Home as Found by James Fenimore Cooper (diy ebook reader txt) 📕

are difficulties in running highways and streets through homesteads

and dwellings; and that even a rail-road, or a canal, is obliged to

make a curve to avoid a church-yard or a tomb-stone?"

"I confess to the sin, sir."

"Our friend Mr. Bragg," put in John Effingham, "considers life as all

_means_ and no _end_."

"An end cannot be got at without the means, Mr. John Effingham, as I

trust you will, yourself, admit. I am for the end of the road, at

least, and must say that I rejoice in being a native of a country in

which as few impediments as possible exist to onward impulses. The

man who should resist an improvement, in our part of the country, on

account of his forefathers, would fare badly among his contemporaries."

"Will you permit me to ask, Mr. Bragg, if you feel no local

attachments yourself," enquired the baronet, throwing as much

delicacy into the tones of his voice, as a question that he felt

ought to be an insult to a man's heart, would allow--"if one tree is

not more pleasant than another; the house you were born in more

beautiful than a house into which you never entered; or the altar at

which you have long worshipped, more sacred than another at which you

never knelt?"

"Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than to answer the questions

of gentlemen that travel through our country," returned Aristabulus,

"for I think, in making nations acquainted with each other, we

encourage trade and render business more secure. To reply to your

inquiry, a human being is not a cat, to love a locality rather than

its own interests. I have found some trees much pleasanter than

others, and the pleasantest tree I can remember was one of my own,

out of which the sawyers made a thousand feet of clear stuff, to say

nothing of middlings. The house I was born in was pulled down,

shortly after my birth, as indeed has been its successor, so I can

tell you nothing on that head; and as for altars, there are none in

my persuasion."

"The church of Mr. Bragg has stripped itself as naked as he would

strip every thing else, if he could," said John Effingham. "I much

question if he ever knelt even; much less before an altar."

"We are of the standing order, certainly," returned Aristabulus,

glancing towards the ladies to discover how they took his wit, "and

Mr. John Effingham is as near right as a man need be, in a matter of

faith. In the way of houses, Mr. Effingham, I believe it is the

general opinion you might have done better with your own, than to

have repaired it. Had the materials been disposed of, they would have

sold well, and by running a street through the property, a pretty sum

might have been realized."

"In which case I should have been without a home, Mr. Bragg."

"It would have been no great matter to get another on cheaper land.

The old residence would have made a good factory, or an inn."

"Sir, I _am_ a cat, and like the places I have long frequented."

Aristabulus, though not easily daunted, was awed by Mr. Effingham's

manner, and Eve saw that her father's fine face had flushed. This

interruption, therefore, suddenly changed the discourse, which has

been recreated at some length, as likely to give the reader a better

insight into a character that will fill some space in our narrative,

than a more laboured description.

"I trust your owners, Captain Truck," said John Effingham, by way of

turning the conversation into another channel, "are fully satisfied

with the manner in which you saved their property from the hands of

the Arabs?"

"Men, when money is concerned, are more disposed to remember how it

was lost than how it was recovered, religion and trade being the two

poles, on such a point," returned the old seaman, with a serious

face. "On the whole, my dear sir, I have reason to be satisfied,

however; and so long as you, my passengers and my friends, are not

inclined to blame me, I shall feel as if I had done at least a part

of my duty."

Eve rose from table, went to a side-board and returned, when she

gracefully placed before the master of the Montauk a rich and

beautifully chased punch-bowl, in silver. Almost at the same moment,

Pierre offered a salver that contained a capital watch, a pair of

small silver tongs to hold a coal, and a deck trumpet, in solid

silver.

"These are so many faint testimonials of our feelings," said

Eve--"and you will do us the favour to retain them, as evidences of

the esteem created by skill, kindness, and courage."

"My dear young lady!" cried the old tar, touched to the soul by the

feeling with which Eve acquitted herself of this little duty, "my

dear young lady--well, God bless you--God bless you all--you too, Mr.

John Effingham, for that matter--and Sir George--that I should ever

have taken that runaway for a gentleman and a baronet--though I

suppose there are some silly baronets, as well as silly lords--retain

them?"--glancing furiously at Mr. Aristabulus Bragg, "may the Lord

forget me, in the heaviest hurricane, if I ever forget whence these

things came, and why they were given."

Here the worthy captain was obliged to swallow some wine, by way of

relieving his emotions, and Aristabulus, profiting by the

opportunity, coolly took the bowl, which, to use a word of his own,

he _hefted_ in his hand, with a view to form some tolerably accurate

notion of its intrinsic value. Captain Truck's eye caught the action,

and he reclaimed his property quite as unceremoniously as it had been

taken away, nothing but the presence of the ladies preventing an

outbreaking that would have amounted to a declaration of war.

"With your permission, sir," said the captain, drily, after he had

recovered the bowl, not only without the other's consent, but, in

some degree, against his will; "this bowl is as precious in my eyes

as if it were made of my father's bones."

"You may indeed think so," returned the land-agent, "for its cost

could not be less than a hundred dollars."

"Cost, sir!--But, my dear young lady, let us talk of the real value.

For what part of these things am I indebted to you?"

"The bowl is my offering," Eve answered, smilingly, though a tear

glistened in her eye, as she witnessed the strong unsophisticated

feeling of the old tar. "I thought it might serve sometimes to bring

me to your recollection, when it was well filled in honour of

'sweethearts and wives.'"

"It shall--it shall, by the Lord; and Mr. Saunders needs look to it,

if he do not keep this work as bright as a cruising frigate's bottom.

To whom do I owe the coal-tongs?"

"Those are from Mr. John Effingham, who insists that he will come

nearer to your heart than any of us, though the gift be of so little

cost."

"He does not know me, my dear young lady--nobody ever got as near my

heart as you; no, not even my own dear pious old mother. But I thank

Mr. John Effingham from my inmost spirit, and shall seldom smoke

without thinking of him. The watch I know is Mr. Effingham's, and I

ascribe the trumpet to Sir George."

The bows of the several gentlemen assured the captain he was right,

and he shook each of them cordially by the hand, protesting, in the

fulness of his heart, that nothing would give him greater pleasure

than to be able to go through the same perilous scenes as those from

which they had so lately escaped, in their good company again.

While this was going on, Aristabulus, notwithstanding the rebuke he

had received, contrived to get each article, in succession, into his

hands, and by dint of poising it on a finger, or by examining it, to

form some approximative notion of its inherent value. The watch he

actually opened, taking as good a survey of its works as the

circumstances of the case would very well allow.

"I respect these things, sir, more than you respect your father's

grave," said Captain Truck sternly, as he rescued the last article

from what he thought the impious grasp of Aristabulus again, "and cat

or no cat, they sink or swim with me for the remainder of the cruise.

If there is any virtue in a will, which I am sorry to say I hear

there is not any longer, they shall share my last bed with me, be it

ashore or be it afloat. My dear young lady, fancy all the rest, but

depend on it, punch will be sweeter than ever taken from this bowl,

and 'sweethearts and wives' will never be so honoured again."

"We are going to a ball this evening, at the house of one with whom I

am sufficiently intimate to take the liberty of introducing a

stranger, and I wish, gentlemen," said Mr. Effingham, bowing to

Aristabulus and the captain, by way of changing the conversation,

"you would do me the favour to be of our party."

Mr. Bragg acquiesced very cheerfully, and quite as a matter of

course; while Captain Truck, after protesting his unfitness for such

scenes, was finally prevailed on by John Effingham, to comply with

the request also. The ladies remained at table but a few minutes

longer, when they retired, Mr. Effingham having dropped into the old

custom of sitting at the bottle, until summoned to the drawing-room,

a usage that continues to exist in America, for a reason no better

than the fact that it continues to exist in England;--it being almost

certain that it will cease in New-York, the season after it is known

to have ceased in London.

As Captain Truck asked permission to initiate the new coal-tongs by

lighting a cigar, Sir George Templemore contrived to ask Pierre, in

an aside, if the ladies would allow him to join them. The desired

consent having been obtained, the baronet quietly stole from table,

and was soon beyond the odours of the dining-room.

"You miss the censer and the frankincense," said Eve, laughing, as

Sir George entered the drawing-room; "but you will remember we have

no church establishment, and dare not take such liberties with the

ceremonials of the altar."

"That is a short-lived custom with us, I fancy, though far from an

unpleasant one. But you do me injustice in supposing I am merely

running away from the fumes of the dinner."

"No, no; we understand perfectly well that you have something to do

with the fumes of flattery, and we will at once fancy all has been

said that the occasion requires. Is not our honest old captain a

jewel in his way?"

"Upon my word, since you allow me to speak of your father's guests, I

do not think it possible to have brought together two men who are so

completely the opposites of each other, as Captain Truck and this Mr

Aristabulus Bragg. The latter is quite the most extraordinary person

in his way, it was ever my good fortune to meet with."

"You call him a _person_, while Pierre calls him a _personnage;_ I

fancy he considers it very much as a matter of accident, whether he

is to pass his days in the one character or in the other. Cousin Jack

assures me, that, while this man accepts almost any duty that he

chooses to assign him, he would not deem it at all a violation of the

_convenances_ to aim at the throne in the White House."

"Certainly with no hopes of ever attaining it!"

"One cannot answer for that. The man must undergo many essential

changes, and much radical improvement, before such a climax to his

fortunes can ever occur; but the instant you do away with the claims

of hereditary power, the door is opened to a new chapter of

accidents. Alexander of Russia styled himself _un heureux accident_;

and should it ever be our fortune to receive Mr. Bragg as President,

we shall only have to term