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- Author: Cory Doctorow
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The generator’s dead, he thought. And she’s all rusted through. And still the washing machine moved. He heard the gush of water filling her, a wet and muddy sound.
“What did you do?” he asked. He climbed slowly to his feet, facing away from his mother, not wanting to see her terrible bucking as she wobbled on her broken foot.
“Nothing,” Mimi said. “I just looked inside and it started up.”
He stared at his mother, enraptured, mesmerized. Mimi stole alongside of him and he noticed that she’d taken off her jacket and the sweatshirt, splaying out her wings around her.
Her hand found his and squeezed. The machine rocked. His mother rocked and gurgled and rushed, and then she found some local point of stability and settled into a soft rocking rhythm.
The rush of water echoed off the cave walls, a white-noise shushing that sounded like skis cutting through powder. It was a beautiful sound, one that transported him to a million mornings spent waiting for the boys’ laundry to finish and be hung on the line.
All gone.
He jerked his head up so fast that something in his neck cracked, needling pain up into his temples and forehead. He looked at Mimi, but she gave no sign of having heard the voice, the words, All gone.
All gone.
Mimi looked at him and cocked her head. “What?” she said.
He touched her lips with a finger, forgetting to be mindful of the swelling there, and she flinched away. There was a rustle of wings and clothing.
My sons, all my sons, gone.
The voice emerged from that white-noise roar of water humming and sloshing back and forth in her basket. Mimi squeezed his hand so hard he felt the bones grate.
“Mom?” he said softly, his voice cracking. He took half a step toward the washer.
So tired. I’m worn out. I’ve been worn out.
He touched the enamel on the lid of the washer, and felt the vibrations through his fingertips. “I can—I can take you home,” he said. “I’ll take care of you, in the city.”
Too late.
There was a snapping sound and then a front corner of the machine settled heavily. One rusted out foot, broken clean off, rolled across the cave floor.
The water sounds stilled.
Mimi breathed some words, something like Oh my God, but maybe in another language, or maybe he’d just forgotten his own tongue.
“I need to go,” he said.
They stayed in a different motel on their way home from the mountain, and Mimi tried to cuddle him as he lay in the bed, but her wings got in the way, and he edged over to his side until he was almost falling off before she took the hint and curled up on her side. He lay still until he heard her snore softly, then rose and went and sat on the toilet, head in his hands, staring at the moldy grout on the tiled floor in the white light, trying not to think of the bones, the hank of brittle red hair, tied tightly in a shopping bag in the trunk of the rental car.
Sunrise found him pacing the bathroom, waiting for Mimi to stir, and when she padded in and sat on the toilet, she wouldn’t meet his eye. He found himself thinking of her standing in the tub, rolled towel between her teeth, as Krishna approached her wings with his knife, and he went back into the room to dress.
“We going to eat breakfast?” she asked in the smallest voice.
He said nothing, couldn’t will himself to talk.
“There’s still food in the car,” she said after some silence had slipped by. “We can eat that.”
And without any more words, they climbed into the car and he put the pedal down, all the way to Toronto, stopping only once for gas and cigarettes after he smoked all the ones left in her pack.
When they cleared the city limits and drove under the viaduct at Danforth Avenue, getting into the proper downtown, he eased off the Parkway and into the city traffic, taking the main roads with their high buildings and stoplights and people, people, people.
“We’re going home?” she said. The last thing she’d said was, “Are you hungry?” fourteen hours before and he’d only shook his head.
“Yes,” he said.
“Oh,” she said.
Was Krishna home? She was rooting in her purse now, and he knew that she was looking for her knife.
“You staying with me?” he said.
“Can I?” she said. They were at a red light, so he looked into her eyes. They were shiny and empty as marbles.
“Yes,” he said. “Of course. And I will have a word with Krishna.”
She looked out the window. “I expect he’ll want to have a word with you, too.”
Link rang his doorbell one morning while he was hunched over his computer, thinking about the story he was going to write. When he’d moved into the house, he’d felt the shape of that story. All the while that he’d sanded and screwed in bookcases, it had floated just below the surface, its silhouette discernible through the ripples.
But when Adam left Mimi watching television and sat at his desk in the evening with the humming, unscuffed, and gleaming laptop before him, fingers poised over the keys, nothing came. He tapped out an opening sentence,
I suspect that my father is dead
and deleted it. Then undid the delete.
He called up The Inventory and stroked the spacebar with his thumb, paging through screensful of pictures and keywords and pricetags and scanned-in receipts. He flipped back to the story and deleted his sentence.
My dead brother had been hiding out on the synagogue’s roof for God knows how long.
The last thing he wanted was to write an autobiography. He wanted to write a story about the real world, about the real people who inhabited it. He hit the delete key.
The video-store girl never got bored behind her counter, because she could always while away the hours looking up the rental histories of the popular girls who’d shunned her in high school.
That’s when Link rang his doorbell and he startled guiltily and quit the text editor, saving the opening sentence. Which had a lot of promise, he thought.
“Link!” he said. “Come in!”
The kid had put on ten or fifteen pounds since they’d first met, and no longer made Alan want to shout, Someone administer a sandwich stat! Most of it was muscle from hard riding as a bike messenger, a gig that Link had kept up right through the cold winter, dressing up like a gore-tex Martian in tights and ski goggles and a fleece that showed hints of purple beneath its skin of crusted road salt and pollution.
Andrew had noticed the girls in the Market and at Kurt’s shop noticing Link, whose spring wardrobe showed off all that new muscle to new effect, and gathered from the various hurt looks and sulks from the various girls that Link was getting more ass than a toilet-seat.
Her brother spent the winter turning into the kind of stud that she’d figured out how to avoid before she finished high school, and it pained her to see the hordes of dumb-bunnies making goo-goo eyes at him.
That would be a good second sentence for his story.
“You okay, Abby?” Link said, looking concerned. Albert realized that he’d been on another planet for a moment there.
“Sorry, just fell down a rabbit hole,” he said, flapping his arms comically. “I was writing “—felt good to say that—"and I’m in a bit of a, how you say, creative fog.”
Link took a step back. “I don’t want to disturb you,” he said.
But for all that, she still approved his outfits before he left the house, refusing to let him succumb to the ephemeral awful trendiness of mesh-back caps and too-tight boy-scout jamboree shirts. Instead, she put him into slightly fitted cotton shirts that emphasized his long lean belly and his broad shoulders.
“Don’t sweat it. I could use a break. Come in and have a drink or something.” He checked the yellowing face of the tick-tock clock he kept on the mantelpiece and saw that it was just past noon. “Past lunchtime, that means that it’s okay to crack a beer. You want a beer?”
And for all that, her brother still managed to come home looking like some kind of frat-rat pussy-hound, the kind of boy she’d always hoped he wouldn’t be.
“Beer would be great,” Link said. He stepped into the cool of the living room and blinked as his eyes adjusted. “This really is a hell of a place,” he said, looking around at the glass cases, the teetering stacks of books that Andrew had pulled down and not reshelved, making ziggurats of them instead next to all the chairs.
“What can I do for you?” Adam said, handing him a glass of Upper Canada Lager with a little wedge of lime. He’d bought a few cases of beer that week and had been going through them steadily in the living room, paging through the most favored of his books, trying to find something, though he wasn’t sure what.
Link sipped. “Summer’s here,” he said.
“Yeah,” Alan said.
“Well, the thing is, summer. I’m going to be working longer hours and, you know, evenings. Well. I mean. I’m 19 years old, Andy.”
Alan raised an eyebrow and sat back in his chair. “What’s the message you’re trying to convey to me, Link?”
“I’m not going to be going around your friend’s shop anymore. I really had fun doing it all year, but I want to try something different with my spare time this summer, you understand?”
“Sure,” Alan said. He’d had kids quit on him before. That’s what kids did. Attention spans.
“Right. And, well, you know: I never really understood what we were doing… ”
“Which part?”
“The WiFi stuff—”
“Well, you see—”
“Stop, okay? I’ve heard you explain it ten times now and I still don’t get it. Maybe after a semester or two of electrical engineering it’ll make more sense.”
“Okay,” Adam said, smiling broadly to show no hard feelings. “Hey,” he said, carefully. “If you didn’t understand what we were doing, then why did you do it?”
Link cocked his head, as if examining him for traces of sarcasm, then looked away. “I don’t know. It was exciting, even if I didn’t quite get it. Everyone else seemed to get it, sort of, and it was fun to work alongside of them, and sometimes the money was okay.”
Which is why she decided to—
Damn, what did she decide to do? That was shaping up to be a really good opener.
Which is why she wasn’t surprised when he didn’t come home for three nights in a row.
Aha.
“No hard feelings, Link,” Adam said. “I’m really grateful for the help you gave us and I hope you’ll think about helping again in the fall… ”
But on the fourth night, she got worried, and she started calling his friends. They were all poor students, so none of them had land-line numbers you could look up in the phone book, but that was okay, since they all had accounts with the video store where she worked, with their deadbeat pre-paid mobile numbers listed.
“Yeah, that sounds great, you know, September, it gets dark early. Just got word that I got into Ryerson for the fall, so I’ll be taking engineering classes. Maybe I can help out that way?”
“Perfect,” Alan said. Link took a step backward, drained his beer, held out the glass.
“Well, thanks,” Link said, and turned. Alan reached past him and opened the door. There were a couple of girls there, little suburban girls of the type that you could find by the hatful in the Market on Saturday mornings, shopping for crazy clothes at the vintage shops. They looked 14, but might have been as old as 16 or 17 and just heartbreakingly naive. Link looked over his shoulder and had the decency to look slightly embarrassed as they smiled at him.
“Okay, thanks, then,” he said, and one of the girls looked past him to get a glimpse inside the house. Andy instinctively stepped
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