The Adventures of Roderick Random by T. Smollett (most read books of all time txt) 📕

to the great cabin: and with this command I instantly complied, sweetening myself with rosewater from the medicine chest. When I entered the room, I was ordered to stand by the door, until Captain Whiffle had reconnoitered me at a distance with a spy-glass. He, having consulted one sense in this manner, bade me advance gradually, that his nose might have intelligence before it could be much offended: I therefore approached with great caution and success, and he was pleased to say, “Ay, this creature is tolerable.” I found him lolling on his couch with a languishing air, his head supported by his valet-de-chambre, who from time to time applied a smelling-bottle to his nose. “Vergette,” said he in a squeaking tone, “dost think this wretch (meaning me) will do me no injury? May I venture to submit my arm to him?” “Pon my word,” replied the valet, “I do tink dat dere be great occasion for your honour losing a small quantite of blodt; and the young man ave quelque chose of de bonne mine.” “Well, then,” said his master, “I think I must venture.” Then, addressing himself to me, “Hast thou ever blooded anybody but brutes? But I need not ask thee, for thou wilt tell me a most d—able lie,” “Brutes, sir!” answered I, pulling down his glove, in order to feel his pulse, “I never meddle with brutes.” “What the devil art thou about?” cried he, “dost thou intend to twist off my hand? Gad’s curse! my arm is benumbed up to the very shoulder! Heaven have mercy upon me! must I perish under the hands of savages? What an unfortunate dog was I to come on board without my own surgeon, Mr. Simper.” I craved pardon for having handled him so roughly, and, with the utmost care, and tenderness, tied up his arm with a fillet of silk. While I was feeling for the vein, he desired to know how much blood I intended to take from him, and, when I answered, “not above twelve ounces,” started up with a look full of horror, and bade me be gone, swearing I had a design upon his life. Vergette appeased him with difficulty, and, opening a bureau, took out a pair of scales, in one of which was placed a small cup; and putting them into my hand, told me, the captain never lost above an ounce and three drams at one time.

While I prepared for this important evacuation, there came into the cabin a young man gaily dressed, of a very delicate complexion with a kind of languid smile on his face: which seemed to have been rendered habitual by a long course of affectation. The captain no sooner perceived him, than, rising hastily, he flew into his arms, crying, “O, my dear Simper, I am excessively disordered! I have been betrayed, frighted, murdered, by the negligence of my servants, who suffered a beast, a mule, a bear, to surprise me, and stink me into convulsions with the fumes of tobacco.” Simper, who by this time, I found, was obliged to act for the clearness of his complexion, assumed an air of softness and sympathy, and lamented with many tender expressions of sorrow, the sad accident that had thrown him into that condition; then, feeling his patient’s pulse on the outside of his glove, gave it as his opinion, that his disorder was entirely nervous, and that some drops of tincture of castor, and liquid laudanum, would be of more service to him than bleeding, by bridling the inordinate sallies of his spirits, and composing the fermentation of his bile. I was therefore sent to prepare this prescription, which was administered in a glass of sack posset, after the captain had been put to bed, and orders sent to the officers on the quarter-deck, to let nobody walk on that side under which he lay.

While the captain enjoyed his repose the doctor watched over him, and indeed became so necessary, that a cabin was made for him contiguous to the state room where Whiffle slept, that he might be at hand in case of accidents in the night. Next day, our commander being happily recovered, gave orders that none of the lieutenants should appear upon deck without a wig, sword, and ruffles; nor any midshipman, or other petty officer, be seen with a check shirt or dirty linen. He also prohibited any person whatever, except Simper and his own servants, from coming into the great cabin without first sending in to obtain leave. These singular regulations did not prepossess the ship’s company in his favour: but, on the contrary, gave scandal an opportunity to be very busy with his character, and accuse him of maintaining a correspondence with his surgeon not fit to be named.

In a few weeks, our ship being under sailing orders, I was in hope of revisiting my native country, in a very short time, when the admiral’s surgeon came on board, and, sending for Morgan and me to the quarter-deck, gave us to understand there was a great scarcity of surgeons in the West Indies; that he was commanded to detain one mate out of every great ship that was bound for England; and desired us to agree between ourselves, before the next day at that hour, which of us should stay behind. We were thunderstruck at this proposal, and stared at one another some time without speaking; at length the Welshman broke silence, and offered to remain in the West Indies, provided the admiral would give him a surgeon’s warrant immediately; but he was told there was no want of chief surgeons, and that he must be contented with the station of mate, till he should be further provided for in due course. Whereupon Morgan flatly refused to quit the ship for which the commissioners of the navy had appointed him; and the other told him as plainly, that if we could not determine the affair by ourselves before to-morrow morning, he must cast lots, and abide by his chance.

When I recalled to my remembrance the miseries I had undergone in England, where I had not one friend to promote my interest, or favour my advancement in the navy, and the same time reflected on the present dearth of surgeons in the West Indies, and the unhealthiness of the climate, which every day almost reduced the number, I could not help thinking my success would be much more certain and expeditious by my staying where I was, than by returning to Europe. I therefore resolved to comply with a good grace, and next day, when we were ordered to throw dice, told Morgan he needed not trouble himself, for I would voluntarily submit to the admiral’s pleasure. This frank declaration was commended by the gentleman, who assured me, it should not fare the worse with me for my resignation. Indeed he was as good as his word, and that very afternoon procured a warrant, appointing me surgeon’s mate of the Lizard sloop-of-war, which put me on a footing with every first mate in the service.

My ticket being made out, I put my chest and bedding on board a canoe that lay alongside, and, having shook hands with my trusty friend the sergeant, and honest Jack Rattlin, who was bound for Greenwich Hospital, I took my leave of Morgan with many tears, after we had exchanged our sleeve buttons as remembrances of each other. Having presented my new warrant to the captain of the Lizard, I inquired for the doctor, whom I no sooner saw than I recollected him to be one of those young fellows with whom I had been committed to the round-house, during our frolic with Jackson, as I have related before. He received me with a good deal of courtesy, and, when I put him in mind of our former acquaintance, expressed great joy at seeing me again, and recommended me to an exceeding good mess, composed of the gunner and master’s mate. As there was not one sick person in the ship, I got leave to go ashore next day with the gunner, who recommended me to a Jew, that bought my ticket at the rate of forty per cent discount; and, having furnished myself with the necessaries I wanted, returned on board in the evening, and, to my surprise, found my old antagonist Crampley walking upon deck. Though I did not fear his enmity, I was shocked at his appearance, and communicated my sentiments on that subject to Mr. Tomlins the surgeon, who told me that Crampley, by dint of some friends about the admiral, had procured a commission, constituting him lieutenant on board the Lizard; and advised me, now he was my superior officer, to behave with some respect towards him, or else he would find a thousand opportunities of using me ill. This advice was a bitter potion to me, whom pride and resentment had rendered utterly incapable of the least submission to, or even of a reconciliation with, the wretch who had, on many occasions, treated me so inhumanly: however, I resolved to have as little connection as possible with him, and to ingratiate myself as much as I could with the rest of the officers, whose friendship might be a bulwark to defend me from the attempts of his malice.

In less than a week we sailed on a cruise, and having weathered the east end of the island, had the good fortune to take a Spanish barcolongo, with her prize, which was an English ship bound for Bristol, that sailed from Jamaica a fortnight before, without convoy. All the prisoners who were well, we put onshore on the north side of the island; the prizes were manned with Englishmen, and the command of the barcolongo given to my friend the master’s mate, with orders to carry them into Port Morant, and there to remain until the Lizard’s cruise should be ended, at which time she would touch at the same place in her way to Port Royal. With him I was sent to attend the wounded Spaniards as well as Englishmen, who amounted to sixteen, and to take care of them on shore in a house that was to be hired as an hospital. This destination gave me a great deal of pleasure, as I should, for some time, be freed from the arrogance of Crampley, whose inveteracy against me had already broken out on two or three occasions since he was become a lieutenant. My messmate, who very much resembled my uncle, both in figure and disposition, treated me on board of the prize with the utmost civility and confidence: and, among other favours, made me a present of a silver-hilted hanger, and a pair of pistols mounted with the same metal, which fell to his share in plundering the enemy. We arrived safely at Morant, and, going on shore, pitched upon an empty storehouse; which we hired for the reception of the wounded, who were brought to it next day, with beds and other necessaries; and four of the ship’s company appointed to attend them and obey me.