Marry me by Svetoslav Ivanov (unputdownable books .txt) 📕

time?
I do not have time before me.
Your time? ... May God protects you!
I have not eaten ... I do not know from when. I make him tea and paste ... I do not know from when I'm not ... so sit to eat. Lick the spoons, tea ... He inquired not eating anything ... nothing, nothing eating! ... We married twenty-seven years ... targets twenty-seven years! I know him as my child ... everything ... And I know his moods and bad and smile ... I know his a big, big smile ...
Smoky.
The air was blue, on waves.
I opened the door slowly, not wolfing… we could not change the woodwork ... and squeaking doors and from windows blows wind ... And it's dusty, and how dusty everywhere! ...
I’ll caught myself, to clean, to wipe dust and beat the carpet ... nothing to beat , for whom ?!... I know there is a little more brandy, I will swallow it. Head ... hurts my head, spinning, spinning ... ... and gnawing inside… and with him, what it is? ... When It hurts ... He cries like a child ... Weeping with tears ... injection, then, by grant-sleep ! ... This is the most frightening ... when he is starting to cry. As a child ...
God, why are you punish him?
He has worked all his life, a life for children ... everything! We didn’t go on a break as people-examinations, teachers, then private lessons ...
Well, now, where are the kids?
I smoke a cigarette and get in bed.
The more, the more ...
I will lie down on the earth near him if he wakes -to hear.
He sweet! ...
I do not know how they behave in the hospital. Do they leave them one day. Then bury them not to let something ... a miracle to happen. Mira may come. At least for the funeral ... and now hopefully he will succeed to see her. Four years she did not return. ... Germany's man, had no money for walks, but I know ... he is drunk, so that’s why he doesn’t have money! ... Before she was sharing a phone call and she was crying ... But now, he sure keeps it safe and does not let her! ... and I yelled: "Mother, is not for you! ... Jerry, Jerry ... but see that when he drink and he goes mad…
Wind!
"Mother,she said - I have no future in this country! ... What shall I become a waitress, or shop newspaper ?..."
And she’s right.
Well ... it didn’t happen.
Her man from drinking and children may not have.
Mira said, they have been visiting doctors, and do not know where ... And people say ...
And grandchildren I will not have one day.
Valiya ... at all.
I hope this is not true, Lord, hope it is not true ... ... our one of a known son, he had said "I went to Cyprus, on the highway and I look-Valiya! ... Our Valiya! ... For a handful of coins - so to say, a handful of coins: he made a blowjob in the car !..."
My Valya, blowjob-in-a - car ?!... the TIR s ...? I Do not believe it! ... I do not believe God, do not want to believe it!
Cognac is a strong act ... My head seemed to relax me, do I know ... With him we drank cognac, brandy evening or two, liked to sit so ... both… and he told me for work, for what just happened, how stupid is this nation ... And when it gets in good mood, he was putting tape-click, click, scroll until you find a song ... heard it, smoked a cigarette ... and so… he was not in very companies. Various friends came, until the time came, then they are gone ... Any of a goat-leg! ... Where are your friends now? ... Ah, where are they? I called men of work - it was, what was ... Everyone sees their own ... but still, and people have to be!
Your relatives doesn’t care, that the foreigns will?!...
So is life.
Born alone and alone you go ...
And so I will go.
I did, what did, who will look me? ... Everyone is scattered all over the world, relative is only to the book ... Whatever.
Then, we will see ...
-Emma?
I startled. I put the light off of the cigarette, ie, it threw sparks in the ashtray, jumped under the table and rolled... Whatever.
He was got up his head.
At dusk, his eyes shone like he has been crying.
"Here I am, dear ... Say what you want!
-Nothing.
-How are you? ... Does it hurt?
-Let…. Children what… they will come, right?
"Yes, yes ... They will come! Mira rang and Valiya ... they travel, flights fly ... something ... Mira will only arrive in the morning that something field ... And Valya, she was gone already ... She'll come, I phoned twice ... "I travel, I mean, she shouted" ... She will come!
-Will they come, eh?
"Yes, dear ... They'll come! ... But now you know how it is ... And the airplane, and customs ... They'll come!
He tried to wipe his forehead, raised hand, but refused. There are no forces ... I reached with a towel to his head, slowly and gently absorb the drops, pillow was all wet, sweat, sweat and ... And his voice had become such hoarse, like another:
-I'll try to make it till they come ... Right ?!...A few more hours, a whole day ... I will not, but ...
-What are you talking about?!... now you are gonna be okay, you'll see! ... They’ll come, I tell you ... I called the on the phone, then: "Mother, we travel ... Problems in customs, but we will get ..."
-They’ll get ... Wind! ... Give me water, please!
-Now, dear ... Mineral water, from Devin ... ... For the kidney was, then it helps ...
I lifted his head, I raised him whole, and his body was light and flexible, like brittle. Disease drank him, just skin and bones.
He drank on small sips, then he felt sick him and threw a small on the pillow.
-Here, nothing ... At least for a bit ... do not severe your stomach ... There is nothing, come on, you lie!
His head hang near the pillow, I lifted it and settled it, his eyes shining and wet-pierced me. I kept silent, and he paused. I felt tears in my eyes, how a lump of climb-up from the stomach to the neck ... Enough ... No way!
- The doctor went away ... He said you are better today ... He’ll come tomorrow morning to see you. If it is not, someone from the clinic, they ... you know there has a specialist team ... permanently.
-Does he still want to lead me in the hospital?
No, not now he didn’t say ... said that you are normalized from injections ... for now there is no need of such treatment .... And you ... you didn’t want to go to the hospital, right?
"Yes, I do not want in hospital ... and then ... I do not want to bury me. Cremation, ashes and so ... ... And no ... these various guests, table, relatives and friends ... Who wanted to see me, to come ... what they will come after to trace ...
-Oh, please! ... What are these tales do now ?!... Stop, please!
-I’ll stop it! ... Soon, I will stop ...
Nonsense, just nonsense you talk to me!
Come on ... come on! No tears! ... No hype ... please! ... For what you drank cognac and drank and pills and what not ... Hold on, Emma, you are already a big girl! ... Very big and strong girl, ... tweak to your pointer, stuck nails in it ... When it hurt, you will not know to cry! ... As a child ... as a child, the magic ruled straight, always, but always helped me not to cry! ...
Well, sorry! ... Not now quarrel.
His eyes didn’t separate from me.
Warm, moist, shining eyes.
His cheeks had jumped out, but even so it went ... somewhat jaded gracefully with those snow ...
Lord, what I am talking about? ...
I reached and grabbed his hand.
Cold hand.
Cool.
-Sorry!
Tears came pouring down itself down. I shook the whole, I could not stop, my body didn’t stop, my hands caressing themselves, leapt on his face, arms, chest ...
-God ... What apologize, for God?
-So ... You know ... Everyone is wrong.
-No, please! ... No, please! ... Can you stop it, to speak so !!!...
"Yes, dear ... I won’t.
Pain, such pain, such a terrible, hacking pain in chest ... Jump in the heart ... no, not that! My soul weep, not me ...
I gotta stop! ... Must stop immediately!
A little more, Lord, a little more! ...
-You gonna be okay, you’ll see ... I am right beside you!
"Yes ... You are to myself ... you know ... once I wished that, when we get married ... to get old next to you… And it was, here it is ... Remember, huh?
-Remember, of course! ... I remember, let this not to mention now ... Do you want something, water ... or put your injection?
-Let ... I feel better though ...
Slowly raised his arm, his hand shake with the effort ... Then, very slowly, very carefully, gently, he stroked my cheeks.
-Marry me.
-What?!
-This ... Marry me ...
-Well, we're married twenty-seven years ... Do you remember?
-Put ... I remember: how I can forget ... "Call a priest ... I want to get married again ... As we should, in a church ...
-God, what are you talking about?
"Yes ... this is what I want. Let does not appear that we lived in sin, that our children are ... that children are conceived in sin ...
What are you talking about my sweet?!?!... What are you talking, do you hear yourself ?!... What wedding now?
Wedding-to ... ... Church wedding marriage, vow before God ...
-Please listen to… just what are you talking about? ...
-Please!
I left speechless. And my convulsions stopped, my tears are rolled down, exhausted and disappeared somewhere.Near the night lamp one butterfly turned, tossed in light fixtures attached, and then it fell down again, and then it flew again. Quietly, quietly – it became scary.
He laid with eyes closed, his breathing became heavy again pulled.
God ... what wedding?
-Sweetheart, do not you ... you are not well, that’s why you talking about this way ... Please sleep, and when you wake up ... and Mira and Valya'll come, to see you ... And you will you go better, we’ll go in the park ... you know … where loved to walk in the park ... there-by birches, on our bench ...
He open his eyes.
His eyes wandered around the room as if looking for something. Then, with difficulty stopped on me, bright, dull eyes.
-We