Zodiac's toy by John Jones (read 50 shades of grey .TXT) 📕

take it out'.

Chimp banged on Lee's flat with his foot. Lee angrily opened the door.

"Who the f..? Chimp...you've been in my fucking safe".

"No. You went in your safe and gave me money for the water for the party". Chimp walked past him and into the living room where he put the water down by the hi-fi.

"Party. Why would I do that? Let you muppets have a party in here. Why not in Shane or Ray's?"

"Because you've got the hi-fi. The tunes". Chimp walked back out. Lee just put his hand to his head, confused.

Ray, Shane and Chimp all came back up with packs of water and put them by the hi-fi. After another trip, Chimp procured a knife from the kitchen and set about taking off the plastic wrapping. When he did he just threw it to the side.

Lee just looked at him and shook his head and said:

"Right, well while you lot are having a shit party, I'm gonna count my money again". He walked into the bedroom.

Chimp was effectively surrounded by water bottles. He threw the last of the wrapping to the side and stood up.

"Ray, go and get Gary and Blotto, I can't wait, I want the party right now". Ray slowly but surely made his way out of the flat and along to Gary's.

Shane sat on the sofa. Lee brought out his money and placed it all on the table. He sat down and started counting.

Blotto, Gary and Ray came in.

"Here we are," said Chimp, “it's party-time". He turned and switched on the hi-fi, fiddling with the tuner until he found classical music.

"What the fuck is this?" said Gary, hands on hips.

"A shit party," said Lee, not looking up from the money.

"Ah," said Chimp, "Pachelbel's Canon". He highered the volume and turned and picked up a bottle in each hand.

"I'm the water-bearer," he said, and threw a bottle to everyone. Gary caught his and put it on Lee's table, then turned and walked out. Ray sat next to Shane and Blotto just stood close to the table.

"Ah, feel the music," said Chimp, swaying to the composition. He then began drinking, and downed a whole bottle in one. When he finished he threw the bottle aside and opened another, and drank that one as well. He threw that bottle aside, then opened another, and drank, and drank, and drank...

All the while Ray, Shane, Blotto and Lee just watched as he opened another bottle and drank.

The effects of hyponatremia gradually took over. The water entered his bloodstream and he collapsed to his knees, pressure building in his skull as his brain swelled. His eyes red and bulging, but still he drank. Everybody pointed and laughed as he downed more.

Everybody except Ray.

"Look at him," said Lee, smiling.

"He drinks like a fish," said Shane, opening his bottle. Blotto and Lee howled with laughter and opened up their bottles. Ray just frowned at them, then looked back at Chimp who continued to drink even though water and vomit clogged his throat as the pressure on his skull mounted.

"Someone should do someth..." Ray said, knowing he would get nowhere with his friends. He stood up and approached Chimp, looking back at the others as if they would come to their senses, but they were convulsing with laughter and trying to drink at the same time, pointing at Chimp.

"Fellas, I think we..." but the cerebral edema in Chimp's brain was too much, and he couldn't breathe, vomit and water spilling over his lip, down his chest and spattering the floor. Ray looked at him, and Chimp gave him full eye-contact. He grinned, winked, then collapsed forward, dead.

The laughter and music continued as if nothing had happened.

"Did you see him collapse?" said Blotto.

"He nearly burst," said Lee.

"Fellas!" Ray shouted, and they all stopped. Including the music. The hi-fi switched itself off.

"What is going on in here?" said Gary, entering the living room. Shane, Blotto and Lee just stared at Chimp. There was no more laughter, and they put down their bottles and all stood up, looking at each other for answers.

"What the fuck?" Lee muttered as he looked at the body.

"Really lads, for fuck's sake,” said Gary, “I know Chimp was a tool, but what happened?"

"He drank himself to death," said Blotto.

"He what?"

"He just kept drinking and drinking water, and we just let him". Gary simply looked at Blotto as though he was waiting for a real explanation, but none came. He looked down at the body, then at the others.

"Well this is all on you fuckwits. So get rid of the body. I don't want no pigs coming round here. I've got gear and Nugget’s got his guns, so no police, understand? You should do. Blotto, you've got rid of bodies before. Do it again. No leads back here okay". He looked at Chimp again and shrugged in exasperation, then walked out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 31

 

Ray had to leave. He needed to get out into the fresh air, and walked around the town, trying to clear his head. He intended to end up at Caroline's, maybe for one or two nights. If she moaned then he would put his foot down. I'm staying and that's it.

If he had any money he would have perhaps ended up in a pub, but he didn't, and couldn't even afford one pint. His bank card was back at the flat and he had no intention of going to get it.

 

For around an hour he wandered aimlessly, thinking of poor Chimp. That was some serious water addiction he had.

Perhaps if the police did come knocking, he thought, that might not be so bad. It'll probably get rid of Gary and Nugget.

Maybe Lee. Yet, Gary portrayed himself as a legitimate businessman, and would probably wrap the police around his little finger.

He found himself in an area he did not recognise. A place where there were more fields and woods. A pathway cut between two empty fields and ended up winding beneath trees. There was nobody around, and after sauntering for around a mile, one side of the path sloped down into a stagnant pond a little bigger than the size of the car-park outside his high-rise. There were clusters of flies amongst the reeds and water boatmen skimming along the surface. Bushes and trees bordered most of it.

He stood for a while near the edge, on a patch of grass that wasn't too muddy, staring into the depths of the dark brown water.

Poor old Chimp, he thought. He wasn't that bad really, but deep down somewhere in his mind, he was glad to get the flat to himself again.

Something stirred where he was looking, something emerging from the depths but not the surface. It looked like it could be the body of a snake, or an eel, the circumference of an average size tree. A large tail-fin appeared, and it headed to the middle of the pond, disappearing from his view. Towards the back of the water, there were ripples, and very slowly, a head emerged.

A goat's head.

It stopped at the neck and stared at him around thirty metres away.

That's a goat, he thought. A goat in the water. I didn't know they could swim. He looked at it for a while and it looked at him, then gradually it came forwards towards the centre of the pond where he could make it out more clearly. The fur was dark brown, its horns curved back. The animal did not look in trouble, in fact looked quite serene, content out there in the water. It stopped in the centre, then around three metres away from it, like a whale out in the sea the tail-fin emerged from the water and crashed back down, the head sunk with it.

Ray waited for a while to see if it emerged again. The ripples died away and the surface became calm.

After five minutes nothing came out. He turned and continued along his path. I'm not going in to try and save a goat, he thought, if it's in trouble. Can they hold their breath that long? They must be able to swim.

It must have come from a nearby farm to enjoy a swim in the pond. Probably something it's done plenty of times before, and I don't know what kind of fish that was, but it was pretty big. A fisherman would be down here in a flash trying to catch it, he thought, if they knew.

Soon his thoughts returned to Chimp, and to Blotto, and the police. He emerged from the path and found himself on a narrow lane. He wasn't completely lost and guessed that if he walked to the left there would be a place he recognised.

He was right, but took another half hour to walk to the house.

 

He felt he was imposing but didn't care. Wayne agreed to him staying the night, even though Ray knew he didn't want to, and Caroline pussyfooted around but eventually agreed to let him stay, though Ray insisted that he could anyway, and Caroline knew it.

They were all sat out the back at the gazebo. Ray with a weak tea and Wayne with lemon flavoured water. He felt he couldn't keep what happened to himself and had to unload it.

"That's a serious water addiction," said Wayne. Ray neglected to mention that the body would be dumped, instead told him Chimp's family would deal with it. There was silence for a few moments, Ray almost feeling lighter for having got it off his chest, then said to Wayne:

"You'll probably know. Can goats swim?" Wayne just stared at him for a few seconds, as if he thought it was a trick question.

"It's just that I was walking through some woods earlier, and there was one in a pond. Seemed quite happy". Wayne thought about it for a few moments, but Caroline answered.

"I think they can," Wayne nodded.

"Yes, I'm sure they can too," he said.

"Then it went underwater and I waited for what must have been about five minutes. It never came up. Can they hold their breath for ages?" he asked as if they both knew exactly.

"Have you found me a photographer yet?" Caroline asked, knowing full well what the answer was.

 

It was a cold, crisp morning, and even though Caroline and Wayne were still in bed, he made a hearty breakfast from their food and left before they got up. He kind of felt he was getting under their feet, losing his already paltry grip on the house which was being wrested away by Wayne.

He made his way gradually back to the flat, and a schoolgirl being led by her mother to a nearby school pointed and shouted at Ray.

"That man's a Pisces," she said, her mother frowning at her. Ray just looked across and carried on home.

Nope, I don't believe, Ray thought, convincing himself.

He ended up in Lee's flat, on the sofa with Shane, Lee in the armchair. Chimp's body was gone, as was the empty bottles. Blotto had driven him over fifty miles away to put in a river.

They were all smoking, Lee and Shane cannabis, and not saying much, smoke curling into the already stale air.

"So we shouldn't get the police round here?" asked Shane.

"We might," said Lee, "can't rule it out, but Blotto dumped the body in the river at night. It'll float for miles probably, and it's bloated with water anyway so it'll just look like he fell in and drowned or a suicide. Shouldn't get linked back to us or anything". There was silence for a while longer.

"Question for both of you," said Ray, "can goats swim?" Lee and Shane just looked at him.

"No," said Lee, "I don't think so. Can't say I've ever seen one".

"Nor me," said Shane.

"I saw one yesterday in a pond in the woods,"

"Really," said Shane, pulling on his joint. "You wouldn't think they would be able to would you?"

They heard a car pull up outside, doors slamming, voices, footsteps. It was Gary, Blotto and Nugget. Shane heard his flat door being opened and closed.

"I suppose I'd