Scenes from a Courtesan's Life by Honoré de Balzac (e reader TXT) 📕

anything but sound security. In matters of art he had the good sense to go, cash in hand, to experts in every branch, and had recourse to the best architect, the best surgeon, the greatest connoisseur in pictures or statues, the cleverest lawyer, when he wished to build a house, to attend to his health, to purchase a work of art or an estate. But as there are no recognized experts in intrigue, no connoisseurs in love affairs, a banker finds himself in difficulties when he is in love, and much puzzled as to the management of a woman. So Nucingen could think of no better method than that he had hitherto pursued--to give a sum of money to some Frontin, male or female, to act and think for him.

Madame de Saint-Esteve alone could carry out the plan imagined by the Baroness. Nucingen bitterly regretted having quarreled with the odious old clothes-seller. However, feeling confident of the attractions of his cash-box and the soothing documents signed Garat, he rang for his man and told him in inquire for the repulsive widow in the Rue Saint-Marc, and desire her to come to see him.

In Paris extremes are made to meet by passion. Vice is constantly binding the rich to the poor, the great to the mean. The Empress consults Mademoiselle Lenormand; the fine gentleman in every age can always find a Ramponneau.

The man returned within two hours.

"Monsieur le Baron," said he, "Madame de Saint-Esteve is ruined."

"Ah! so much de better!" cried the Baron in glee. "I shall hafe her safe den."

"The good woman is given to gambling, it would seem," the valet went on. "And, moreover, she is under the thumb of a third-rate actor in a suburban theatre, whom, for decency's sake, she calls her godson. She is a first-rate cook, it would seem, and wants a place."

"Dose teufel of geniuses of de common people hafe alvays ten vays of making money, and ein dozen vays of spending it," said the Baron to himself, quite unconscious that Panurge had thought the same thing.

He sent his servant off in quest of Madame de Saint-Esteve, who did not come till the next day. Being questioned by Asie, the servant revealed to this female spy the terrible effects of the notes written to Monsieur le Baron by his mistress.

"Monsieur must be desperately in love with the woman," said he in conclusion, "for he was very near dying. For my part, I advised him never to go back to her, for he will be wheedled over at once. A woman who has already cost Monsieur le Baron five hundred thousand francs, they say, without counting what he has spent on the house in the Rue Saint-Georges! But the woman cares for money, and for money only.--As madame came out of monsieur's room, she said with a laugh: 'If this goes on, that slut will make a widow of me!'"

"The devil!" cried Asie; "it will never do to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs."

"Monsieur le Baron has no hope now but in you," said the valet.

"Ay! The fact is, I do know how to make a woman go."

"Well, walk in," said the man, bowing to such occult powers.

"Well," said the false Saint-Esteve, going into the sufferer's room with an abject air, "Monsieur le Baron has met with some difficulties? What can you expect! Everybody is open to attack on his weak side. Dear me, I have had my troubles too. Within two months the wheel of Fortune has turned upside down for me. Here I am looking out for a place!--We have neither of us been very wise. If Monsieur le Baron would take me as cook to Madame Esther, I would be the most devoted of slaves. I should be useful to you, monsieur, to keep an eye on Eugenie and madame."

"Dere is no hope of dat," said the Baron. "I cannot succeet in being de master, I am let such a tance as----"

"As a top," Asie put in. "Well, you have made others dance, daddy, and the little slut has got you, and is making a fool of you.--Heaven is just!"

"Just?" said the Baron. "I hafe not sent for you to preach to me----"

"Pooh, my boy! A little moralizing breaks no bones. It is the salt of life to the like of us, as vice is to your bigots.--Come, have you been generous? You have paid her debts?"

"Ja," said the Baron lamentably.

"That is well; and you have taken her things out of pawn, and that is better. But you must see that it is not enough. All this gives her no occupation, and these creatures love to cut a dash----"

"I shall hafe a surprise for her, Rue Saint-Georches--she knows dat," said the Baron. "But I shall not be made a fool of."

"Very well then, let her go."

"I am only afrait dat she shall let me go!" cried the Baron.

"And we want our money's worth, my boy," replied Asie. "Listen to me. We have fleeced the public of some millions, my little friend? Twenty-five millions I am told you possess."

The Baron could not suppress a smile.

"Well, you must let one go."

"I shall let one go, but as soon as I shall let one go, I shall hafe to give still another."

"Yes, I understand," replied Asie. "You will not say B for fear of having to go on to Z. Still, Esther is a good girl----"

"A ver' honest girl," cried the banker. "An' she is ready to submit; but only as in payment of a debt."

"In short, she does not want to be your mistress; she feels an aversion.--Well, and I understand it; the child has always done just what she pleased. When a girl has never known any but charming young men, she cannot take to an old one. You are not handsome; you are as big as Louis XVIII., and rather dull company, as all men are who try to cajole fortune instead of devoting themselves to women.--Well, if you don't think six hundred thousand francs too much," said Asie, "I pledge myself to make her whatever you can wish."

"Six huntert tousant franc!" cried the Baron, with a start. "Esther is to cost me a million to begin with!"

"Happiness is surely worth sixteen hundred thousand francs, you old sinner. You must know, men in these days have certainly spent more than one or two millions on a mistress. I even know women who have cost men their lives, for whom heads have rolled into the basket.--You know the doctor who poisoned his friend? He wanted the money to gratify a woman."

"Ja, I know all dat. But if I am in lofe, I am not ein idiot, at least vile I am here; but if I shall see her, I shall gife her my pocket-book----"

"Well, listen Monsieur le Baron," said Asie, assuming the attitude of a Semiramis. "You have been squeezed dry enough already. Now, as sure as my name is Saint-Esteve--in the way of business, of course--I will stand by you."

"Goot, I shall repay you."

"I believe you, my boy, for I have shown you that I know how to be revenged. Besides, I tell you this, daddy, I know how to snuff out your Madame Esther as you would snuff a candle. And I know my lady! When the little huzzy has once made you happy, she will be even more necessary to you than she is at this moment. You paid me well; you have allowed yourself to be fooled, but, after all, you have forked out.--I have fulfilled my part of the agreement, haven't I? Well, look here, I will make a bargain with you."

"Let me hear."

"You shall get me the place as cook to Madame, engage me for ten years, and pay the last five in advance--what is that? Just a little earnest-money. When once I am about madame, I can bring her to these terms. Of course, you must first order her a lovely dress from Madame Auguste, who knows her style and taste; and order the new carriage to be at the door at four o'clock. After the Bourse closes, go to her rooms and take her for a little drive in the Bois de Boulogne. Well, by that act the woman proclaims herself your mistress; she has advertised herself to the eyes and knowledge of all Paris: A hundred thousand francs.--You must dine with her--I know how to cook such a dinner!--You must take her to the play, to the Varietes, to a stage-box, and then all Paris will say, 'There is that old rascal Nucingen with his mistress.' It is very flattering to know that such things are said.--Well, all this, for I am not grasping, is included for the first hundred thousand francs.--In a week, by such conduct, you will have made some way----"

"But I shall hafe paid ein hundert tousant franc."

"In the course of the second week," Asie went on, as though she had not heard this lamentable ejaculation, "madame, tempted by these preliminaries, will have made up her mind to leave her little apartment and move to the house you are giving her. Your Esther will have seen the world again, have found her old friends; she will wish to shine and do the honors of her palace--it is in the nature of things: Another hundred thousand francs!--By Heaven! you are at home there, Esther compromised--she must be yours. The rest is a mere trifle, in which you must play the principal part, old elephant. (How wide the monster opens his eyes!) Well, I will undertake that too: Four hundred thousand--and that, my fine fellow, you need not pay till the day after. What do you think of that for honesty? I have more confidence in you than you have in me. If I persuade madame to show herself as your mistress, to compromise herself, to take every gift you offer her,--perhaps this very day, you will believe that I am capable of inducing her to throw open the pass of the Great Saint Bernard. And it is a hard job, I can tell you; it will take as much pulling to get your artillery through as it took the first Consul to get over the Alps."

"But vy?"

"Her heart is full of love, old shaver, rasibus, as you say who know Latin," replied Asie. "She thinks herself the Queen of Sheba, because she has washed herself in sacrifices made for her lover--an idea that that sort of woman gets into her head! Well, well, old fellow, we must be just.--It is fine! That baggage would die of grief at being your mistress--I really should not wonder. But what I trust to, and I tell you to give you courage, is that there is good in the girl at bottom."

"You hafe a genius for corruption," said the Baron, who had listened to Asie in admiring silence, "just as I hafe de knack of de banking."

"Then it is settled, my pigeon?" said Asie.

"Done for fifty tousant franc insteat of ein hundert tousant!--An' I shall give you fife hundert tousant de day after my triumph."

"Very good, I will set to work," said Asie. "And you may come, monsieur," she added respectfully. "You will find madame as soft already as a cat's back, and perhaps inclined to make herself pleasant."

"Go, go, my goot voman," said the banker, rubbing his hands.

And after seeing the horrible mulatto out of the house,