It's Not What You Think by Judy Colella (motivational novels txt) 📕

Twilight Model - Yup. Werewolves got involved in this one, too. Only now they're not really traditional werewolves (those are mentioned but never shown) but shape-shifting Native Americans. What?! And of course, they're young and attractive, and are the reason way too many kids born after the movie came out are named Jacob. The whole ridiculous story can be summed up like this:

Edward: Bella is mine.

Jacob: Blood-sucker.

Edward: Dog.

Bella: Boys! Knock it off, and help me get out of this bush I just fell into after tripping over my own foot.

Edward: I'm going to marry her, Jacob.

Jacob: Over my dead body.

Edward: Really? You really used that old cliche, Jacob? Fine - here's the typical comeback: over your dead body, eh? Well, that can be arranged!

Bella: Boys! Grow the heck up, will you! I'm going to marry whoever I choose, and - sorry Jake - I choose Edward. Hey, um, may I still ride that kickin' motorcycle we worked on, Jacob?

Edward and Jacob stare at each other and burst out laughing. The laughing stops, however, when Bella marries Edward, has his kid (that kills her in the process of being born), gets turned into vampire herself, and Jacob (OMG, too gross!) falls in love with their baby girl. Wow.

Netflix Model - In typical over-the-top Netflix fashion, a series is made about...creatures...things that are a wacko combination of both werewolf and vampire, with an actual werewolf that eats its own discarded body after the transformation. Way to go, Netflix. Way to go. [Barf]

And there you have it. Why you have it is because this story (what - there's an actual story in here somewhere?) is about both non-species, but it's not what you think. That said, here goes the story. Welcome to Chapter One.

Publication Date: 09-02-2015

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