Member Anthology of Best Fake Dating Ads Writing Challenge by BookRix Members (good summer reads .TXT) 📕

reality check

63 yr. old women seeks man who doesn't think Holiday meals appear miraculously! Must own vegetable peeler and know howto use it. Must know how to mash potatoes. If such a man exists, don't bother to call me...I'd probably die of shock! Oh yeah, one more thing, you must help to clean up after these miracles on a plate, and take out the garbage!!!


Paulashene

TROLLING FOR DOLLARS dating ad

PROMISE$ PARTIES PRIVATION PERKS
X-wife, $eeking #3 joker
2 take up financial $lack.
White, 5 foot 2, eyes blue.
Cushy. Fab in BD {bad/bed
u pick}, loaded only need
apply. Lou$y attitude OK
with buck$. Waiting with
bated breath & star$ in my
eye$. Plea$e call:
pay-for-wife or 729-367-9433
$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$
$CINTILLATING EXPENSIVE PROPERTY


Writer723

I don't ask for much in a man. I don't care if you're short, fat and bald. I don't mind if you're tall, skinny and bushy-headed. It doesn't bother me if you're a little rough around the edges, as long as you're gentle with me. On a more personal note, I'm not looking for a big loggerhead. I'm not searching for a little peanut. I just want an average member of the club. To sum it up, I need a man who has a whole lot of B's. A bearded, burly, brawny, bald-headed, beer-drinking, big-bellied, bad boy. Need I say more?

And what will you be getting with me? Well, I'm a wannabe shrink and an aspiring nutritionist/fitness trainer. I'll explore your mind, ply you with pills and have you on the treadmill/racetrack every day. I'll only let you eat tofu, hummus, tahini, alfalfa sprouts, edamame, soy and veggie burgers. Do I sound like a real winner of a mate? If so, then please contact me at: 1-800-IN-SHAPE 1-800-IN-SHAPE .


Lazarus67

Fun loving male, who love to play around, is looking for a hot mama to share his sandbox. If she looks like Jessica Biel, I'll try not to get sand on her muffin. I love to share my icecream and toys, but only if she shares too. I'm willing to share my lolipop, if she will let me have a bite of her twinkie. If you are that little sweetie, call me, but not when my mom's home.
1-555-605-8000
Little Loverboy
Oh, got to run now. My school bus is here.


Mae.day13

Come'ere Baby-Wanted

A sexually appealling guy with 6 pack and tanned skin
MUST BE SEXUALLY INACTIVEin easier words, cannot have kids
if you did not understand the blue writing without looking at the red then you're not right for me
must be cute with ginger or very dark brown hair.
must be able to handle a tomboy
MUST BE WEALTHY
LU baby, come and get me!
~K ^3^


Dallia

win-a-date

Do you like bigfoot? Does he make you wet? I hope so.If this ad concerns you continue reading about how you can make a date with him. If not then stop reading this. Anyways you can win a date with one of the hottest guys around. he has long hair and huge feet. You know what they say about a man with big feet. This sexy peice of beast will just love you. All you have to do is be our 1223 caller to this number 313-big-foot.

Please remember that if bigfoot eats you we are not responsible.Cheers!!!


Mromo13

short overweight cuddler seeks mate

short overwieght cuddler seeking not so talkative but attactive woman with money to support myself and my two overweight kids must be kind, giving in and out of the love room, a good cook, and willing to give up lifes dreams for a life of mediocre sex, and possibly minor enslavement, did i mention not so talkative


Cactucrose

Playful feline ~ ISO ~ pure gold Beast

Playful next door Beauty who won the backyard war with a beastly wimp wallowing in an endless sea of inert, drooping loneliness and warning labels on his underground love recipes, then triumphed over the nosy condo neighbors with only minor damage to smoking gun ~ is looking for a well-built Beast with a winning Mr. Mom smile to mellow her restless heart. Let’s tunnel out together for a ‘bite’ to eat at Twilight Willy’s, when your hair stops a’smokin and your knees quit a’rockin and your pure gold nuggets cool down. Email me at [email protected] for a playdate.

Publication Date: 12-09-2010

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