Kingdom of Arzialla by Marilyn Arias (story reading txt) 📕

I’m not officially a soldier but I minus well be since I will be soon. It’s like a child about to have their birthday around the corner—some consider themselves to be older already even though their birthday hasn’t passed yet.

I arrived school a few minutes later than I meant to but I managed to slip in without being noticed. The school year officially ends in two weeks, but seniors have the advantage of finishing early. Graduation is within a week and we have until the Wednesday before then to finish our knighting ceremony in order to graduate. Everyone at this moment was going through their trials in the woods—a final exam that seniors with a military major are mandatory to take. In order to start their knighting ceremony, you must pass it. The school and King Zysman gave me permission to be exempt from the test, probably since I’ve evidently had plenty of experience with Gavrils. I came to school just to see a teacher, Mr. Nusz.

I entered his classroom, aware that I have a possibility of interrupting his class—in which I was. I gave him a silent shush and held out a hand, telling him to just continue with his lesson until he has a chance to get to me, reassuring that I’m in no rush. I sat down in one of the desks in the very far back of the room, ignoring the other student’s stares. I looked at their faces and found them all to be freshmen by their innocent, baby faces.

I listened to the lesson and realized that they were studying the anatomy of a Gavril. I kind of wondered if they capture Gavrils to dissect them as a lesson every year. The room was big enough to fit one inside the classroom afterall.

Eventually, Mr. Nusz passed out papers to the class and had them work on the classwork. Nusz nodded toward a door—his office—and I followed him into it, leaving the class alone. He sat down in his desk and I took my seat opposite of it.

“I can only assume that you’re here to apply for the knighting ceremony, your Highness?” he said casually.

“Zelimir,” I corrected him. “And yes.”

“Alright, just give me a second,” he said as he opened a drawer and searched through some files. He found the file and pulled out a piece of paper. “Fill this out—you can do it at this second, if you wish—and with my stamp of approval you can head toward the temple to start the ceremony whenever you wish. I suggest you start as soon as possible as it is a very long process.”

“I know, thank you,” I said.

He stood up and said, “I should check up on the kids.”

Just as he opened the door, the sound of scrambling footsteps went wild and Nusz said, “How about we get a little bit more productive, huh?”

I chuckled at the students' admiration and curiosity to know what I was up to. I turned to the papers, took the pen and ink that sat on the desk and started filling them out. When I finished, I walked out of the room and walked up to Nusz. I handed him the papers and he took out a stamper from his podium before stamping the paper. I gave him my thanks and started heading for the temple.

When I arrived the steps of the temple, like any other time I’d see it, I got lost in its beauty. As I climbed its many stairs, I admired its huge, magnificent walls and statues. The stained glass windows were similar to the ones in the palace and I noticed one to be of Syveria. The temple gave a very ancient feel to it with brick walls and stone tiles. I entered the temple and the smell of incense burned my nose as soon as I stuck my head inside. The priest welcomed me and knew right away what I was there for. He took me across the altar and through a door that was behind the podium that he’d normally stand behind for services. It lead into a hall in which had a few other doors. We entered the first one to the left and found myself to be standing in front of a confession booth. The king and various other people have told me the steps and progression of the knighting ceremony but I completely forgot the first one: confessing.

The priest pulled the curtain to one of the booths and stepped aside, allowing me to enter. I stepped into the dark, small space, sat down on the stool that was in the middle of the booth, and found one of the walls to have a window with a curtain. A piece of nicely polished wood was placed beneath the window, presumably to allow the penitent to rest their arm on it if they wanted to. Lit candles were placed on the floor and on the piece of wood, being the only thing that illuminated the room.

I heard the priest enter his booth and gave out a sigh. I can make out his face through the sheer curtain of the window but I couldn’t see it clearly. I was told that he can’t see me, though.

“Alright, how about you formally say your name and say what you’re here for,” the priest said in a hushed tone.

“My name is Zelimir Callaghan and I’m here to confess my sins in order to serve as a soldier in Her name,” I said in a whisper. It was the truth but at the same time, it initially wasn’t. My purpose of becoming a soldier was still to protect families and the people in general but after living in Arzialla for so long, the thought of fighting for the wondrous goddess grew in me.

“Have you ever confessed before, Zelimir?”

I hesitated, not knowing if it’s normal for a young man like me to have never confessed before or not. “No.”

“How many sins do you wish to confess?” he asked.

I didn’t answer right away since I was in thought, trying to figure out if certain acts are sins or not. “I’m not sure. I don’t know what would be considered a sin.”

“Well, just say what you thought was possibly wrong. I’ll confirm it for you if it is indeed a sin,” he said gently. "And if you feel like you missed others later on, you're free to come back."

I took a deep breath, thinking of what I should start with. First thing that came into mind was what I did this morning. “I fought this morning. I know fighting is a sin, especially since I spilled first blood. I didn’t do it to defend myself, but to defend a girl from sexual assault.”

“Drawing the sword first is not the way of an Arziallan soldier, but if it is to defend oneself or another, then a confession is not needed.”

I nodded my head as I absorbed his words, soon realizing that he’s unable to see me. I decided to continue. “I drank… heavily. I drank a lot when I lost someone I cared for the second time.”

“Drinking alcohol is indeed a sin as is against the law,” he stated.

“I know. I… I told the king about it, afraid that I’ll become a total mess if I didn’t,” I said. I hastily added, “I thought he’d be able to give me a sense of sanity.”

“That’s good that you did. The king is the highest authority walking this kingdom that you can approach to but there is also of someone higher than he.”

I noticed how he dismissed the part of when I didn’t say anything about confessing sooner—at least for now—and I appreciated how even if I did tell him how I committed something illegally, it’s not his place to arrest me. If the king let it go when I admitted a crime, then no one has a higher say in what happens to me.

The last part that he said finally clicked and I understood. “Syveria.”

“Yes,” he breathed. “She is the one who will truly save you from anything and everything.”

I huffed out a chuckle. “Wouldn’t surprise me. She’s saved me…” I ticked them out in my fingers, “She’s saved me twice.”

I decided to not mention the incident of when I saw her as a child in the palace.

“Are you afraid of her?” he asked. “Is that why you didn’t come to ask for forgiveness?”

My eyebrows came close together in confusion. “Why would I be?”

“Well, she has the ability to save a soul, however, she has the power to destroy one,” he told me. I didn’t know that.

Suddenly, all those times that has happened to me—the loss of my biological family and Mila—made me wonder if it was the works of Syveria.

“I thought that once the deed is done, it’s done, so I didn’t think I should ask Syveria for forgiveness. I thought I should take my punishment deservingly. I do have to ask though, would the loss of loved ones be my punishment?”

He stayed quiet for a moment, probably thinking of what I meant. He slowly said, “No, it wouldn’t. She wouldn’t end a life just to ruin another's. She wouldn’t end a life, at all.”

I thought about that. Mila believed in Syveria but my family didn’t have faith in anything beyond them.

“How about someone who didn't believe her? Would she attempt to end their life?”

He hesitated again. “No. She’s not like that. She’s not a religion and she’s not a true goddess. She sees everybody as an equal, no matter where they’re from or what their beliefs are. It’s hard to explain. She has the power of a goddess, but she always seems to watch in the eyes of the norm, not really always intruding. She works in very mysterious ways.”

That’s basically what Mila told me before. The thought of her reminded me of how she taught me the ways of Syveria and vague details of how love is. After losing her, I lost interest in being friends with anyone, much less being in a serious relationship. Everytime I let someone know me, the ones I personally got close to, they all died so I isolated myself from the world. Not necessarily antisocial but I wouldn’t open up again. Come to think of it, I think this is the closest to opening up that I’ve done in so long.

“Is it a sin to keep to yourself?” I blurted out.

“Pardon me, Prince?”

I silently growled at the formality and bit my tongue in order to keep my mouth shut.

I sighed. “Is it a sin to not be close to anybody?”

“Well, in a way, yes. Yes, it can. Do you feel distant from people?” he asked me.

I suppose after asking questions about something that didn’t necessarily have anything to do with me, he thought this was another. Plus, a prince is normally very outgoing. “No. I’m the one that has been putting people in a distance.”

He nodded in understanding and sighed. “Well, that’s nothing truly bad but it’s something that Syveria wouldn’t be happy with. She was one who would engage in conversation and attention when she lived and whenever she’d find someone in a corner all alone, she’d pull them out of the shadows and make them dance in the sunlight. She just had that charming personality that was able to make a frown upside down within a few seconds.”

That was nice to know but he didn’t entirely answered my question. “So… is being antisocial or unhappy a sin?”

“Both, more of unhappiness. There are cases where you can’t help yourself from feeling unhappy but to detach yourself from the world… it’s just self-torturing. She wouldn’t want you to do that.”

I looked away, taking in that information. I thought about it and