The Lies That Confine by John Reeves (ebook e reader .txt) π
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- Author: John Reeves
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boyfriends around but, that wasn't the case at all. She wasn't the most attractive girl in the world, still I'd have thought someone would see her loving nature. I wanted to take them to get a bit to eat but, my pockets were empty. I hadn't shaved and could see why she might be afraid of me. I could make up all the excuses in the world about my appearance but the truth was she didn't remember me anymore. I picked her up in my arms giving her a big hug anyway. I could tell all the one sided affection was from me. When I sat her back down she never even looked up at me.
"Daddy has really missed you so much."
She began to warm up to me as the visit moved to the local park. She wondered what her mom and dad looked like when she saw the other children with parents. I found her to be quite intelligent to be five years old. Her voice was so clear and easy to understand. I had known all along I was missing out on something incredible but, she was even more amazing than I ever imagined. As I watched her play on the monkey bars I discussed my future plans with my cousin. I explained that I was going to California to start a new life, then I'd send for them to come join me. When I said those words I had no idea what might happen. I did know my intentions were there, but the dangers looming in front of me were clearly unknown.
The FBI had tracked me to Lubbock and, had seen me at the park. Why they didn't take me right there, I will never know. I'm certainly glad they didn't because it would have taken place in front of my daughter. I had forty eight dollars, so I went to the bus station to buy a ticket out of town. Before I could have reacted to the first agent I saw, there were fifteen more I didn't see. There would be no California just a 10X10 cell block. I knew what this meant in terms of seeing my baby girl again. More than anything I realized I was going back to prison for two murders I had nothing to do with. I also realized there was no chance to prove I didn't commit those crimes. Without a confession of murder I'd never be eligible for parole.
"I told you to get your education and, not to run around with those hoodlums."
Sometimes late at night I can hear my father's voice inside my head reminding me what kind of failure I turned out to be. I don't guess I really disagree with it, but god knows I tried. These days on the block I'm not a risk to escape, the time I have done inside here, has taken the young man and turned him into a broken down inmate who has a story to tell. My daughter graduated high school and, starts at the University of Mississippi in the fall. Sometimes I wonder if she remembers me on that day in the park, I ask myself sometimes will she ever come to see me. Like the night we had one last pizza she never remembered, I feel she doesn't remember me at all.
"God...I never turn to you when things are going good, so I'm reluctant to ask anything of you now. My life was taken away, but I guess you know that. I believe I'm worthy of walking with you through the gates of Heaven. I have been around criminals my whole life, never once though, have I deviated from the religious standards set for me as a child. I just want you to watch after Cassie, because she is an angel. Amen." Imprint
"Daddy has really missed you so much."
She began to warm up to me as the visit moved to the local park. She wondered what her mom and dad looked like when she saw the other children with parents. I found her to be quite intelligent to be five years old. Her voice was so clear and easy to understand. I had known all along I was missing out on something incredible but, she was even more amazing than I ever imagined. As I watched her play on the monkey bars I discussed my future plans with my cousin. I explained that I was going to California to start a new life, then I'd send for them to come join me. When I said those words I had no idea what might happen. I did know my intentions were there, but the dangers looming in front of me were clearly unknown.
The FBI had tracked me to Lubbock and, had seen me at the park. Why they didn't take me right there, I will never know. I'm certainly glad they didn't because it would have taken place in front of my daughter. I had forty eight dollars, so I went to the bus station to buy a ticket out of town. Before I could have reacted to the first agent I saw, there were fifteen more I didn't see. There would be no California just a 10X10 cell block. I knew what this meant in terms of seeing my baby girl again. More than anything I realized I was going back to prison for two murders I had nothing to do with. I also realized there was no chance to prove I didn't commit those crimes. Without a confession of murder I'd never be eligible for parole.
"I told you to get your education and, not to run around with those hoodlums."
Sometimes late at night I can hear my father's voice inside my head reminding me what kind of failure I turned out to be. I don't guess I really disagree with it, but god knows I tried. These days on the block I'm not a risk to escape, the time I have done inside here, has taken the young man and turned him into a broken down inmate who has a story to tell. My daughter graduated high school and, starts at the University of Mississippi in the fall. Sometimes I wonder if she remembers me on that day in the park, I ask myself sometimes will she ever come to see me. Like the night we had one last pizza she never remembered, I feel she doesn't remember me at all.
"God...I never turn to you when things are going good, so I'm reluctant to ask anything of you now. My life was taken away, but I guess you know that. I believe I'm worthy of walking with you through the gates of Heaven. I have been around criminals my whole life, never once though, have I deviated from the religious standards set for me as a child. I just want you to watch after Cassie, because she is an angel. Amen." Imprint
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Publication Date: 03-27-2010
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Dedication:
This book is dedicated to the Milling family.
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