

Swept Away In All Cases. Signs Are Not Wanting That Some Change Is At

Hand. A Host Of    Satirists, Led On By Thackeray, Have Been For Years

Engaged In Bringing Our Sham-Festivities, And Our Fashionable Follies,

Into Contempt; And In Their Candid Moods, Most Men Laugh At The

Frivolities With Which They And The   World In General Are Deluded.

Ridicule Has Always Been A Revolutionary Agent. That Which Is Habitually

Assailed With Sneers And Sarcasms Cannot Long Survive. Institutions That

Have Lost Their Roots In Men's Respect And Faith Are Doomed; And The   Day

Of Their Dissolution Is Not Far Off. The   Time Is Approaching, Then, When

Our System Of    Social Observances Must Pass Through Some Crisis, Out Of

Which It Will Come Purified And Comparatively Simple.

How This Crisis Will Be Brought About, No One Can With Any Certainty

Say. Whether By The   Continuance And Increase Of    Individual Protests, Or

Whether By The   Union Of    Many Persons For The   Practice And Propagation Of

Some Better System, The   Future Alone Can Decide. The   Influence Of

Dissentients Acting Without Co-Operation, Seems, Under The   Present State

Of Things, Inadequate. Standing Severally Alone, And Having No

Well-Defined Views; Frowned On By Conformists, And Expostulated With

Even By Those Who Secretly Sympathise With Them; Subject To Petty

Persecutions, And Unable To Trace Any Benefit Produced By Their Example;

They Are Apt, One By One, To Give Up Their Attempts As Hopeless. The

Young Convention-Breaker Eventually Finds That He Pays Too Heavily For

His Nonconformity. Hating, For Example, Everything That Bears About It

Any Remnant Of    Servility, He Determines, In The   Ardour Of    His

Independence, That He Will Uncover To No One. But What He Means Simply

As A General Protest, He Finds That Ladies Interpret Into A Personal

Disrespect. Though He Sees That, From The   Days Of    Chivalry Downwards,

These Marks Of    Supreme Consideration Paid To The   Other Sex Have Been But

A Hypocritical Counterpart To The   Actual Subjection In Which Men Have

Held Them--A Pretended Submission To Compensate For A Real Domination;

And Though He Sees That When The   True Dignity Of    Women Is Recognised,

The Mock Dignities Given To Them Will Be Abolished; Yet He Does Not Like

To Be Thus Misunderstood, And So Hesitates In His Practice.

In Other Cases, Again, His Courage Fails Him. Such Of    His

Unconventionalities As Can Be Attributed Only To Eccentricity, He Has No

Qualms About: For, On The   Whole, He Feels Rather Complimented Than

Otherwise In Being Considered A Disregarder Of    Public Opinion. But When

They Are Liable To Be Put Down To Ignorance, To Ill-Breeding, Or To

Poverty, He Becomes A Coward. However Clearly The   Recent Innovation Of

Eating Some Kinds Of    Fish With Knife And Fork Proves The   Fork-And-Bread

Practice To Have Had Little But Caprice For Its Basis, Yet He Dares Not

Wholly Ignore That Practice While Fashion Partially Maintains It. Though

He Thinks That A Silk Handkerchief Is Quite As Appropriate For

Drawing-Room Use As A White Cambric One, He Is Not Altogether At Ease In

Acting Out His Opinion. Then, Too, He Begins To Perceive That His

Resistance To Prescription Brings Round Disadvantageous Results Which He

Had Not Calculated Upon. He Had Expected That It Would Save Him From A

Great Deal Of    Social Intercourse Of    A Frivolous Kind--That It Would

Offend The   Fools, But Not The   Sensible People; And So Would Serve As A

Self-Acting Test By Which Those Worth Knowing Would Be Separated From

Those Not Worth Knowing. But The   Fools Prove To Be So Greatly In The

Majority That, By Offending Them, He Closes Against Himself Nearly All

The Avenues Though Which The   Sensible People Are To Be Reached. Thus He

Finds, That His Nonconformity Is Frequently Misinterpreted; That There

Are But Few Directions In Which He Dares To Carry It Consistently Out;

That The   Annoyances And Disadvantages Which It Brings Upon Him Are

Greater Than He Anticipated; And That The   Chances Of    His Doing Any Good

Are Very Remote. Hence He Gradually Loses Resolution, And Lapses, Step

By Step, Into The   Ordinary Routine Of    Observances.

Abortive As Individual Protests Thus Generally Turn Out, It May Possibly

Be That Nothing Effectual Will Be Done Until There Arises Some Organised

Resistance To This Invisible Despotism, By Which Our Modes And Habits

Are Dictated. It May Happen, That The   Government Of    Manners And Fashion

Will Be Rendered Less Tyrannical, As The   Political And Religious

Governments Have Been, By Some Antagonistic Union. Alike In Church And

State, Men's First Emancipations From Excess Of    Restriction Were

Achieved By Numbers, Bound Together By A Common Creed Or A Common

Political Faith. What Remained Undone While There Were But Individual

Schismatics Or Rebels, Was Effected When There Came To Be Many Acting In

Concert. It Is Tolerably Clear That These Earliest Instalments Of

Freedom Could Not Have Been Obtained In Any Other Way; For So Long As

The Feeling Of    Personal Independence Was Weak And The   Rule Strong, There

Could Never Have Been A Sufficient Number Of    Separate Dissentients To

Produce The   Desired Results. Only In These Later Times, During Which The

Secular And Spiritual Controls Have Been Growing Less Coercive, And The

Tendency Towards Individual Liberty Greater, Has It Become Possible For

Smaller And Smaller Sects And Parties To Fight Against Established

Creeds And Laws; Until Now Men May Safely Stand Even Alone In Their

Antagonism.

The Failure Of    Individual Nonconformity To Customs, As Above

Illustrated, Suggests That An Analogous Series Of    Changes May Have To Be

Gone Through In This Case Also. It Is True That The   _Lex Non Scripta_

Differs From The   _Lex Scripta_