The Answer is Within by Janice K. Whitney (great books of all time txt) 📕

had really stop drinking, most of all not using the drugs anymore. Taking a deep breath, she dialed the number listening to the rings. When Randy’s voice said hello, her heart did a leap. She choked out a “Hi.”
He recognize her voice immediately, he voiced an exuberant, “Hi! I am so glad you called. I have so much to tell you. First off, I want to thank you for sending me to jail. I was out of control and if you had not done that, I would probably be dead now. I was angry for a very long time, after getting out of jail. Then it dawned on me just what you had done for me. You would be proud to know that I have not touched any alcohol or drugs since that night. Bet you thought that was impossible. Been a day by day battle, something I have to live with the rest of my life. I just have to be stronger then it.”
Trish praised him on his success on his on-going battle with the addictions. They talked for an hour or more, catching up on what had been happening in their separate lives. He was interested to know how the kids were doing. Pleased with the daughters progress in college. Wistfully, he said he missed the family that he had thrown away. The adjustment had been tough on him, but he knew he could survive now. He wanted to see her but it was up to her. If she wanted to come by tonight, he would be at the shop. He was living at the shop in a motor home. Was not like what he had with her, but it was home.
She told him that since it was News Eve, she already had plans. That she was going out camping with the gang, to celebrate the New Years. He wanted to know what her plans were for that night, whom she was going to be with. She told him some of her friends, and that she did not go out anymore, that she had just about become a recluse. She had had couple of boyfriends in the year and a half, but nothing serious. Randy informed her that he had had several girlfriends too. However, they did not really matter to him. Seems that he could not love any of them and they all turned out to have drinking problems. Moreover, he definitely did not need that kind around. Randy then told her that he really wanted to see her. She said OK and they made plans to meet after her camping trip with the gang. They said good bye for now. Trish hung up the telephone, knowing that she had made another major decision that may be good or may be bad. Deep down, she knew that he still loved her, and that she loved him. Her meeting with him would more then likely be a turning point at this time of her life.
She had a great time with her friends out in the forest. They laughed and clowned around the whole time. Even went looking for some late Chanterelle mushrooms in the dark, being led by the on friend who gets lost just going from the cab of his truck to the tailgate. When that realization happened they started howling with laughter again the sound echoing throughout the dark forest full of second growth firs and cedars.
Of course, there were no mushrooms having had a freeze already in the area. In addition, the next morning when they crawled out of their perspective 4x4’s there was two inches of snow on the ground. Her cocker spaniel, Mandy, loved the snow and started her snorting and hunting for mice. After pulling out her camp stove from the old Jeep Wagoneer, she made the boys a pancake breakfast with all the trimmings for New Years Day. However, she did not tell them about her calling Randy. She knew that they would be critical of her decision and of Randy. She was enjoying the warm glow from their telephone conversation and did not want to lose it. Ruefully, she reflected that her family would probably disown her for calling him. It was her choice and hers alone. No one else could run her life but herself. Moreover, she had never been with Randy clean and sober in the whole relationship before. If it turned out to be a mistake, then she would have to live with it. Only the future would tell her whether it was a good or bad decision.
5 Years Later
As she sat in the specialist’s office being told that she had the beginnings of the Parkinson’s Disease, her first words were “How long do I have to go hunting?” The doctor reassured her that it would be for many years since this incurable disease is a slow degenerate one. Later she may need to use a tri-pod to help hold her rifle steady. Moreover, that there were drugs out there now that would help with the tremors and muscle spasms that will occur. Then her next silent thought was that her relationship with Randy had once again been degenergrating for the last three years, especially in the last year and a half. He had been very good about being home for dinner, not drinking or drugging and help supporting the household bills. However, there was a distance once again that had been growing. She had become more or less an unpaid servant to his needs and care. Now with this pronouncement of what was looming in her future the question or should say the answer to have as much quality time to her life would mean that he would have to step up to the plate. And she strongly doubted that he would. For it was always “Me First” with him.
Then on the day after the diagnosis, she had her children now adults and Randy sitting at the dinner table. After everyone was finishing up his or her plate and as Randy started to get up to go sit in front of the TV again she halted him. Asking him to sit back down because she had something that she needed to tell them all. Then she told them of the diagnosis the specialist had told her. True to form, Randy was only concerned with the affect it would have to him. The kids were asking questions on what would be entailing in the future with this disease. Much more concerned with what would be happening to me. I had found some information on the Internet and printed out a few informative sheets. They talked about it for awhile, though Randy had immediately gone to lie on the couch to watch TV. Not really interested in this very changing life situation for her.
For the next few days she got severely depressed, trying to absorb all that was going on and what to do about this one way relationship with this man that had started calling her “wife”. She had already asked him to leave two times before in the previous years. Nevertheless, he had talked her out of it in one way or another. In addition, they had been together for little over 20 years now.
At one time, she had sat over cup of coffee with a very dear older friend who was in her seventies at the time. One that she considered very wise and she was certainly no-nonsense type of character. Her friend had said that with men like Randy, they give you just a glimpse once in awhile of what kind of man that they could be and that was enough to keep you there hoping that he would change into that man. Sighing, I could see that was very true. However, that had happened far too often and he would then go back to the old Randy, full of negativity and hatefulness.
On December 1st, he actually took the ball into his own hands by announcing that he was moving out that he had found a “room” to rent that would take him and his two black labs. She sat there in her chair and said, “Well, I was going to talk to you about this for with the Parkinson’s I don’t want you here if you can’t help more and be supportive in the future.” At which he says, “Oh, I forgot about the Parkinson’s.”
She thought; well there, you go. Something that has to do with me is quickly forgotten because I am not important enough to him anymore.
A few days later she opened his cell phone bill by accident thinking it was hers. What she discovered was that there were 108 calls that month to a woman who lived about 15 miles out of town. Looking up in the reverse part of the phone book, she discovered her name. Therefore, Randy had again proven that he was not trustworthy at all. But she kept quiet for he had told her that he would give her the title to the car he had purchased for her to run around in. However, she decided that the moment she had it in her possession she was going to tell him exactly what she thought of him. A few days later it came to her attention that he had started drinking again. When they had gotten back together, again she had told him that it would only take one of three things to put an end to the relationship. One that he lied to her, two that he cheated on her and three if he started drinking again. Seeing has to how he managed to hit all three, she was not sad to see him go. In fact, it was a major relief. For now she could have her life back and not have to worry about being home to cook, clean and run his errands.
When he came to get the rest of his things, he signed the car title over. She neatly folded it and put it in her jean pocket. The she looked at him coldly and told him, “You are still the same lying, cheating drunk that you have always been. And by the way how is Jane?” At which his mouth dropped, “How did you find out?” She just said, “Small town.” She turned and walked away from him.
What was left of any ragged emotional ties to him had died the moment that he told her that he was leaving that he was not in love with her anymore. Well, she thought, I have not been in love with you for quite a few years now. Nevertheless, she honored her commitment to the relationship and obviously, that had been too many years wasted of her life. He had managed to destroy 22 years of relationship. Granted a relationship that had been full of living with him and his alcohol/drug addiction, the physical, emotional and verbal abuse. Plus numerous affairs that he had with other women, mostly one nighters as far as she could figure. In the beginning of the relationship, things had been wonderful. Full of laughter, love, and fun. In addition, wonderful uninhibited sex.