The Raven by Jenny Garcia (thriller book recommendations .txt) 📕

is so close I can feel his body heat radiating off him something that often happens when he is enraged. He never cared about my feelings in the past and I don't understand what has changed to make him feel compelled to show them now. Too little too late.

 

My silence further angering him, “Answer me!” He yells. I push myself back from the wall with my foot and shove my hands into his hard chest. Muscle rippling under my touch. “Fine you want to know, I’ll tell you.” He crosses his arms and waits patiently. “We were mates Ares and you denied me that one connection that we all search for, the one purpose for life.” He turned away for a moment, “Oh now you don’t want to hear anymore.” He turns his head back to me, “When Khan brought you here you I didn’t want anything to do with you, you’re right.” Hearing the words drove a hot knife into my heart. I had always thought this but hearing him say it hurt more than I could have ever imagined. He continued the conversation making him more uncomfortable by the minute. “I was a different man then closed off to all emotion and I had no desire to find my mate. I was consumed with the love of war and destruction a woman would slow me down” When breeds emotions are erratic and their judgment clouded they could be standing in front of their mate and not even know even if the other person felt it immediately. You have to be open to the bond or you will miss it. Ares had a one track mind and love was not it. We spent years around each other and no matter what I did he would not see the truth and didn't care too. He continued almost out of breath, “When you left I felt a tear in my soul that I didn't understand. Something that couldn't be repaired. I didn't know what to do or how to fix it.” I cut him off, “So why did you not come after me, send  me a letter while I was training?” He started to pace back and forth, “I still did not believe that you were the cause of the pain. I was to stubborn to realize that you were what you were.” My eyebrow raised, “What am I to you Ares?” He looks to me with a twisted face. “You know what I am talking about Enyo.” I decide to play this out. I have waited so many years to hear him say the words and there is no way that I am going to let him get out of it now. I stare at him patiently and wait. After a pregnant pause he lets out a huff, ‘You’re my mate Enyo and you know it. Khan brought you here for that reason because he already knew but I was not informed that was the purpose of it. I had no idea that you were until Grizel told me.” Grizel told him? Yet she never mentioned it in her letters to me. All the times she could have told me and she didn’t. We were closer than ever, how could she keep something like that from me? I turn away from him the pain of Grizels memory creeping into my heart ripping it apart piece by piece. Tears threaten to break through the barrier I have constructed and my will begins to wither. Arms thread around my waist and warmth presses against my back. The feel of his chest rise and fall against me brings comfort that I was not expecting. I take my hand and ripe one of his arms away from my body almost disappointed at the lose of contact. I turn back to him no longer able to contain my tears, they spill over my lashes and drip down my face, “Ares why now? Why do you even care? You had so many years to make this right!?” My words crack with frustration, anger and hurt as he stares at me blankly. He takes a step forward in a commanding voice, “Do you not recall the fact that I was told you were dead?” I throw my head back, “Did you not feel through the mate link that I was still alive?” He turns to the side and stomps toward the wall throwing his fist into the soundproof material making barely a sound.

 

The material crumples and cracks at his powerful strike and fear tingles its way up my spine. He turns back to me his eyes glassy, “I never had a chance to link into our bond. I never believed that you were my mate in the first place, but when Grizel told me I knew it was true and I informed Khan that I wanted to retrieve you and bring you back.” My head is spinning from learning all of these new facts. He did want me? He even tried to bring me back to the Castle to be with him. My heart swells with the romantic gesture. He continues on,hands open and reaching for me, “Enyo...I am sorry that I did not accept you when you were first brought to me and I am sorry for all the years that have passed. I have been a coward. When Khan told me that you were dead I should have looked for you myself but I was following him blindly and I regret every moment that we did not spend together and all the events that lead after.” My throat dries and words escape me. He stares at me waiting for a response and I feel like I am staring down my old drill instructor each waiting for the other to blink first. I don't know what to say. This was not something that I expect to happen. One side of me wants to rush into his arms and envelop myself in him accepting his apology but then again why should I? I don't need a man in my life I have proven that to myself time and time again. In battle I have held my own tearing down enemy after enemy and yet this man has me weak in the knees and unsure of my own thoughts. He stares back at me worry painting his expression, “Please Enyo...say something.” I look to the ground and begin to fidget with my hands. Something that I have not done in many years a nervous tick I thought I snubbed out. My voice shakes as I try to keep my composure, “What do you want me to say Ares?” He steps forward, “I want to be forgiven. Now that I know you’re alive I want you by my side, in battle and for the rest of our lives.” Tears again spill over my lashes my face already wet, “I don’t know if I can Ares. I have been living with this pain for so long…” His expression changes and sadness envelopes him. He looks to the ground and my heart breaks. “I will give you some time to think about what I have said. Enyo I am being truthful and you know it. I was a fool but I have seen the error of my ways and I want to make them right.” He lowers his heads turning around and left the soundproof room without another word.

 

My head begins to spin with everything that just occurred. What am I supposed to think now? He thought that I was dead for all these years and that is why he never tried to find me. An apology I was never expecting...I have no idea how to process this. I lean back against the wall and slide down until I feel the cool stone through my leather pants. My black leather boots scrap against the floor as I extend out my legs letting the backs of my legs cool at the touch of stone. I stare down at my hands and try to decide what I want. Do I want to be with Ares? After all these years of convincing myself that he was a bastard, will I ever be able to feel love for him. My wolf stirs with anger. She doesn't understand why I hesitate and it makes her uneasy, pacing inside me wanting to break free. She hasn’t been out on a run for a while now and this new development with Ares is making her restless. Pulling my legs in and rising from the floor, I decide that a run is not such a bad idea. Leaving the room and closing the door behind me I look down either side of the hall and see no sign of Ares. I rush back towards the East Wing entrance and prepare for a long overdue run. My wolf howls from within knowing what is coming, hopefully she won't make a b-line for Ares. Although we can shift at will and can remain conscious and aware of our actions your wolf has the ability to take over if her will is strong enough and my wolf has been waiting for a shift so she can get back to Ares. Traitorous bitch.

Chapter 3

 

As I make my way through the East Wing door she suns warms my face calming me slightly. I run out no thinking about who is around and leap into the air and shifting in the blink of an eye. For some the change can be painful but it has been many years since my first shift and I have become accustom to the pain. The first time I did shift is still fresh in my mind. It was a hot summer day and Ares was showing off all the different animals he could change into. He picked on me often because I didn't let my wolf out, but the truth was I didn't know how yet. I had enough of his shit that day and snapped. My wof surfaced without my permission and it was the most painful experience I had ever had. My wolf lunged at Ares sick of his teasing but before she could sink her teeth into him she changed into an Owl and hoovered above her as she jumped into the air chomping her teeth with every leap. The elders told me that the pain from shifting was not only because it was my first time but also because I had not commanded her to rise, she rose on her own accord. That was the last time I let her surface on her own. Even during battle I try to stay in Human form unless it is absolutely necessary to release her. She is a merciless beast and during war, she is a force to be reckoned with and I love every minute of it. We are two different entities but at the same time the same. Neither of us can live without the other. Our actions are one in the same and souls combined. If you do not form that connection with your wolf early on than there is little chance that they will every obey you and controlling them is almost impossible.

 

 

As my paws hit