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of the balconies. Kira tried not to touch any of the dirt and dust, which she was sure held tons of nasty insects she would rather keep away from, and followed Tristan’s exact movements as he confidently strode toward a second door. Cobwebs draped from the handle, and Tristan swiped them away. They were definitely not supposed to be up here, but she was too intrigued to see what waited at the end of the climb and too scared to turn around and face the darkness alone.

Kira’s breath became labored as they walked farther and farther up the never-ending staircase that she could only assume belonged to the steeple. Finally, she saw light and as she turned around the circular steps, a window appeared. She peeked through the grimy glass to see that they were well above the city skyline.

"We’re almost at the top," Tristan looked back to tell her as if he had heard her stop.

Kira started climbing again, energized by the fact they had almost reached their destination. At last, the steps gave way to a wooden platform, and Kira was greeted by church bells and a long rope that hung through a hole in the floor. She followed Tristan through the maze of bells, until he finally sat down on a cushioned bench right next to a huge window. Using his sleeve, he cleaned the dust away. When Kira looked outside, she could see for miles.

"Wow," was all she could say.

Kira glanced toward the harbor and saw Fort Sumter and Battery Park for the second time that day, but now it was from above. The mansions seemed small, and even the trees looked like toys from so high up. She swore she could see all the way to the ocean, and she counted the sailboats in the harbor. From this vantage point, they looked more like white speckles than large ships.

"I know, it’s pretty amazing right? Best view in the city." Tristan motioned to the other side of the bench. She sat down while still soaking in the scene.

"How’d you find out about this place?" Kira looked at him and noticed he was just as caught up by the sight as she was.

"My mother showed me.” He paused, and Kira saw his eyes lose focus as he jumped back into his own memory. "It was a long time ago," he said after a few moments of silence.

"Do you miss her?" she asked, guessing she must have died when he was young. Tristan nodded and she saw him retreat again.

"You can talk to me." She reached out to grab his hand. He met her gaze when their fingers touched. Sadness laced his melancholic blue eyes, but Kira didn’t know what to do about it.

"I believe you," he said, grasping her hand tighter, and they remained quiet for a moment, just feeling comforted by one another’s presence. Kira looked at her palm resting on Tristan’s lap and wondered if she could have ever guessed that the day would lead her here.

In the corner of her eye, she noticed something peeking out of Tristan’s pocket—something she hadn’t seen when he had been standing.

"What’s that?" she asked, and he followed her gaze to see what she meant.

A second later, he pulled a small moleskin notebook from his pocket and handed it to her. "It’s just sketches, you can take a look if you want."

"You draw?" She opened the book.

"Just as a hobby."

Kira imagined more than saw his shrug because she quickly became engrossed by his small pencil drawings. There were pages of hands that were perfectly shaded and seemed to leap from the paper. There were outlined sketches of people playing in parks, dogs running, and children hanging on swings. She came upon a series of pages dedicated to different people sitting on benches—one an old woman whose laugh lines told the story of a beautiful life, another a homeless man who was draped in newspapers for warmth, a third a couple holding hands and staring out toward their future.

"Tristan, these are amazing," Kira told him without pausing to look up. She continued to flip through the small notebook, slowly taking in his work. "Seriously, this isn’t just a hobby."

"Thanks," he told her when she gave it back.

"Have you ever thought about art school?"

"Not for me." He shook his head while stuffing the notebook into his pocket.

"Why not? You should let people teach you. Those drawings have a real personality to them. I can tell exactly who the people you are picturing are just by the expressions you give them." Tristan shrugged in response, which just made Kira push the point even more. "I get the whole bad boy thing you do, but I know it’s just a front. You really care about people. I can tell from the drawings that you choose people you feel for in some way."

He sighed when she finished talking, as if he had known she would notice that but had hoped she wouldn't. Then his expression changed so his lip curved up and his eyes gleamed in a mischievous way. "A front, huh? I just broke you into a church."

"You broke me into a church to show me a beautiful view and a place that is sacred to you. Not exactly the same as breaking and entering," she challenged back.

"Ah, but we used the trap door, which most people don’t know about. I could have just taken you up the janitor's steps."

"Would those have been cobweb free?" He nodded and Kira slapped his arm. "Jerk."

"Come on, it was much more adventurous my way. Admit it, you were scared but secretly excited."

Kira smiled, whispering, "That’s generally how you make me feel."

The words popped out of her mouth before she had time to think. She cringed and silently cursed herself for basically admitting she liked him.

"Me too," he whispered, more to himself than to her.

She looked up, but Tristan gazed out the window. She knew his thoughts were churning, and she wished she could peek inside of his head for just a minute.

"Tristan?" she asked to see if he was listening.

"Yeah," he said distantly.

"Why did you save my life? You know I heard what you said to your friends, but for some reason I can’t believe it."

He turned to look at her now, and Kira was certain he could read the confusion on her face. His chest expanded slowly in a prolonged breath and his eyes remained closed for an instant too long. He was thinking about how to tell her something. Kira could almost see the secrets floating in his head and could feel him struggle with how much to say. "I saved you because I wanted to protect you, and I still do. Some small part of me won’t stop believing you are precious to me, even if I’m not supposed to feel that way."

She inched closer, trying to read his mind with her proximity. "Who says you can’t? Your friends?"

He laughed bitterly. "No, my so-called friends are the only ones making sense. We just can’t ever be, Kira."

"Why?"

"Someday, you’ll understand." He leaned back against the wall, away from her presence.

"God, I am so sick of everyone telling me I’ll eventually understand all of this stuff. Luke keeps telling me that, like some patronizing father who knows everything about my life, but won’t give me any insight. And now you! I never expected this from you. What happened to ‘Mr. Breaking the Rules’?"

Kira started pacing around their little corner, trying to make sense of everything. She was sure Luke and Tristan and his crowd all knew something she didn’t. They were all keeping the same secret from her. When would she realize it? When would she finally connect the dots and stop feeling like the baby that everyone had to coddle?

"I just can’t be the one to tell you, to see you look at me with hatred, because you will hate me." Pain passed over Tristan’s face and he winced.

"Look, Tristan, I get the whole self-loathing thing you have going on. I can see that you’re troubled somehow by the way you retreat into your thoughts and lose track of the world. But don’t presume to know my mind. You have no idea how I will react to anything. Everyone has some sort of past to hide. The fact that yours may be darker than most doesn’t scare me. It makes me want to help you, not hate you." She practically spat those last few words, frustration at an all time high.

He stood, and she knew his anger had mounted with her little speech. "Kira, you just don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not my past that you will hate me for, but today. Today, I let myself believe we lived in a different time, and when I saw you standing at the park, I couldn’t help but be glad we could finally be alone together. But today, I let you feel for me and let my walls come down for an instant, and that is what you will hate me for, for the moments of intimacy that I will cherish but you will look back on and loathe."

Kira hadn’t realized the fight had brought them face to face and mere inches apart. Like people say, anger is just one small step from passion, so when she spoke, she hardly realized what she would say until she said it. "Well, if it’s intimacy with you that I’ll come to hate, I might as well enjoy it while it lasts."

Kira took one small step forward and their bodies melted into one another’s. Quickly, his hands cupped her cheeks and his lips were on hers. She reached her hands around Tristan’s back to pull him closer. Heat rushed through her body and she moved with Tristan as he pushed her back against the wall, encasing her body within his, pulling his arms around her waist. Her hands found their way to his head and she grasped his thick black hair, running her fingers through it. His lips moved from her lips, down past her ear to the base of her neck.

"Kira," Tristan sighed. But then his body stiffened and he pulled away. "I have to go," he said with a firmer voice.

Tristan turned away from her and left, disappearing before Kira even had time to react to what had just happened. Instead, she sank down the wall she had just been pressed against, gazed at the empty spot Tristan had filled moments ago, and began to cry.

Kira needed to understand whatever was going on. The frustration of not knowing was driving her crazy. Luke didn’t want her spending time with Tristan, and even Tristan didn’t want her spending time with Tristan, so she decided there was only one thing to do—spend more time around Tristan. He was the key to finding out her role in everything, and she knew he wanted to be close to her even if another part of him fought that feeling. Watching him run away had just made Kira even more determined to solve this mystery revolving around her, even if she would come to regret losing this ignorance.

Kira stood up and wiped her face free of tears. She looked out at the sun setting over Charleston and knew it was time to leave the church and what had happened there behind for a little while.

She grabbed her bag, which she had set down on the bench, and noticed that Tristan had dropped his notebook on the way out. She leaned down under the bench and slid the notebook from its hiding place in the dark. In place of a novel, she knew what she would be looking at before bed tonight.

After finding her way through the bells and back down the steps, Kira searched for that janitor’s staircase Tristan had mentioned. She walked in the dark around the circular steps three times before finally finding a small knob beautifully free of cobwebs and dirt, and slowly opened the door. This path led right down to the front lobby of the church, and Kira silently cursed Tristan as she placed her foot on each superbly polished step. She quickly walked through the lobby and out the door, thankful no one was there to see her sneaking out. After a bit more walking, Kira finally managed to find her car. When she got home, her parents were not pleased.

"Where have you been all day? I was worried sick." Her mother barraged her as soon as she opened the front door. Her father stood in the background nodding his head and giving her a stern look. "I expected you to come home hours ago. Isn’t this why we bought you a phone, so you could call