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holding the sliver of glass to my neck.
"whoa, calm down."
"you don't understand no one does."
"yes i do."
"lies. your lying to me."
"just put the glass down listen to my voice."
"why should i no one cares. it's so easy just one little slice."
"so you can bleed to death in pain?" Eli asked.
i looked at him annoyed, remembering what he told me.
"fine i'll just." i grabbed the rope i had.
"whoa where'd you get that?"
i put the noose on a hook, that was on the roof.
"Scarlett."
"drop it Eli, i'm doing this."
"what will it solve! i know you have problems we all do."
i got on the chair, and put my head through the loop, testing it.
i tossed the glass, and stood at the edge of the chair.
"Scarlett." Eli said, hand held out.
he Swallowed.
"i'm sorry i failed you, Eli." I whispered.
i closed my eyes and stepped off the chair.
Eli, lunged at me. he yanked on the rope causing it to break free.
"Why did you do that?" i Screamed, pushing him away from me.
"I was so close to being with him, why'd you do it!" i screamed, tears running down my face.
"Listen to me."
"i was this close to happiness why would you take that away from me?"
i sat on the floor in the corner.
"i don't feel good."
Eli came too me.
i fought him, as he lifted up the sleeves.
"Shit, Jake!"
the door flew open and i looked up into Blake's face.
good, he's better.
I heard the sick sound of the soaking wet rag when Eli tossed it to the floor.
"give me the box. get out of here, i don't know if she's going to make it."
"I'm staying." Blake said as everyone left.
"fine, talk to her keep her awake." Eli said, tearing through a first aid kit.
"hey." Blake said, taking my hand.
"i tried to kill myself."
"i know, and it was stupid."
"Blake." Eli warned.
"your hurting me." i said.
"I know." Eli said, as he tried to stop the bleeding.
Blake took the noose from my neck and tossed it.
"Beth, call 911!" Eli said.
"Blake."
"yeah?"
"you have to promise to not hurt or kill yourself if i don't make it."
"Your going to make it, Right Eli?" Blake sounded like a scared little kid.
"I Don't know Blake." He said.
"Promise." i said.
"i promise." Blake said, starting to cry.
"there on the way." Beth said.
"She doesn't look to good." Cassie said.
"it's cause she's dying." Eli said, ripping open another bag.
"No, no, no, Scarlett, stay with me. wake up Scarlett." Blake said, Shaking my shoulders.
"Don't you'll send her into shock." Eli said.
Had he done this before?
Darkness slowly consumed me, and my breathing slowed.
when i woke up there was a loud annoying beep.
Jake, Cassie, Blake, and Beth where everywhere asleep.
Eli was face down on my bed, holding my good hand.
i keened him in the head.
He woke up.
"yes!" he said, kissing my forehead.
"i finally know how my mom, felt when i woke up." a tear slid down his face. "and how joey felt when he jumped."
"where's Lee?"
"coffee run."
""i'm sorry." my voice sounded horse.
"Me too." he said.
"For what?"
"this."
he stood up and pressed his lips to mine.
his lips where soft and warm, which made me smile.
it was one of those eating chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven moment.
Something you could sink everything into and it felt so right. i put my hand on his neck, wanting him to stay there.
one of his hands rested on the top on my head, and the other cupped my chin.
as his tongue slipped in, i combed my fingers through my hair.
"Ahem."
Eli jumped back, and i stared wide eyed.
"Glad your up." Blake said.
"Eli."
"I know." he said, leaving.
"Come here." i said.
Blake walked to me like a shy scared little kid.
"Some role model huh?" i asked.
"Your still my role model. Even the brave fall down sometimes."
" I almost fell down permanently."
"Stop it." he whispered, wiping at a tear.
"you going to be okay, Blake."
he took my hand, and i didn't flinch back.
"your okay now right?"
"no." i smiled.
"I mean, no more killing yourself stuff?"
"i promise."
"I'm holding you up to that."
Eli came back with Lee. as if smelling coffee, Cassie, Beth, and Jake woke up.
they didn't say anything about me trying to kill myself.
they started talking about random things like, the color of the curtains, to how hungry they where. the subject of trying to kill myself never came up.
i didn't know if i was relieved or scared.
i was able too go home soon after that.
i layed in my bed, as Eli looked up the house.
Lee was away on a job, and Eli was Paid to watch me. Yes Paid.
i rolled onto my side.
"all locked up."
He layed in front of me.
"you okay?"
"will you hold me?"
he held me to him.
"Ayden want's me to be happy."
"Yeah, Kammi told me that to, a week before you know."
"yeah."
i heard him swallow.
"I'm really scared."
"Don't be." he said, rubbing my back.
"how are you so strong?"
"I don't know." he laughed, once.
"When you kissed me."
"should we get together?"
"yeah, i mean should we, i don't know."
"do you want too?"
"yeah, but then i think of him, and i'm just like that's not fair."
"he feels no pain,"
"i know, but. am i ready to move on?"
"yes."
"how do you know?"
"Because you kissed me back. both times."
"wanna try for a third?"
he smiled down at me and pressed his lips to mine.


Imprint

Publication Date: 07-30-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
if someone you know is cutting, don't leave them. they aren't doing it for attention, there might be things that they don't tell you. don't yell at them, it could push them over the edge. if you think someone is self hurting themselves pay close attention, you might just save a life. Don't get frustrated with them. just like my sister said, cutting is like a drug.

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