Charlotte's Inheritance by Mary Elizabeth Braddon (a court of thorns and roses ebook free .TXT) π
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newspaper as Valentine came into the room, and saluted the visitor with a friendly nod.
"Glad to see you, Hawkehurst," he said. "_Semper fidelis_, and that kind of thing; the very model of devoted lovers. Why, man alive, how glum you look!"
"I think I have reason to look glum," answered Valentine, gravely; "I have seen Charlotte."
"Yes? And don't you find her improving?--gradually, of course. That constitutional languor is not shaken off in a hurry. But surely you think her improving--brightening--"
"Brightening with the light that never shone on earth or sea. God help me! I--I--am the merest child, the veriest coward, the--" He made a great effort, and stifled the sob that had well-nigh broken his voice. "Mr. Sheldon," he continued quietly, "I believe your stepdaughter is dying."
"Dying! Good heavens!--my dear Hawkehurst, this alarm is most--most premature. There is no cause for fear--at present, no cause--I give you my word as a medical man."
"No cause for alarm at present? That means my darling will not be taken from me to-night, or to-morrow. I shall have a few days breathing-time. Yes, I understand. The doom is upon us. I saw the shadow of death upon her face to-day."
"My dear Hawkehurst--"
"My dear Sheldon, for pity's sake don't treat me as if I were a woman or a child. Let me know my fate. If--if--this, the worst, most bitter of all calamities God's hand--raised against me in punishment of past sins, sinned lightly and recklessly, in the days when my heart had no stake in the game of destiny--can inflict upon me; if this deadly sorrow is bearing down upon me, let me meet it like a man. Let me die with my eyes uncovered. O, my dearest, my fondest, redeeming angel of my ill-spent life! have you been only a supernal visitant, after all, shining on me for a little while, to depart when your mission of redemption is accomplished?"
"Powers above!" thought Mr. Sheldon, "what nonsense these sentimental magazine-writers can talk!"
He was in nowise melted by the lover's anguish, though it was very real. Such a grief as this was outside the circle in which his thoughts revolved. This display of grief was unpleasant to him. It grated painfully upon his nerves, as some of poor Tom Halliday's little speeches had done of old, when the honest-hearted Yorkshireman lay on his deathbed; and the young man's presence and the young man's anxiety were alike inconvenient.
"Tell me the truth, Mr. Sheldon," Valentine said presently, with suppressed intensity. "Is there any hope for my darling, any hope?"
Mr. Sheldon considered for some moments before he replied to this question. He pursed-up his lips and bent his brows with the same air of business-like deliberation that he might have assumed while weighing the relative merits of the first and second debenture bonds of some doubtful railway company.
"You ask me a trying question, Hawkehurst," he said at last. "If you ask me plainly whether I like the turn which Charlotte's illness has taken within the last few weeks, I must tell you frankly, I do not. There is a persistent want of tone--a visible decay of vital power--which, I must confess, has caused me some uneasiness. You see, the fact is, there is a radical weakness of constitution--as Miss Paget, a very sensible girl and acute observer--herself has remarked, indeed a hereditary weakness; and against this medicine is sometimes unavailing. You need apprehend no neglect on my part, Hawkehurst; all that can possibly be done is being done. Dr. Doddleson's instructions are carefully obeyed, and--"
"Is this Dr. Doddleson competent to grapple with the case?" asked Valentine; "I never heard of him as a great man."
"That fact proves how little you know of the medical profession."
"I know nothing of it; I have had no need for doctors in my life. And you think this Dr. Doddleson really clever?"
"His position is a sufficient answer to that question."
"Will you let me telegraph for him--this afternoon--immediately?"
"You cannot telegraph from this place."
"No, but from St. Leonards I can. Do you think I am afraid of a five-mile walk?"
"But why send for Dr. Doddleson? The treatment he prescribed is the treatment we are now following to the letter. To summon him down here would be the merest folly. Our poor Charlotte's illness is, so far, free from all alarming symptoms."
"You do not see the change in her that I can see," cried Valentine piteously. "For mercy's sake, Mr. Sheldon, let me have my way in this. I cannot stand by and see my dear one fading and do nothing--nothing to save her. Let me send for this man. Let me see him myself, and hear what he says. You can have no objection to his coming, since he is the man you have chosen for Charlotte's adviser? It can only be a question of expense. Let this particular visit be my affair."
"I can afford to pay for my stepdaughter's medical attendance without any help from your purse, Mr. Hawkehurst," said the stockbroker with offended pride. "There is one element in the case which you appear to ignore."
"What is that?"
"The alarm which this summoning of a doctor from London must cause in Charlotte's mind."
"It need cause no alarm. She can be told that Dr. Doddleson has come to this part of the world for a Sunday's change of air. The visit can appear to be made _en passant._ It will be easy to arrange that with the doctor before he sees her."
"As you please, Mr. Hawkehurst," the stockbroker replied coldly. "I consider such a visit to the last degree unnecessary; but if Dr. Doddleson's coming can give you any satisfaction, by all means let him come. The expense involved in summoning him is of the smallest consideration to me. My position with regard to my wife's daughter is one of extreme responsibility, and I am ready to perform all the obligations of that position."
"You are very good: your conduct in relation to Charlotte and myself has been beyond all praise. It is quite possible that I am over-anxious; but there was a look in that dear face--no--I cannot forget that look; it struck terror to my heart. I will go at once to St. Leonards. I can tell Charlotte that I am obliged to telegraph to the printer about my copy. You will not object to that white lie?"
"Not at all. I think it essential that Charlotte should not be alarmed. You had better stop to dine; there will be time for the telegram after dinner."
"I will not risk that," answered Valentine. "I cannot eat or drink till I have done something to lessen this wretched anxiety."
He went back to the room where Charlotte was sitting by the open window, through which there came the murmur of waves, the humming of drowsy bees, the singing of birds, all the happy voices of happy nature in a harmonious chorus.
"O God, wilt thou take her away from such a beautiful world," he asked, "and change all the glory of earth to darkness and desolation for me?"
His heart rebelled against the idea of her death. To save her, to win her back to himself from the jaws of death, he was ready to promise anything, to do anything.
"All my days will I give to Thy service, if Thou wilt spare her to me," in his heart he said to his God. "If Thou dost not, I will be an infidel and a pagan--the vilest and most audacious of sinners. Better to serve Lucifer than the God who could so afflict me."
And this is where the semi-enlightened Christian betrays the weakness of his faith. While the sun shines, and the sweet gospel story reads to him like some tender Arcadian idyl, all love and promise, he is firm in his allegiance; but when the dark hour comes, he turns his face to the wall, with anger and disappointment in his heart, and will have no further commune with the God who has chastised him. His faith is the faith of the grateful leper, who, being healed, was eager to return and bless his divine benefactor. It is not the faith of Abraham or of Job, of Paul or of Stephen.
Valentine told his story about the printers and the copy for the _Cheapside_ magazine, about which there had arisen some absurd mistake, only to be set right by a telegram.
It was not a very clear account; but Charlotte did not perceive the vagueness of the story; she thought only of the one fact, that Valentine must leave her for some hours.
"The evening will seem so long without you," she said. "That is the worst part of my illness; the time is so long--so weary. Diana is the dearest and kindest of friends. She is always trying to amuse me, and reads to me for hours, though I know she must often be tired of reading aloud so long. But even the books I was once so fond of do not amuse me. The words seem to float indistinctly in my brain, and all sorts of strange images mix themselves up with the images of the people in the book. Di has been reading "The Bride of Lammermoor" all this morning; but the pain and weariness I feel seemed to be entangled with Lucy and Edgar somehow, and the dear book gave me no pleasure."
"My darling, you--you are too weak to listen to Diana's reading. It is very kind of her to try to amuse you; but--but it would be better for you to rest altogether. Any kind of mental exertion may help to retard your recovery."
He had placed himself behind her chair, and was bending over the pillows to speak to her. Just now he felt himself unequal to the command of his countenance. He bent his head until his lips touched the soft brown hair, and kissed those loose soft tresses passionately. The thought occurred to him that a day might come when he should again kiss that soft brown hair, with a deeper passion, with a sharper pain, and when Charlotte would not know of his kisses, or pity his pain.
"O Valentine!" cried Charlotte, "you are crying; I can see your face in the glass."
He had forgotten the glass; the little rococo mirror, with an eagle hovering over the top of the frame, which hung above the old-fashioned chiffonier.
"I am not so very ill, dear; I am not indeed," the girl continued, turning in her chair with an effort, and clasping her lover's hands; "you must not distress yourself like this, Valentine--dear Valentine! I shall be better by-and-by. I cannot think that I shall be taken from you."
He had broken down altogether by this time. He buried his face in the pillows, and contrived to stifle the sobs that would come; and then, after a sharp struggle, he lifted his face, and bent over the chair once more to kiss the invalid's pale upturned forehead.
"My dear one, you shall not, if love can guard and keep you. No, dear, I _cannot_ believe that God will take you from me. Heaven may be your fittest habitation; but such sweet spirits as yours are sorely needed upon earth. I will be brave, dearest one; brave and hopeful in the mercy of Heaven. And now I must go and telegraph to my tiresome printer. _Au revoir_!"
He hurried away from the farmhouse, and started at a rattling pace along the pleasant road, with green waving corn on his left, and broad
"Glad to see you, Hawkehurst," he said. "_Semper fidelis_, and that kind of thing; the very model of devoted lovers. Why, man alive, how glum you look!"
"I think I have reason to look glum," answered Valentine, gravely; "I have seen Charlotte."
"Yes? And don't you find her improving?--gradually, of course. That constitutional languor is not shaken off in a hurry. But surely you think her improving--brightening--"
"Brightening with the light that never shone on earth or sea. God help me! I--I--am the merest child, the veriest coward, the--" He made a great effort, and stifled the sob that had well-nigh broken his voice. "Mr. Sheldon," he continued quietly, "I believe your stepdaughter is dying."
"Dying! Good heavens!--my dear Hawkehurst, this alarm is most--most premature. There is no cause for fear--at present, no cause--I give you my word as a medical man."
"No cause for alarm at present? That means my darling will not be taken from me to-night, or to-morrow. I shall have a few days breathing-time. Yes, I understand. The doom is upon us. I saw the shadow of death upon her face to-day."
"My dear Hawkehurst--"
"My dear Sheldon, for pity's sake don't treat me as if I were a woman or a child. Let me know my fate. If--if--this, the worst, most bitter of all calamities God's hand--raised against me in punishment of past sins, sinned lightly and recklessly, in the days when my heart had no stake in the game of destiny--can inflict upon me; if this deadly sorrow is bearing down upon me, let me meet it like a man. Let me die with my eyes uncovered. O, my dearest, my fondest, redeeming angel of my ill-spent life! have you been only a supernal visitant, after all, shining on me for a little while, to depart when your mission of redemption is accomplished?"
"Powers above!" thought Mr. Sheldon, "what nonsense these sentimental magazine-writers can talk!"
He was in nowise melted by the lover's anguish, though it was very real. Such a grief as this was outside the circle in which his thoughts revolved. This display of grief was unpleasant to him. It grated painfully upon his nerves, as some of poor Tom Halliday's little speeches had done of old, when the honest-hearted Yorkshireman lay on his deathbed; and the young man's presence and the young man's anxiety were alike inconvenient.
"Tell me the truth, Mr. Sheldon," Valentine said presently, with suppressed intensity. "Is there any hope for my darling, any hope?"
Mr. Sheldon considered for some moments before he replied to this question. He pursed-up his lips and bent his brows with the same air of business-like deliberation that he might have assumed while weighing the relative merits of the first and second debenture bonds of some doubtful railway company.
"You ask me a trying question, Hawkehurst," he said at last. "If you ask me plainly whether I like the turn which Charlotte's illness has taken within the last few weeks, I must tell you frankly, I do not. There is a persistent want of tone--a visible decay of vital power--which, I must confess, has caused me some uneasiness. You see, the fact is, there is a radical weakness of constitution--as Miss Paget, a very sensible girl and acute observer--herself has remarked, indeed a hereditary weakness; and against this medicine is sometimes unavailing. You need apprehend no neglect on my part, Hawkehurst; all that can possibly be done is being done. Dr. Doddleson's instructions are carefully obeyed, and--"
"Is this Dr. Doddleson competent to grapple with the case?" asked Valentine; "I never heard of him as a great man."
"That fact proves how little you know of the medical profession."
"I know nothing of it; I have had no need for doctors in my life. And you think this Dr. Doddleson really clever?"
"His position is a sufficient answer to that question."
"Will you let me telegraph for him--this afternoon--immediately?"
"You cannot telegraph from this place."
"No, but from St. Leonards I can. Do you think I am afraid of a five-mile walk?"
"But why send for Dr. Doddleson? The treatment he prescribed is the treatment we are now following to the letter. To summon him down here would be the merest folly. Our poor Charlotte's illness is, so far, free from all alarming symptoms."
"You do not see the change in her that I can see," cried Valentine piteously. "For mercy's sake, Mr. Sheldon, let me have my way in this. I cannot stand by and see my dear one fading and do nothing--nothing to save her. Let me send for this man. Let me see him myself, and hear what he says. You can have no objection to his coming, since he is the man you have chosen for Charlotte's adviser? It can only be a question of expense. Let this particular visit be my affair."
"I can afford to pay for my stepdaughter's medical attendance without any help from your purse, Mr. Hawkehurst," said the stockbroker with offended pride. "There is one element in the case which you appear to ignore."
"What is that?"
"The alarm which this summoning of a doctor from London must cause in Charlotte's mind."
"It need cause no alarm. She can be told that Dr. Doddleson has come to this part of the world for a Sunday's change of air. The visit can appear to be made _en passant._ It will be easy to arrange that with the doctor before he sees her."
"As you please, Mr. Hawkehurst," the stockbroker replied coldly. "I consider such a visit to the last degree unnecessary; but if Dr. Doddleson's coming can give you any satisfaction, by all means let him come. The expense involved in summoning him is of the smallest consideration to me. My position with regard to my wife's daughter is one of extreme responsibility, and I am ready to perform all the obligations of that position."
"You are very good: your conduct in relation to Charlotte and myself has been beyond all praise. It is quite possible that I am over-anxious; but there was a look in that dear face--no--I cannot forget that look; it struck terror to my heart. I will go at once to St. Leonards. I can tell Charlotte that I am obliged to telegraph to the printer about my copy. You will not object to that white lie?"
"Not at all. I think it essential that Charlotte should not be alarmed. You had better stop to dine; there will be time for the telegram after dinner."
"I will not risk that," answered Valentine. "I cannot eat or drink till I have done something to lessen this wretched anxiety."
He went back to the room where Charlotte was sitting by the open window, through which there came the murmur of waves, the humming of drowsy bees, the singing of birds, all the happy voices of happy nature in a harmonious chorus.
"O God, wilt thou take her away from such a beautiful world," he asked, "and change all the glory of earth to darkness and desolation for me?"
His heart rebelled against the idea of her death. To save her, to win her back to himself from the jaws of death, he was ready to promise anything, to do anything.
"All my days will I give to Thy service, if Thou wilt spare her to me," in his heart he said to his God. "If Thou dost not, I will be an infidel and a pagan--the vilest and most audacious of sinners. Better to serve Lucifer than the God who could so afflict me."
And this is where the semi-enlightened Christian betrays the weakness of his faith. While the sun shines, and the sweet gospel story reads to him like some tender Arcadian idyl, all love and promise, he is firm in his allegiance; but when the dark hour comes, he turns his face to the wall, with anger and disappointment in his heart, and will have no further commune with the God who has chastised him. His faith is the faith of the grateful leper, who, being healed, was eager to return and bless his divine benefactor. It is not the faith of Abraham or of Job, of Paul or of Stephen.
Valentine told his story about the printers and the copy for the _Cheapside_ magazine, about which there had arisen some absurd mistake, only to be set right by a telegram.
It was not a very clear account; but Charlotte did not perceive the vagueness of the story; she thought only of the one fact, that Valentine must leave her for some hours.
"The evening will seem so long without you," she said. "That is the worst part of my illness; the time is so long--so weary. Diana is the dearest and kindest of friends. She is always trying to amuse me, and reads to me for hours, though I know she must often be tired of reading aloud so long. But even the books I was once so fond of do not amuse me. The words seem to float indistinctly in my brain, and all sorts of strange images mix themselves up with the images of the people in the book. Di has been reading "The Bride of Lammermoor" all this morning; but the pain and weariness I feel seemed to be entangled with Lucy and Edgar somehow, and the dear book gave me no pleasure."
"My darling, you--you are too weak to listen to Diana's reading. It is very kind of her to try to amuse you; but--but it would be better for you to rest altogether. Any kind of mental exertion may help to retard your recovery."
He had placed himself behind her chair, and was bending over the pillows to speak to her. Just now he felt himself unequal to the command of his countenance. He bent his head until his lips touched the soft brown hair, and kissed those loose soft tresses passionately. The thought occurred to him that a day might come when he should again kiss that soft brown hair, with a deeper passion, with a sharper pain, and when Charlotte would not know of his kisses, or pity his pain.
"O Valentine!" cried Charlotte, "you are crying; I can see your face in the glass."
He had forgotten the glass; the little rococo mirror, with an eagle hovering over the top of the frame, which hung above the old-fashioned chiffonier.
"I am not so very ill, dear; I am not indeed," the girl continued, turning in her chair with an effort, and clasping her lover's hands; "you must not distress yourself like this, Valentine--dear Valentine! I shall be better by-and-by. I cannot think that I shall be taken from you."
He had broken down altogether by this time. He buried his face in the pillows, and contrived to stifle the sobs that would come; and then, after a sharp struggle, he lifted his face, and bent over the chair once more to kiss the invalid's pale upturned forehead.
"My dear one, you shall not, if love can guard and keep you. No, dear, I _cannot_ believe that God will take you from me. Heaven may be your fittest habitation; but such sweet spirits as yours are sorely needed upon earth. I will be brave, dearest one; brave and hopeful in the mercy of Heaven. And now I must go and telegraph to my tiresome printer. _Au revoir_!"
He hurried away from the farmhouse, and started at a rattling pace along the pleasant road, with green waving corn on his left, and broad
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