Possession by Laila Ali (best authors to read txt) 📕

"I am not sure if I have it in myself but the day I believe I can trust you I will come to you willingly and try to work out this marriage, I just need some time ."

"Fair enough" he said and those were the last amount of words they shared and went back to his mansion.

Zahra did her night routine and sat on the bed in his bedroom as he had asked to her to say in his room for couple of days. Irtaza had left for some work after dropping her. She sat there all alone, the conversation she had with him in the evening troubled her .

What is it about you that makes my heart feel more afraid than loved? She thought remembering the look of his grey orbs.

She looked invariably at the gloomy sky, the chaos in her head perturbed her. She sat in silence and allowed her hear to make all the noise. With sunset, as darkness overpowered light, deep sleep overpowered her restless soul.

The next day she woke to an empty bed around nine in the morning, collected her dupatta and went downstairs to find maids and other servants engrossed in their daily tasks.

"Good morning mam, should I arrange the breakfast on the table?" asked one of the maid coming out of the kitchen.

"Um.. no ..not yet. Do you know where is Irtaza?" Zahra asked

"Sir came late at night and left early today due to work"

"Ok. Thanks" she replied with a smaile and went back to her room, getting ready for her university.

Days and nights kept passing. Both of them had not encountered each other since that evening. She felt lonely in the magnificent mansion which could provide all the material pleasures one can desire but did nothing to fill the vacuum in her broken, fragile heart. But she had become quite familiar with feelings of loneliness, anxiousness from the day she stepped into her grandfather's haveli .

She had fallen apart, faced repercussions of her decisions, probably more than she deserved and strangely got more solid and habituated her with pain. But now what she was feeling were the feelings of longings towards him. Both of them had become a part of each others existence and his sudden disappearance made her think about him more and more. She had no one to express her vulnerable state other than him .

This is the thing about unsolicited love, its like the sunshine that you seldom appreciate but its absence leaves you in despair.

He had kept his distance from her, he made sure that he avoided so that his absence buys her enough time to find herself, collect her thoughts. He made sure he wasn't around when she is at home and allocated a driver to pick and drop her from university. 

The night before he was supposed to leave he wanted to see her properly. So he came home at the time when he knew she would be sound asleep. He entered the room slowly when his eyes fell on sleeping beauty curled up in a ball he stood still for a moment and kept looking at her , mesmerised by her beauty but more precisely by the innocence that radiated from her.

A still night it seemed, an eerie cold breeze skulled across the room, pitter patter of rain outside, could be heard. This beat resonated with the pounding in his chest, his hands clenched, shoulders hunched, trying so hard not to hold her .

He lightly sat beside her, her back facing him and sighed, his shoulders slumped.

After her answer that day, he was sure, she will never be falling in love with him ever again. Divorce was the only option left now. He was making himself acquanited to live without her presence. So far, he came to knew, how passionate she was about her emotions. They were so intense and unwavering. Any person having her in there life would be so lucky. He couldn't ignore the fact, she loved Daniyal. And she had surpassed all the limits only to get him. This was the proof itself how much potent she was about her feelings and emotions. And still trying to win her heart, would be like to fight a lost battle. He had already given up on her.

"Its true what Dua told you, I indeed loved you since childhood .Zahra. I'm sorry for everything I did or said to you ever, but you tell me senorita when you waited for someone all your life and that person betrays you, treat your emotions like shit, what would one feel? I was filled with rage and went into a dark, sadistic place where wanted you to feel the same burn, same pain that I felt." He said in a low baritone. His throat was constricting as his gaze became glassy. 

"I forced you into marriage, my need to possess you became my prime goal. Buts it's important to realise that everything you love is not yours to keep" he scoffed "My one and only madness was to make you mine, make you smile and hold your hands till eternity. I remember seeing the footage of you with that bastard which set my whole being to fire. I was determined to make your life a living hell but everytime your tears, your screams drenched in misery pained my heart to the core." his eyes closed as he took in a deep breath. It was the first time of his life he was so vulnerable. It was probably one of the last moments of his life he'd be seeing her.

"You don't owe me reasons anymore, I owe myself some. Nothing can justify my actions and it kills me everytime I see fear, distrust in your eyes for me. The moments when I held you close enough for our breaths to synchronise, I knew I was suffocating you. My love is transparent enough for you to see but opaque enough for you to feel " his voice held sadness

"Thats why I have made up mind to let you go because I care about you, I really do. I don't want to be selfish anymore. I want to win you over. Your answer that day was a proof itself, you'll never be able to love me. You're like a burning sun Zahra, a very passionate and enthusiastic person when it comes to emotion. I know you can't love easily. When I'll come back, my senorita, I'll leave you, I'll set you free. Maybe you are made for anyone but me." His tonality dangerously serious.