My Darkest Desires by James Thomas (historical books to read TXT) 📕

My stepdad was eating breakfast. I walked up behind him and put my arms around his neck and snuggled my head against him. I then let go and went around to eat my breakfast, after making sure he had a fresh cup of coffee. After a few moments he instinctively rubbed the back of his head to be sure his hair was still smooth, his eyes never leaving the paper.

Last night i had my room and gone into his, climbing into bed with my dad. He had a big queen size bed like mine, and as i lay there, quiet, I touched his feet with mine. He didn't seem to mind, at first, but he then moved his feet away. I listened to the sound of him breathing for a little bit, before returning reluctantly to my own room.

My name is Jessica Roberts, and i am nineteen. Despite the fact i go to college, i live at home with my dad. Dad and I get along good; it’s just really lonely without my mom around, who died years before, when i was about twelve. I always made sure i gave dad as many hugs and pecks as i could, and whenever dad seemed really upset, i would hold him tight. I remember once when i casually I might look for an apartment of my own and he almost died. He hid it but I could tell. Dad didn't want to be alone, but he wasn't looking to find someone else.

I wasn't trying to get him in the sack. He was already in the sack. I was trying to get in there with him. Well, no I wasn't. That wasn't it. What it was is he had no companionship, so I thought he probably took care of his personal needs himself. So - I thought if he had a mental connection with a female - it might be more satisfying to him when he did take care of it himself. Yes. That was it exactly.

I’m not gonna lie, i had personal needs too. However I wasn't ready to go down to the firehouse and shout it out yet. I didn't particularly need a mental connection, I do just fine all by myself. Sometimes I do a great job all by myself. Every now and then it gets to be a spectacular great job all by myself - when daddy isn't home, but I'm not telling about those.

I thought about telling him what I wanted to do, but I doubt it would have made a difference. He would be watching for it and out would come his sword and shield. Well, shield anyways. His sword was the problem. I had a nice smile at that one, and it surprised myself sometimes.

One day while we were walking down the street shopping, I reached over and held his hand. He let me for a long time, but later that evening he said, "Jess, I'm a little uncomfortable holding your hand. It doesn't seem right."

I said, "Yes, I know dad. That's why I'm doing it. You've told me many times I remind you of mom. I'm not trying to replace her and you're not trying to treat me like her but sometimes if we're a little closer it might remind you more of her when you need her. I thought it might help and I don't mind and kind of like it sometimes. Maybe we could miss her together in some ways."

Now, there is no way a man could possibly figure that out or possibly find a way to respond and make any sense of it at all. He would have to accept whatever it means because it absolutely means everything and nothing at all. Thus I was free to pursue any avenue I wanted to. It was pure genius, like saying, "Are you sure you don't want me to stop not doing what I'm not doing again."

The next evening I put on my thickest pjs and thickest robe, went over and sat up against one of his pillows reading while he took a shower. He came back and immediately went back into the bathroom. I think he wasn't dressed, but I didn't look. He came back in pjs and climbed in bed, at which point I said, "Night dad," and went off to my own bed.

The next night I repeated it, but with my robe hanging undone. The following night I made sure to leave the robe lying alongside me. The next night he didn't take a shower and was in bed, so I said  goodnight from the door. Then I just wore pjs watching a show late in the evening with him. He was comfortable with that. I had put on a sleep bra so he wouldn't see jiggling boobs, and then decide to go to bed early (defeating my plans).

Finally I got a break. I had finished up the kitchen early, changed and went into the den. Dad was sitting up, coughing a little. I immediately smelled sex. He could easily hear me finishing up and going to my bedroom and coming back. I reached over the back of the sofa and gave him a hug. He put his hands on mine and pressed, and was acting nervous for a while.

When he went to bed, I stood and said, "I'll be up in a few minutes dad."

He said, "Ok."

I went up to my room and grabbed something, before heading into my dad’s room. I then climbed into the bed and turned out the light on my side. I said, "Could you turn out your light please and face the other way and don't say anything. Nothing at all." He did, and I turned away from him. I slid back until our bottoms touched. I reached over and handed him a condom, and could hear his breath catch when he realized what it was.

"Jess," he said, "I can't."

"I know," I said. "You're not going to. That's for you, not me. Pay attention to what you're doing please." I reached my hands back and pulled his pj bottoms down around his knees, maybe a little lower. He let me. I could tell when he pulled them out so they would go down. I waited.

He was quiet at first, but then I felt him moving a little, and then moving differently. He kept going like that and I said, "Enjoy yourself. Don't stop." I pushed my pjs down around my knees and rubbed my bare ass against his own. He didn't stop moving. Some time went by, so i assumed he was getting into a groove with the situation and starting to let it work.

After a while, he got active and I tried not to do anything more, but he had an orgasm nonetheless, and from the sounds of it, a long one too. After he settled down, I felt him take off the condom and calm down more. He reached over and held my hand and later, after he fell asleep, I went to my bedroom. I didn't look at his body, tempting as it was. There would be time for that later.

I let things go for about a week, so he could think about it. We did hold hands more when out, and I wore a sleep bra sometimes so he would feel something was different.

The following Monday night I got a condom and went over again. Same setup: gave him the condom, pulled down our pajamas. He rustled around a little and then his hand came back over me and he handed me something - it was a little silver vibrator. I turned it on and was pleasantly surprised.

He got started and I lifted a leg. I then planted my foot and turned the vibrator on. I immediately went right to my clit, and had two orgasms to his one. He settled down, turned over and wrapped my arms around his waist. His pj bottoms were still down as were mine, but at that point i could care less. I got his ass right into my saddle and fucking loved it. About ten minutes went by before I headed to my own bed, my bottoms in my hand.

The next day was normal. We didn't mention it but he smiled more and was more interactive and lively. I don't think I've seen him like that in a long time. Whatever he needed he was getting. I was thinking of ways to expand it without alarming him.

I kept the vibrator and we enjoyed each other four more times like that before i shyly asked if he might like to get the type of condoms he preferred, when he smiled and said, 'sure, thank you.'

He was still distance most of the time, and i think it was due in part to the fact that he wanted to be more personable with me, but didn't know how. I was looking for ways to be more intimate - not necessarily lovers, just intimate. Frankly, I wanted to play with his cock - which would be my very first - for a while. I thought maybe he could play with me and I could play with him. His orgasms would be better and mine too. It wasn't rocket science.

I didn't make a habit of going over to his bedroom in the evenings, just every now and then. As much as I thought he could tolerate. The next time I went over I snuggled up to him and said, "Dad. Thanks for letting me come over every so often. Sex is very exciting for me right now and I really don't want to go out looking for my first guy.

"I'm also trying to fill a need for you. There's a lot of ways we can be more intimate without being more intimate. I'm willing to try a few mind boggling things if you can teach me."

We stayed that way a few moments before he took his bottoms off and i did the same. He moved around a little, reaching over and taking my hand. He then pulled it over and wrapped it around his dick. I raised my head off the pillow, mouth fully open and eyes about to pop out of my head. I couldn't believe that I had a dick. In my hand. It felt plastic, which meant he had his condom on.

It was so….alive. The damn thing moved in my hand. I played with it and finally found out where all the parts were. He thrust up through my hand. I could hardly keep from throwing a leg over his hip. My other hand was useless but I didn't want it to separate my clit from his ass so I left my clit alone.

After a while he put his hand over mine, which was still over his dick. My hand was around a dick, a real one - not a toy...i couldn't believe it. He started to move my hand up and down. I realized that he was teaching me how to jack him off - not the porn kind, the real kind. He then took his hand and my hand off, only to reverse them. This time his hand was on the bottom, and i followed his movements with my own hand over his. His movements altered between faster and slower, before he let go and i took