Rujub, the Juggler by G. A. Henty (novels to read in english .txt) 📕

“Yes, I know I did; but it was hard to tell me it was as contemptible to despise a man for a physical weakness he could not help, as to despise one for being born humpbacked or a cripple, when you know that my brother was so.”

“I wanted you to feel that your conduct had been contemptible, Isobel, and I put it in the way that was most likely to come home to you. I have been disappointed in you. I thought you were more sensible than the run of young women, and I found out that you were not. I thought you had some confidence in my judgment, but it turned out that you had not. If Bathurst had been killed when he was standing up, a target for the Sepoys, I should have held you morally responsible for his death.”

“You would have shared the responsibility, anyhow, Doctor, for it was you who repeated my words to him.”

“We will not go over that ground again,” said the Doctor quietly. “I gave you my reasons for doing so, and those reasons are to my mind convincing. Now I will tell you how this constitutional nervousness on his part arose. He told me the story; but as at that time there had been no occasion for him to show whether he was brave or otherwise, I considered my lips sealed. Now that his weakness has been exhibited, I consider myself more than justified in explaining its origin.”

And he then repeated the story Bathurst had told him.

“You see,” he said, when he had finished, “it is a constitutional matter beyond his control; it is a sort of antipathy. I have known a case of a woman courageous in all other respects, who, at the sight of even a dead cockroach, would faint away. I have seen one of the most gallant officers of my acquaintance turn pale at the sight of a spider. Certainly no one would think of calling either one or the other coward; and assuredly such a name should not be applied to a man who would face a tiger armed only with a whip in defense of a native woman, because his nerves go all to pieces at the sound of firearms.”

“If you had told me all this before I should never have spoken as I did,” Isobel pleaded.

“I did not go into the full details, but I told you that he was not responsible for his want of firmness under fire, and that I knew him in other respects to be a brave man,” the Doctor said uncompromisingly. “Since then you have by your manner driven him away from you. You have flirted—well, you may not call it flirting,” he broke off in answer to a gesture of denial, “but it was the same thing—with a man who is undoubtedly a gallant soldier—a very paladin, if you like—but who, in spite of his handsome face and pleasant manner, is no more to be compared with Bathurst in point of moral qualities or mental ability than light to dark, and this after I had like an old fool gone out of my way to warn you. You have disappointed me altogether, Isobel Hannay.”

Isobel stood motionless before him, with downcast eyes.

“Well, there, my dear,” the Doctor went on hurriedly, as he saw a tear glisten in her eyelashes; “don't let us say anything more about it. In the first place, it is no affair of mine; and in the second place, your point of view was that most women would take at a time like this; only, you know, I expected you would not have done just as other women would. We cannot afford to quarrel now, for there is no doubt that, although we may put a good face on the matter, our position is one of grave peril, and it is of no use troubling over trifles. Now run away, and get a few hours' sleep if you can. You will want all your strength before we are through with this business.”

While the Doctor had been talking to Isobel, the men had gathered below in a sort of informal council, the subject being Bathurst's conduct on the roof.

“I would not have believed it if I had not seen it,” Captain Rintoul said. “The man was absolutely helpless with fright; I never saw such an exhibition; and then his fainting afterwards and having to be carried away was disgusting; in fact, it is worse than that.”

There was a general murmur of assent.

“It is disgraceful,” one of the civilians said; “I am ashamed that the man should belong to our service; the idea of a fellow being helpless by fright when there are women and children to be defended—it is downright revolting.”

“Well, he did go and stick himself up in front,” Wilson said; “you should remember that. He may have been in a blue funk, I don't say he wasn't; still, you know, he didn't go away and try to hide himself, but he stuck himself up in front for them to fire at. I think we ought to take that into consideration.”

“Dr. Wade says Bathurst put himself there to try and accustom himself to fire,” Captain Forster said. “Mind, I don't pretend to like the man. We were at school together, and he was a coward then and a sneak, but for all that one should look at it fairly. The Doctor asserts that Bathurst is morally brave, but that somehow or other his nerves are too much for him. I don't pretend to understand it myself, but there is no doubt about the Doctor's pluck, and I don't think he would stand up for Bathurst as he does unless he really thought he was not altogether accountable for showing the white feather. I think, too, from what he let drop, that the Major is to some extent of the same opinion. What do you think, Doolan?”

“I like Bathurst,” Captain Doolan said; “I have always thought him a first rate fellow; but one can't stick up, you know, for a fellow who can't behave as a gentleman ought to, especially when there are women and children in danger.”

“It. is quite impossible that we should associate with him,” Captain Rintoul said. “I don't propose that we should tell him what we think of him, but I think we ought to leave him severely alone.”

“I should say that he ought to be sent to Coventry,” Richards said.

“I should not put it in that way,” Mr. Hunter said gravely. “I have always esteemed Bathurst. I look upon it as a terribly sad case; but I agree with Captain Rintoul that, in the position in which we are now placed, a man who proves himself to be a coward must be made to feel that he stands apart from us. I should not call it sending him to Coventry, or anything of that sort, but I do think that we should express by our manner that we don't wish to have any communication with him.”

There was a general expression of assent to this opinion, Wilson alone protesting against it.

“You can do as you like,” he said; “but certainly I shall speak to Bathurst, and I am sure the Doctor and Major Hannay will do so. I don't want to stand up for a coward, but I believe what the Doctor says. I have seen a good deal of Bathurst, and I like him; besides, haven't you heard the story the Doctor has been telling about his attacking a tiger with a whip to save a native woman? I don't care what anyone says, a fellow who