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Keith nodded and picked me up. He carried me inside and up to my room. He layed me down and layed down next to me. I climbed into his arms and layed my head on his chest crying.


The next day I wasn’t sore anymore. But I just layed there in bed. It was around noon. Keith came in and sat on the side of the bed, “Hey. How are you feeling?” I replied, “As good as new.” He said, “Then why don’t you come downstairs?” I sighed and sat up, “When’s the funeral?” He said, “Well, when you were ready we were gonna just have a little private funeral out back. People aren’t going to understand how we have a body or a funeral for a three month old baby.”

I nodded and got up. He put his arm around me and we went downstairs. We sat on the couch and I cuddled up to Keith. He held me against his chest as we watched T.V. Diana looked at me and muttered, “I’m sorry.” I just kept my eyes on the T.V. I didn’t want to break down right now.

We were watching some show called ‘Little House on the Prairie’. David got up and left. He had work. He took his vacation time to be home with all the chaotic stuff that was going on. But now he had to go back to work.

After a while on the show, Laura gave birth to a baby boy and they couldn’t decide a name to name it because Laura was worried about what other people would nickname it. It was getting to me. I got up and headed for the kitchen, “I’m gonna get something to eat.”

I went into the cabinet and pulled out a pop tart. I put it in the toaster and waited. Keith wrapped his arms around me and asked, “Did that bother you?” I layed my head against his shoulder and looked at him, “A little.” He kissed me, “We can watch something else.” I sighed, “No. I’m gonna go see Sam.” Keith said, “I’ll take you.” The pop tart popped up and I grabbed it. I pulled out my cell phone and called her.

Sam answered, “Ariel.” I said, “Sam. It’s me.” “Ariel. What’s wrong? You sound terrible. Do you need me?” I replied, “Yeah. I was just calling to see if I could come over.” She said, “Yes. Of course. Come right over. What happened?” I said, “I’ll explain when I get there. I’ll be right over. Bye.” “Bye.” She hung up. I put the phone back in my pocket.

I turned to Keith, “Ready to go?” He nodded, “Yeah. Come on.” We went out to the car and Keith drove slowly. Not too slow but not as fast as he usually did. I placed my feet on the dash board and layed my head against the seat looking out the window.

Keith grabbed my hand, “Everything’s going to be okay, Ariel. I promise. We’ll have another one.” I shook my head, “No. I don’t want another one.” “Why not? I think it would be great.” He asked. I said, “No. I don’t want another baby. He can’t just be replaced.” Keith sighed, “That’s not what I meant. I know that.” We were silent after that.

When we got to Sam’s place I got out and said, “I’ll call you when I’m ready to leave.” He nodded and leaned over. I leaned in and kissed him. He said, “Think about what I said. I don’t think that it would be so bad.” I sighed, “Keith. I won’t kill another baby.” He frowned and grabbed my hand as I was about to get out, “What do you mean? Ariel. His death wasn’t your fault.” I shook my head, “We can talk about this later.” I shut the door and went up to the house. I heard the car race down the street as I knocked on the door.
Chapter 13: Friends Don’t Help Much

The door opened and it was Sam. “Hi Sam.” I said. She moved to the side, “Hey. Ariel. Come on in. You look terrible. What happened?” I went inside and saw Mike sitting on the couch, “Hey Mike.” I sat down and Mike handed me a glass of water. I said, “Thanks.” Sam sat next to me and put her arm around me, “Ariel. What happened?” I took a drink and answered, “I lost the baby.” Tears silently ran down both mine and Sam’s face. “How did it happen?” She asked. I replied, “I was being careless and fell down the stairs. And he . . . Died.” Sam hugged me, “Oh my god. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault, Ariel.” I said, “Yes it is. If it weren’t for me he would still be alive.”

Mike touched my shoulder, “I’m sorry Ariel. Maybe it was for the best. You’re too young to become a mother. And . . . Keith may not be the best man out there for you.” I jumped up and looked at him. I squeezed my hands into a fist. The glass broke in my hand and glass and water went all over the place. Glass dug into my skin and I just squeezed my hand into a fist pushing the glass even further in. “Why would you say that?! How dare you?! You have no idea what it’s like to feel your child growing inside you and then one day because you’re being clumsy the baby’s gone! Dead!”

Mike got up and came over to me, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’ll take you to the hospital.” I shook my head, “No! Just take me home! I can take care of my hand there.” Sam got up and we left. When we got to my house I got out and Mike said, “I’m really sorry. Get your hand taken care of.” Then they drove off. I kept my hands in tight fist pushing the glass deeper into my skin of my left hand. Blood dripped from my hand to the ground.

I turned and ran inside. I ignored their gazes and ran right up to my room. I sat down on the floor by my bed with my legs stretched out and my left fist on the floor. I looked down and covered my face with my right hand crying.

The door opened and Keith rushed to my side, “Ariel. What happened?” I couldn’t stop crying enough right now to be able to tell him. He took my left hand and said, “Ariel. Open your hand.” I didn’t and he opened my hand. I just let it relax open. Keith picked me up and ran downstairs. I layed my head against his shoulder and took deep breaths trying to calm myself down.

“Dad. Her hand. There’s glass in it. And she pushed it deeper in there.” He sat down on the couch with me on his lap. Hilary and Diana got up and ran outside. David went to work on my hand. After the glass was out and my hand was numbed he started sewing up my hand. I was calm now. I just sat there on Keith’s lap and layed my head against his shoulder.


Keith touched my face and kissed my forehead, “Ariel. What happened?” I said softly, “Mike was there. I told them that I fell down the stairs and the baby died. Sam hugged me and comforted me. And Mike . . .” “What did he do?” Keith asked when I didn’t continue. I swallowed and closed my eyes, “He said that it was a good thing. That I was too young to have a baby and that you might not be right for me. I got up and I squeezed my hands into fists yelling at him not paying attention to when the glass I was holding broke into my hand.”

Keith growled lowly, “I’m gonna kill him. Once we’re done here. I swear I’m gonna kill him.” I shook my head, “No. Don’t. He’s not even worth it.” He sighed and kissed my cheek, “I wish he didn’t say that. It hurt you. Both physically and emotionally.” “Alright. All done.” David said. Then he started cleaning up the mess I made. There was a trail of blood from downstairs to upstairs.

I turned around in Keith’s lap and faced him. I placed my hands on his shoulders, “I’m alright now.” “Really?” He asked. I nodded, “Really.” He looked at me and pursed his lips. He didn’t believe me. Neither did I. I sighed, “I’m going to be alright. I promise. Are you alright?” I haven’t really considered his feelings. I just thought about myself. He said, “I’m fine. I’m just worried about you right now.”

I shook my head and said, “Well, if you’re worried about me then you should worry about yourself. I’m only as okay as you are.” He humped, “Sure, sure. That’s what you want me to think. I’m not stupid and I’m not blind. You’re not handling it.” I smiled slightly, “I know. I know. I was just trying to think of you. I haven’t really been there for you. It’s not fair.” He smiled and touched my face, “Ariel. I know that you’re here for me. But I’ll be fine. But you . . . you need my help. I’ll be there for you. I promise.” I layed against him laying my head against his shoulder looking at the door, “I know. I love you.” “I love you too.”

I asked, “Where did Diana and Hilary go?” Keith answered, “Waiting outside. You left a trail of blood and it’s hard to control our thirst so they left.” I sighed, “Oh. Sorry.” “Don’t apologize. It’s okay. This isn’t your fault.” He wrapped his arms around me tighter and whispered in my ear, “Ariel. Tell me why. Why you think that what happened to the baby was your fault?” I said, “Because it is.” My voice was shaky and so were my hands. They were trembling now as I was on the edge of losing control of my emotions. “I was careless and decided to walk home alone. I didn’t think about what he would do if he caught me alone. I was irresponsible. I was stupid. I killed him.”

Keith touched my chin and pulled my face up to his. Our noses touched. He whispered to me, “It wasn’t your fault. At all. You didn’t kill him. William did. He killed him. None of this is your fault.” I sighed, “I wish I could believe you but I knew that he wanted our baby. I knew he was going to kill him if I didn’t give our baby to him. I knew he would try to get me when I was alone. But I still left and decided to walk home alone.” I touched his face, “I took him away from you. I’m so sorry.”


Keith took my face in both of his hands. Roughly, but it didn’t hurt at all. He frowned, “Ariel Snyder. Don’t you ever . . . ever apologize for that again. You didn’t kill him. You didn’t take him away from me. William did. Do you hear me?” I nodded, “I hear you.” He said fiercely, “Promise me that you won’t take the blame for his death. Promise me.” I sighed, “I won’t apologize again for it. I won’t mention it again to you. But . . . I can’t promise you that I won’t take the blame for his death.”

I looked down and he released my face. He was breathing
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