Mail Order Bride: Westward Winds by - (book club books TXT) 📕

Seth watched Dean walk back and forth across the main barn floor. His brother was highly agitated and seemed to be growing more so with every passing minute.

“Dean,” Seth said softly.

“What?”

“You wanna talk about it?” Seth asked.

Dean let out a sarcastic laugh. “Talk? Why does everyone have to talk about everything? I thought we did talk about it. I thought everything was fine. Then, all of a sudden, it’s not again. I have no clue what’s going on. All I know is that I keep sleeping in the barn because I can’t sleep in our bed because I can’t sleep while she’s so close and mad at me or I’m mad at her.” His groan of frustration was loud in the barn.

Seth watched a couple of the horses’ ears flick back and forth at the sudden sound.

“Dean, quit scaring the horses and just tell me exactly what’s goin’ on,” Seth said and leaned against a wall.

Looking at Seth, Dean said, “She’s still wound up about those letters. Can you believe that? I thought it was done and over.”

Seth frowned. “What made you think that?”

“Because we made up,” Dean said.

“So you talked about it?”

“Sort of.”

Seth asked, “What does that mean?”

Dean resumed his pace and said, “We, you know. Made up in bed.”

Seth sputtered with laughter, which drew an annoyed look from his brother.

“I’m sorry, Dean, but it always cracks me up that you’re so shy about this subject,” Seth said. He cleared his throat and forced himself to be serious. “Okay, so you thought because you, ‘made up in bed’, as you put it, that it meant that the argument was over?”

“Yeah. I thought she forgave me and I forgave her,” Dean said as he came to stop in front of Seth.

Seth let out a sigh. “Dean, sit down here and listen to me,” he said as he indicated a couple of hay bales.

Once they were seated, Seth said, “Dean, I want you to think about something, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Are you really over bein’ mad that Tessa didn’t tell her family about gettin’ married?” Seth asked. “Think about it carefully.”

Dean didn’t want to think about it. Like with everything else, Dean just wanted to forget it and go on. “What good does it do to keep going over it? I’d like to just move on from it.”

“That’s not what I asked you, Dean. This is why she’s still mad. You don’t want to talk about stuff. I’m not sayin’ that I’m the chattiest guy, but I’m not afraid to face what I’m feeling,” Seth said. “You are. When Ma and Pa passed away, you wouldn’t talk about it. I’ve yet to really hear you talk about it and you don’t talk about them very much at all. It was the same way with Sarah and the baby. When you keep buryin’ stuff, it’s got a way to come back on you later, Dean.”

Dean wanted to hit something. “You wanna talk about Ma and Pa? Okay, let’s do that. I was here with Marcus when both of them died. I had to arrange the funerals and take care of Marcus while you were on drives. I had a wife and we had Sadie at the time. The ranch wasn’t gonna run itself, Seth. I didn’t have time to sit around wallowing in grief. There was work that needed done so that I could keep us fed and everything else.

“Again, when I lost Sarah and the baby, I was alone. You know that if Lydia and Charlie hadn’t been here to keep me sane, I might have…. You know what I’m saying. I had another funeral to arrange and I had to watch them put my wife and child in the ground. I had two little kids to comfort and take care of, Seth. I lost the woman I loved and I had to face the fact that she was never coming back! And the ranch. It’s always here, always needs attention, and I don’t have the luxury of constantly whining about crap that I can’t change. So you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t talk about things like that because the fact is that I can’t handle it!”

Seth had never seen Dean so worked up before. “I’ve always felt guilty that I wasn’t here, Dean, but I was tryin’ to keep our business going, too. It was just in a different way. Pa couldn’t do the drives anymore, so it was up to me. I’m sorry, Dean.”

Dean nodded. “And now, I’ve got this woman who I love who is mad at me and she wants to talk. Sarah never had to talk all the time.”

“Tessa isn’t Sarah, Dean. There’s partly where you’re making a mistake. She’s her own woman and has different ideas about things. You’re expecting her to act a certain way because that’s what you were used to with Sarah. I loved Sarah. You know that. But she was very sweet natured and didn’t rock the boat. Tessa’s not like that. She speaks her mind and she’s not a pushover,” Seth said.

Dean half-smiled. “Yeah, she sure does. I think it’s one of the things I love most about her. She’s not boring, that’s for sure. Okay. You asked me if I was really over her not tellin’ her folks about me.” He blew out a breath as he looked at it honestly. “No. I’m not.”

“Then why say you are?” Seth said.

Quietly, Dean said, “Because it’s easier than dealing with it.”

“Exactly. Tessa’s not going to let you get away with that, Dean. She needs and deserves more than sex from you. Sex is not gonna fix what’s wrong. You gotta dig deep here and face the real issues or you’re gonna lose her,” Seth said. “Don’t let that happen, Dean.”