Love & Stadiums by Luis Castro (books under 200 pages TXT) 📕

better, you deserve the warmth, and the happiness given by other people. I deserve karma, and to be let alone and just suffer. Because I know that I'm not right. I'm doing so much, yet I'm failing. I'm lying to myself, and to others.. I'm cheating myself. And it's not right. I have no clue what I'm doing, and I want to so badly.. I'm losing myself, because I'm losing you.. And I don't know when I'll be better again.. But until, I can find myself, is when I can get back up and find you. Because as much as I'm lost.. you're lost too.
I took a break writing, cause I'm getting mixed feelings. And I don't know. I'm losing it. You won't have to worry about me. Cause I have a feeling you're doing fine without me. You know? I'm doing this cause I promised you this.. but after this I don't know where our destiny will go. Cause, I can't bring you down with me. It's a shame, how badly hurt I am, and no matter what I try, I can't heal. It's hard, and I guess. That's why maybe I haven't been talking to you much. Because I'm scared of going back and getting myself hurt again. And I know how great you're doing now. So I don't want to get in the way of your happiness just so that you can watch me suffer, it's just not right.
So whatever lies in front of our friendship.. it just happens. This part's short.. because I don't know how much more I can write.. I shouldn't have even ended it. I'm sorry.. but this is why it's called Heartbreak. Cause after you get crushed, all your feelings and soul.. gets thrown out onto a piece of paper, hoping that it'll grab the attention of those you love. And if it doesn't then you should just keep writing.
Love & Stadiums - Part 2 of 3
#OVOXO
Recovery (Part 3)

Love & Stadiums - Part 3 (Recovery)
I'm skipping homework to write you this last part, the last part of the book, Love & Stadiums. I've poured my soul and tears typing all this up, and as much as it hurts writing out all my feelings I want to say that I respect you as a human being, and as my friend. I know we've drifted apart, and all I want is for us to come back together. But I don't know whether or not that's right, because all we'll do is fade again.. You see, I have this fear of losing you, because I already have. To lose you again, it'll be so hard to live with, so I have to ask, whether or not you want me in your life.
We've struggled in this friendship. We've cried, we've laughed, we've argued.. but we have always been together and never gave up. I always thought that someone like you never existed, but I was mistaken. You taught me that there are beautiful people in the world, and you taught me well. You have demonstrated beautiful friendship that is rare today. You show care, you show love, you show your individual, and you have no clue how great that is. I am such a lucky person to know that you used to be my girlfriend, and I am still lucky that you're still in my life.
We took a chance, we took a risk, we've merged together, and we became into something I never pictured us being, and that's close friends. Writing this has made me realize how bad of a person I am. I lost control of who I was, and for that reason I have become confused on my identity. I lost something so valuable to me, that I can never reget. I lost the one person who used to send me morning messages on a daily basis. I lost someone who took care of me, no matter how many miles you were from me. I lost someone I should have been more thankful for. I lost someone who was always caring, always lovable, always passionate. I lost someone who was unique, the one who made me laugh, and smile, the one who shared beautiful wonderful moments with me, and the one who gained my heart and trust. You have no idea how hurt I am today, with all the things I go through, I struggle with, and its just so hard to live with yourself. Sometimes, it's just like.. 'I wanna cut to the chase, and just end it with no ending.' You showed me however, I should be thankful for every second of my life, because I am so lucky, I have wonderful, wondeful things. And that's something I can never thank enough for. You saved me from the hell that I been through. You saved me from my own self. You made me who I've become today.. and I can never say enough to say my thank you's. Actions may not even prove it either.
You are a person I will never regret meeting. You are a person who I will remember all my life. Who knew that an online could help you meet someone that could always be there for you? Whether you moved on, or whether or not you care anymore.. I want you to know, that I will always love you as if you were still mine, because I know that no matter how hard I try, no matter who I'm dating.. I'm going to think of you. That's why it hurts so much, because you made such a great impact in my life. You have no clue. We have so much ahead of us, and this.. this is just the beggining of a beautiful friendship. I hope it lasts forever, and that we stay in contact no matter where our destiny leads us. I could never wish for more out of you. Thank you for being in my life, thank you.. for everything.. You rescued me. And thus ends this story.. with a simple and complex.. 'I love you.' You showed me what love truly is.. The end.
Love & Stadiums - Part 3 of 3

Imprint

Text: Picture's off tumblr. -LuProductionsz 2009-2011
Publication Date: 11-20-2011

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
I dedicate this story to my ex-girlfriend/bestfriend, Chantel Beecher.