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possessed a kernel of spunk. Some dressing tips and lessons in being more machismo wouldn’t’ve hurt matters. The brilliant young man of elite Jewish descent considered this to be one of the most important nights of his life. Losing one’s virginity had to be one of the greatest milestones of their lives. Stuart ached deep down in his bones to bring such a milestone into fruition. Customers walked in and out of Pet Emporium on one of their busiest Saturdays in months. The Manhattanites ran low on pet food and had to stock up for the coming Fall and Winter months. Dogs barked. Cats meowed. The noise shot from one end of Pet Emporium to the other. Fish of many species swam around the sanctum of their tanks. Birds from the tropics chirped to the beat of their own music. Snakes slithered around inside their cages. A pet store wouldn’t be normal without lots of noise.
Two more conspirators in the well-plotted prank against Stuart were temporarily stationed at the back of the pet store. Abdullah Tariq Muhammad, a native of Nigeria, waited just a few feet from a cage housing a large brown Boa Constrictor snake. Abdullah became a real prize with women on NYU’s campus. His shiny Hershey chocolate skin, bleached white teeth, and solid muscular build, were the features many women craved. Yes, they loved their dark chocolate. He remained their flavor of the month. Saturdays were usually casual days for him, wearing just an African print shirt from his native land and a pair of faded Levi jeans.
David Nguyen, an American-born Korean, parked his stick-like body right next to Abdullah. David also turned a few heads amongst NYU women. He kept his physique lean. Periodically, he got facials and manicures, dressed in fine threads from top New York department stores, and kept the sportiest hairdo with a little help from an expensive styling gel. His parents owned a chain of grocery stores and he didn’t mind helping them spend some of their hard-earned cash.
Abdullah and David were in the very back of the store. The pair zoomed in on Stuart. He was up front helping a mother and her son pick out a puppy. When approached by Anthony and the others to be a part of the prank, they eagerly obliged. Why not have some fun just before graduation? You only lived once. It’s exactly how they approached life. Stuart was so busy up front, until he had no idea two of his fellow NYU students were in the back plotting on him. More customers flooded into Pet Emporium to buy food for their pets or just purchase a beloved animal. Abdullah fished out his cell phone and punched in the numbers to try and locate the master conspirator.
Three short rings were enough for Anthony to pick up. “Yes, Abdullah, what’s the latest?”
“David and I are in the back of the pet store,” Abdullah answered back, slowly backing away from the cage with the large snake.
“John and Taylor will be there in about a half-hour,” Anthony reminded his novice plotters.
“We’ve been keeping track of time.”
“Good.”
“We’ll be leaving here in about ten minutes. I wanna get to the motel to make sure the lights are working correctly.”
“Stuart, what’s he doing?”
“Helping some woman and her son pick out a German Shepard puppy.”
“Stay under the radar with this guy.”
“He won’t be able to detect us.”
“Me and the guys left the motel after we heard gunshots. We’ll be meeting up again to make sure everything falls in place.”
“What’s this about gunshots?”
“The motel’s located in New York’s crackhead capital.”
“Why pick out such a dangerous location?”
“It’s the only spot we could put this prank together.”
“Do you or any of the other guys have a gun?”
“I’ll make sure somebody brings protection.”
“Great!” Abdullah cheered. “David and I will see you at the motel soon.”
“See ya soon.”
Abdullah flipped his cell phone shut. Cautiously, he backed further away from the cage.
David cracked a big smile. “Abdullah, what’re you so afraid of?”
“Snakes, David, snakes!” Abdullah grumbled, the palms of his hands sweating from fright.
“Oh, those reptiles wouldn’t hurt you unless they felt threatened by you.”
“Particularly, I’m afraid of a certain type of snake.”
“What type is that?”
“Diamondback rattlers.”
“Why come?”
“That rattler at the end of their tails, it just gives me the creeps. The sounds of hearing that noise just makes me break out into a cold sweat.”
“Their poisonous fangs are what you have to worry about.”
“Guess you’re right.”
David scratched his head and grunted. “You’ll never guess what I’m afraid of?”
“A vindictive Korean girl with papers to take everything your family worked for.”
“Ha, ha, very funny,” David rejected. “I’m scared to death of tornadoes.”
“Tornadoes? But, why?”
“Every since I was a kid, watching tornadoes sweep houses off the ground, knock down trees, turn cars over, slam people into the side of buildings, I get sick to my stomach thinking about it.”
“It goes to prove, everybody’s got something they’re afraid of.”
“My phobia will always be of tornadoes.”
“Hurricanes, do they bother you?”
“Not really. I do know that they can be just as devastating as a tornado.”
Abdullah looked down at his watch. Time ticked faster than he realized. “David, we’ve got to be going if we’re gonna meet Anthony and the others at the motel.”
When Abdullah and David approached the front of the store, they covertly covered their faces. Even with his thick glasses to see almost anything, Stuart had no clue they’d just walked past him.


CHAPTER—3

DEVASTATINGLY DIRTY DEEDS

Taylor Warrwick and John O’Connor were the final two conspirators in the big prank. They showed up at Pet Emporium the exact moment they were supposed to. Taylor didn’t quite excel in the looks department. He had a mouthpiece fierce enough to charm pretty women or representatives out of collecting big debts from him. His NYU colleagues agreed how he talked senseless crap most of the time. Taylor wished above everything he could’ve been blessed with good skin and thicker hair.
Severe teenage acne and hereditary baldness deducted major points from his overall appearance. What he lacked in good looks, he made up for in shrewdness and intellect. John O’Connor, his NYU sidekick, bolstered good looks, high intellect, and family prominence. John kept his fire red hair full on top and neatly tapered on the sides. A muscular body tone had the ladies trailing him for dates which boosted his shining image. The dark red freckles across his cheeks looked like someone had taken a red magic marker and dotted his face for an art project.
Taylor noticed Stuart towards the middle of the pet store feeding a puppy. “Hey, John, there goes the biggest nerd of the Twenty-First Century.”
John conjured up a big smile. “Yes, there’s the biggest nerd of the new millennium. The bony body frame and weird hairdo and thick glasses and all.”
“It’s amazing, he’s been a virgin his whole life.”
“I’ve known guys dorkier than him who get laid all the time.”
“Dorky guys with lots of money.”
“Not necessarily.”
“C’mon John, how many women do you know will give nerdy guys with no spunk the time of day?”
John sniffed a noseful of the pet shop odor. “Taylor, my buddy-ole-pal, did you see the movie ‘Revenge of the Nerds’?”
“Only about fifty times.”
“Remember the nerd who ended up with one of the prettiest women on the entire college campus?”
“The one who slipped on the Darth Vader mask.”
“Yes, my friend!” John recalled, keeping his voice to a minimum. “It wasn’t about how he looked. It was about how he worked his charm and you know what else on her.”
“In Stuart’s case, he has no charm or nothing else to work on a woman. If we’re going to make our move, it better be right now.”
“You’re right,” Taylor agreed. “The guys at the motel should already be set up.”
Taylor and John made their move towards Stuart. The pair of conspirators waited for him to sit the big bag of puppy food down on the floor.
Taylor marched towards Stuart as though he had the prize of a lifetime to present to him. “Hey Stuart, how’s it going, buddy?”
Stuart jumped at the vibrant octave of his voice. “Hey, hey, what’s going on, Taylor?”
“John and I are here to pick you up for your big date.”
“That’s right, tonight’s the night for my big date!”
John ran his fingers along the metal threads of the puppy cage. “Boy, do we have a real beauty picked out for you.”
“She’s good looking, huh?” Stuart asked with a blast of excitement, fog smearing up his thick bi-focal glasses.
“Better than you could’ve ever hoped.”
Stuart whispered to keep any of the store customers from hearing. “You know, guys, I myself can’t believe that I’m still a virgin. I mean, I’ve tried and asked women out, but they seem to always reject me. Looking around me, there’re guys better and worse than me when it comes to charm and good looks.”
“Sure there are,” Taylor attested. “But tonight, all the women in New York City and beyond are gonna regret they’ve ever turned down Stuart Duffelmeyer.”
John held in a big laugh before he spoke. “That’s right, Stuart. None of the women in this city compares to the knockout babe we’ve got lined up for you.”
Stuart cracked a cheesy grin. “I’ll owe you guys a lifetime favor for this.”
“Ahhhhhh, think nothing of it, Stuart.”
Taylor glanced down at his watch. “If
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