Angel Dust by Aurora Morgenstern (summer beach reads .TXT) 📕

days. M ypsychologist always told me that if I feel like I am losing control over a situation to find a gesture that gives me a sense of control, oddly enough in my case nervously clutching my t-shirt has always worked wonders for me. I feel the calming effect of the gesture and teh distraction of the memory flow through me. We reach the bottom of the stairs and Nathaniel just pulls me in without asking and ascends, I can feel the warmth radiating of his body and for a few second I wallow in the pleasant warmth. He sets me down gently just outside Michaels house and I am suddendly aware of every space between us, the cold already creeping back into my bones, reclaiming me. He doesn´t budge from his spot and I get the uneasy feeling that he is expecting something from me. 

"Thank you for the lovely evening", I say sincerely, hoping to break the tension that has manifested itself between us. I look up at him, in the moonlight all the sharp angles on his face are softened.

"Same place, same time tomorrow?", he asks confidently and gives me a killer smile. How could I refuse that?

"Sure", I reply trying not to let on that I am really freezing my angelic butt off and would like to get inside the house as quikly as possible. He leans and and kisses me on the check, I am a little too shocked to do anything about it and within a blur he has turned around with a last wink and is striding away towards his own house. That was a totally platonic kiss, don´t get any funny ideas! I warn myself, unsure why I think it necessary to warn myself. Nathaniel and me are friends, totally platonic friends. Oh get a grip on yourself, I can´t help but roll my eyes at myself as I unlock the door and steo into the welcoming warmth of my new home.

Something darker

 Michael and I pass breakfast talking and joking with each other, he doesn´t ask where I went the evening before and I don´t tell him. For now I enjoy having a little secret hangout spot with Nathaniel, he has taken me there every evening for the last week now and I have a feeling we have become good friends already. He promised that today he would introduce me to some other angels so that I can hopefully have more than one friend, I don´t really expect to become popular in a day but it would definetly be nice to know some more people. I have never been the popular kid, rather the quiet kid in the corner observing the others from time to time when my eyes came off the sketch pad. 

"Today you´ll be training with Raphael, I´m sorry but I won´t be able to take you out flying today. There is something I need to attend to and I might be gone for a few days, will you be okay on your own or do you want to stay with Gabriel?", urgent business? I wonder what said business is.

"Michael I´m an adult, I think I will be quite alright staying here by myself"

"I just thought you might not fancy being alone, I didn´t mean to offend", he says softly. The sun falls on his hair in a way that makes the golden shimmer in it more evident, creating the illusion of a halo. I feel a subtle itch in my fingers to draw him, I question wether he would let me if I was to ask him. 

"Thanks but I´ll be alright. So I get to meet your brother Raphael today hmmm? Care to give me some background info so I know what to expect? I have heard a few things about him already...", he looks surprised for a moment and then sighs heavily.

"Raphael is a bit of an open book, he can and will tell you what he thinks of you, he doesn´t mean to be offensive so don´t take everything he says to heart. He is an impressive warrior and I could think of no better teacher for you. I´m sure the two of you will get along well just beware he can be quite...charming", Michael sounds a little worried and for a moment he reminds me of those dad cliches. 

"Don´t worry Michael, I don´t think I´ll be suspect of those charms in any case. I´m very good at avoiding attention, you could say it´s my superpower", I smile almost wearily. Not being noticed isn´t always such a great thing.

"I wouldn´t be so sure of that", he mutters quietly under his breath, a gesture that seems painfully human on him. In some odd way it suits him though, I like him much better when he does these little human things that, he´s less of an untouchable all mighty angel then. He clears his throat. "I better get going then, Raphael will come around for your training some time this afternoon so make sure you´re there. Believe me you don´t want him going looking for you", he says this in a way that makes me wonder on what kind sof occasions Raphael has gone looking for Michael and what exactly happened. I make a mental note to ask either Nathaniel or Raphael himself. I get up to hug Michael goodbye, he doesn´t seem to stoked to be hugged but he permits it and after a very long, awkward pause he hugs me back. He says goodbye and disappears upstairs presumably to get his things. I know that I won´t be seeing him walk out the front door so I sneak to the backgarden to watch him take off. It´s breathtaking to watch him spread out his enormous wings, the way the light catches and reflects on the gold dust that upon closer inspection runs in a complicated pattern along his wings. His face is illuminated by the bright early morning sun and I can only describe the sight as glorious, when I look at him during these moments I understand while the whole world is so obsessed with angels, why the greatsest artists could not help but fruther imoortalizse them in their works. This time something is different however, Michael is wearing armour and I can see a broadsword fastened to his back just between his wings. Is he going off to fight some battle? What kind of battle needs interferance from an archangel?, I admit that I am worried about Michael. He is one out of quite the small curlce of angels I have gotten to know and over the short time that I have known him he has grown on me and I know that I already deeply care about his well being. There is also the matter that without him I am going to be more than lost in this world. 

"Checking out the man himself I see, here I thought I had a shot", I hear a voice next to my ear and jump in shock. I turn to the side to see a grinning Nathaniel. 

"Thought I told you that sneaking up on people isn´t very nice!", I complain and glare at him playfully. 

"Thought I told you that my rudeness is uncurable? Now that Michael´s gone, have you got any plans this wondeful day?", he asks me cheerfully and I roll my eyes at him which causes him to grin yet again. It´s almost as if that devilish grin is glued to his face. 

"What are you, a cheshire cat? Well I do have to train with Raphael later, but how about I give you a call when I´m done?", I realise my error just as the words are out. There are no phones or internet or anything of that sort in heaven. Their advances seem to have gotten just as far as electricity, beacsue for some reason Michael does have a fully equipped kitchen. 

"If only I was a cheshire cat, I could think of many an occasion where being invisible would be of advantage", he says woefully. "Here, I´ll show you a neat little trick that is so much more fun than a phone", I look at him expectantly as he holds out his hand. I wait for him to move it or to tell me wether I ahve to do anything, but as I open ym mouth to speak he puts a finger on his other hand on his lips. And then I see it, a small blue colibri comes flapping towards us and lands on his hand. He cups his hand oh so sligthly as if to provide more comfort for the little bird and whispers something to the small creature. The little birds head turns and looks at me through his beady eyes and makes a small chirping noise. Nathaniel looks at the bird and whispers to it again, in a more persuasive tone, he frowns as the bird chrips and looks at me. Then he looks back at the bird and whispers to it more intently. I only remember then that Nathaniel can communicate with birds and taht the two of them must have been talking about me. I suddendly wonder what exactly the bird is saying. Finally, Nathaniel sighs and looks up at me apologetically.

"They´re very suspicious creatures and the colibris in particular are a little arrogant. However I convinced this little fellow and believe me I had to bribe that fucker", the word sounds to harsh coming from him and I look at him in surprise. He´s the first angel to have cursed around me, I didn´t even know you could swear in heaven. i somehow just assumed that god himself would smite you if you did dare to use any kind of abusice language.

"Convinced him of what exactly? And how does one bribe a bird?"

"To act as a messenger, preferably I would have gotten and owl or a raven but she was the first to answer my call. Oh you know I had to promise her to listen to her new song and to help her catch more worms with my magic tricks as she calls them", he shakes his head in what I would call disbelief.

"How can she act as a messenger if I don´t speak bird", I ask dumbfounded.

"Simple, if you keep this charm with you,  she will be able to find you and deliver letters. It only works for this particular bird because the charm has one of her feathers on it", he throws the little bird an apologetic look and pulls one of its colourful feathers. The bird goes into a lithargy of what must be birdly profanity because she is now angrily hopping on Nathaniels hand, picking away at his hand. He gives her a warning look but I can see the affection in his eyes. He sets the bird down gently on the grass and carefully fastens the feather to a small leatherband with small pearls on it. "Give me your arm", he directs me and I obediently hold out my arm to him, his fingers brush against ym skin lightly as he ties the leather strap around my wrist, the feather tickles slightly as it slips down into position as I drop my arm back to my side.

"Thank you", I say and