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I felt a small comfort in this. I know I shouldn't feel so alone but I knew even if I was in a room full of people I would feel the same. Chapter Five

 Awakenings 

 

Sit up. Breathe. In. Out. You. Are. Okay.

 

Breathe in. Breathe out. You are okay.

 

In. Out. I'm okay.

 

In out. Okay.

 

I don't know how long I practiced this martyr before I was once again breathing automatically. But I did know that I was now surrounded in darkness, a little snore came from my lap. Okay, sky you need to grab your bags. Great. Now you need to stand up. On unsteady legs I stood looking around confused. What do I do now? I asked myself. Okay, look down at the floor. Looking down all I saw was a slight dirt track filled with pebbles and sticks.

 

One step forward.

 

And another.

 

Walking became eaiser much like breathing I didn't need to concentrate on it so much. Instead my mind was full of; stick, stone, leaf, mud, stone, muddy stone, random black object, stone that nearly breaks my ankle, little baby leaf, bigger leaf... It was boring and simple.

 

This was exactly why I hiked. The only sound I could hear was the scraping of my feet. On unsteady feet I found my way to the footpath leading home. The marker that meant I couldn't drive any closer. Ten minuets now. This path was different, more trees covered my overhead lighting thus leaving me partly blind. Keep walking Skylar. You can do this. Home is near. I nodded to myself picking up the pace. Nothing bothered me. Nothing at all, well that was untill the cottage came into view. The door ajar, robbed already? I thought confused looking at the rub down building. Hmm.

 

Slowly approaching the door I peered in. Nothing. 'Go see.' I told Sasha standing back at the door. She walked in sniffed around and wagged her tail. Sitting at the bottom of the stairs she waited. Mason, the only other person she actually liked. Of course. Pulling out my phone I checked the time, I had been out for almost three hours. An hour there, half an hour in store and a hell of a time after. 'Missin someone?' I texted Liam, knowing his number off by heart. 'Sky?' He asked instantly texting me back. I pressed dial after staring at his text for a whole ten seconds. He picked up on the first ring, poised. 'Hes here.' Was all I said, broken off by the whoosh of air leaving his lungs. 'Hes been gone for an hour where have you been?' He asked with a passive tone. 'I needed to think.' Lie. All a lie. 'I'm sorry.' He said after I'd been sorry for a couple of seconds. 'Me too.' I replied walking back outside. It was way too cold in there, I needed firewood.

 

The door opened with a whoosh, placing my phone on my shoulder I bent to pick kindling and fallen logs (well mostly large sticks). 'Are you sending someone to pick him up? Shall I feed him?' I asked juggling the wood. 'No.' Was all he replied. 'Parden?' I asked unsure. 'I trust you. And he's where he wants to be. And no he's been fed.' He replied sounding tired. 'Shall I drop him off before the f-funeral?' I asked stuttering like a school girl with a crush. 'No, its fine we'll come and pick you up. We were planning on going anyway, if that's okay?' He asked sounding unsure. 'That would be great thankyou.' I said, a little bit of Mason cuddling was all I needed right now. Placing the wood in the fire and my bags on the table I began getting ready. Placing the food in the fridge, leaving the cleaning products on the table, I then started the fire and instantly the room began warming up. I grabbed the face wash and walked into the bathroom, after brushing my teeth and washing my face I pulled off my jeans and climbed the ladder in nothing but my tank top and underware. The kid had showered with me naked and not asked a question, I loved him dearly. He never asked questions, he never aksed me why I was the way I was. He didnt look at me odly, I wished I would never loose him again.

 

 Seconds later I heard Sasha sighing below and smiled sadly to myself. Poor pouch. Mason rolled over and curled his hand into my unbound hair. I places a kiss on his cool head and tried to unwind. So much was on tomorrow. The snores and crackling fire eventually lulled me to sleep though it took me a while. Thoughts kept flying around my head making it impossible.

 

When I woke it was sudden, someone was in the room with me. The energy felt different. Charged. I didn't move a muscle, only fluttered my eyelashes slightly. Reveling nothing I slowly rolled my head towards the door. Nothing? I closed my eyes knowing it was best to go back to sleep. Suddenly there was a creak on the steps. Ahh it was just Sasha. Well that was what I thought until a hand was touching my knee. My eyes flew open, I rolled onto my side hiding Mason from view. Liam sat down next to his hand, he looked horrible. Bags under his eyes. Unshaven. I sat up and placed my hand on his face. My eyes holding his blue ones. I sat up slowly and nodded to the floor bellow.

 

He smiled brokenly and jumped the seven foot drop landing perfectly Silently. I turned and climbed down the stairs. As soon as my foot was on the bottom step his hands were on my hips helping me down. I looked down and blushed. His hands clung to my barely clothed hips. I place my hands on his and gently pulled them away. Looking in my suitcase I found a pair of sleeping shorts. It wasn't much but it was better. I couldn't quite force myself to put on the dress of death quite yet. I sighed at myself that was a horrible thought. Goosebumps rose on my thighs, sighing again I walked over to the front door and walked out to go find some wood. My porch less door was wet with mildew, which was actually oddly comforting on my shoeless feet. The ground was rough, uneven and full of rocks. I was home here.

 

I walked out and towards a thicker part of the forest to find some logs. I felt like I was being watched, in the dim light though I couldn't see anything. No one was here. I bent down and touched my toes, and straightened and rolled my shoulders back. Yawning, I began collecting firewood. A damp leaf stuck to my hand, it was a perfect skeleton of a leaf. I held I in one and and the thick sticks and twigs in the other.

 

I walked back to the house and placed the sticks by the fire, the leaf I placed on my table I wanted to frame it. I then turned the kettle on and pulled out Sasha's stake, placing it on a random plate I placed it on the floor. I grabbed the chicken and put it on the cooking tray, putting it on the fire where it would slowly cook. Hopefully. I turned back around to find Liam directally behind me, I let out a startled yelp and nearly fell, well that was until he once again put his hands on my waist straightening me. '

 

Thankyou' I mumbled walking back to the kettle before it made an annoying noise. I found two mugs and began making coffee. When I was done I passed Liam his. 'I am sorry.' I told him, sitting on the couch. It was a comfortable big green pillow pretty much. It looked swade by the way the fabric had lines running down it. It just seemed to swallow me whole. I sighed in content and curled up, my face angled away from Liam and towards the fire. My feet were the closest body part to him. 'I know you didn't want to leave, I just wish you had told me. I cant help but think we could have helped you.' He told me staring into the fire also. 'Lee you were seventeen. Your brother worked at the same shitty restaurant that I did. How would it have been fair for any of you? You have to look after Mason not me. He doesn't have a mum or a dad, you all he's got. You and your family have done more than enough for me.' I told him feeling lower than I bad yesterday.

 

I had run and we all know it. 'Blood isn't thicker than water here Sky that's not how it works. Were a community I'm sure there was something that could have been done.' From the corner of my eye I saw him put his head in his hands. It physically hurt me to see him so distressed. 'I had lived here for three months. All I know is how to start again, I don't know how to live. I don't know how to enjoy life, I just know how to breathe. This so called community doesn't know me. Why would they help me? My own farther didn't want me. Surely that's a hint.' I replied, I took a sip from my hot scolding drink giving me something to do. 'That man is weak. He wouldn't know how to fight his way out of a paper bag, let alone fight for you. He watched you grow up.' I stared at him for a minuet. He was acting so weird. It was something he'd said, something he didn't say. Daughter. He didn't say daughter or farther. He's hiding something. 'Spill.' Was all I said in response. 'What?' He asked looking generally worried. 'Now.'

Chapter Six

Liam does as he always will 

 

He looked at me with such a depressed look, such sadness and weariness in his eyes. 'Its okay. You can tell me.' I told him closing my eyes, the pain evident in his face was killing me. 'Your... The. Man who raised you. He.. I ...' He trailed off thinking for the longest ten seconds of my life. Never had my heart race so much whilst I was so completely still. I didn't want to spook him. Sighing he continued, 'after you left I... Well I didn't know what to do. Everyone was talking about

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