Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife by Marietta Holley (ereader with dictionary .TXT) 📕

“Samantha! stop the ship! wait for me! I am comin’!”

Could it be? Yes it wuz my own beloved pardner, madly racin’ down the wharf, swingin’ his familiar old carpet satchel in his hand, also huggin’ in his arms a big bundle done up in newspaper, which busted as he reached the water’s edge, dribblin’ out neckties, bandanna handkerchiefs, suspenders, cookies, and the dressin’ gown with tossels.

He scrambled after ’em as well as he could in his fearful hurry, and his arms bein’ full, he threw the dressin’ gown round his shoulders and madly raced over the gang plank, still emitting that agonizing cry: “Samantha, wait for me! stop the ship!” which he kep’ up after I had advanced onward and he held both my hands in hisen.

Oh, the bliss of that moment! No angel hand, no reporter even for the New York papers could exaggerate the blessedness of that time, much as they knew about exaggeration. Tears of pure joy ran down both our faces, and all the sorrows of the past seperation seemed to dissolve in a golden mist that settled down on everything round us and before us. The land looked good, the water looked good, the sky showered down joy as well as sunshine; we wuz together once more. We had no need of speech to voice our joy; but anon Josiah did say in tremblin’ axents as he pressed both my hands warmly in hisen: “Samantha, I’ve come!” And I, too, sez in a voice tremblin’ with emotion:

“Dear Josiah, I see you have.” And then I sez tenderly as I helped him off with the dressin’ gown: “I thought you said you couldn’t leave the farm, Josiah.”

“Well, I wuz leavin’ it; I wuz dyin’; I thought I might as well leave it one way as t’other. I couldn’t live without you, and finally I ketched up what clothes I could in my hurry and sot out, thinkin’ mebby I could ketch you in Chicago. You see I have got my dressin’ gown and plenty of neckties.”

“Well,” sez I in my boundless joy and content, “there are things more necessary on a long sea voyage than neckties, but I’ve got some socks most knit, and I can buy some underclothes, and we will git along first rate.” “Yes, Arvilly said so.” Sez he, “Arvilly told me you’d manage.”

“Arvilly?” sez I, in surprised axents.

“Yes, Arvilly concluded to come too. She said that if you hadn’t started so quick she should have come with you. But when she found out I was comin’ she jest set right off 79 with me. She’s brung along that book she’s agent for, ‘The Twin Crimes of America: Intemperance and Greed.’ She thinks she can most pay her way sellin’ it. She jest stopped on the wharf to try to sell a copy to a minister. But here she is.” And, sure enough, she that wuz Arvilly Lanfear advanced, puttin’ some money in her pocket, she had sold her book. Well, I wuz surprised, but glad, for I pitied Arvilly dretfully for what she had went through, and liked her. Two passengers had gin up goin’ at the last minute or they couldn’t have got tickets.

I advanced towards her and sez: “Arvilly Lanfear! or she that wuz, is it you?”

“Yes, I’ve come, and if ever a human creeter come through sufferin’ I have. Why, I’ve been agent for ‘The Wild Deeds of Men’ for years and years, but I never knew anything about ’em till I come on this tower. I thought that I should never git that man here alive. He has wep’ and wailed the hull durin’ time for fear we shouldn’t ketch you.”

“Oh, no, Arvilly!” sez the joyous-lookin’ Josiah.

“I can prove it!” sez she, catchin’ out his red and yeller bandanna handkerchief from his hat, where he always carries it: “Look at that, wet as sop!” sez she, as she held it up. It wuz proof, Josiah said no more.

“I knew we should ketch you, for I knew you would stop on the way. I thought I would meet you at the deepo to surprise you. But I had to bank my house; I wuzn’t goin’ to leave it to no underlin’ and have my stuff freeze. But when I hern that Josiah wuz comin’ I jest dropped my spade––I had jest got done––ketched up my book and threw my things into my grip, my trunk wuz all packed, and here I am, safe and sound, though the cars broke down once and we wuz belated. We have just traipsed along a day or two behind you all the way from Chicago, I not knowin’ whether I could keep him alive or not.”

Sez I fondly, “What devoted love!”

“What a natural fool!” sez Arvilly. “Did it make it any better for him to cry and take on? That day we broke down and had to stop at a tarven I wuz jest mad enough, and writ myself another chapter on ‘The Wild Deeds of Men,’ and am in hopes that the publisher will print it. It will help the book enormously I know. How you’ve stood it with that man all these years, I don’t see; rampin’ round, tearin’ and groanin’ and actin’. He didn’t act no more like a perfessor than––than Captain Kidd would if he had been travelin’ with a neighborin’ female, pursuin’ his wife, and that female doin’ the best she could for him. I kep’ tellin’ him that he would overtake you, but I might as well have talked to the wind––a equinoctial gale,” sez she. Josiah wuz so happy her words slipped offen him without his sensin’ ’em and I wuz too happy to dispute or lay anything up, when she went on and sez:

“I spoze that folks thought from our jawin’ so much that we wuz man and wife; and he a yellin’ out acrost the sleeper and kinder cryin’, and I a hollerin’ back to him to ’shet up and go to sleep!’ It is the last time I will ever try to carry a man to his wife; but I spozed when I started with him, he bein’ a perfessor, he would act different!”

“Well,” sez I, in a kind of a soothin’ tone, “I’m real glad you’ve come, Arvilly; it will make the ship seem more like Jonesville, and I know what you have went through.”

“Well,” sez she, “no other livin’ woman duz unless it is you.” She kep’ on thinkin’ of Josiah, but I waved off that idee; I meant her tribulations in the army. And I sez, “You may as well spend your money travelin’ as in any other way.”

“Yes, I love to travel when I can travel with human creeters, and I might as well spend my money for myself as to leave it for my cousins to fight over, and I can pay my way mostly sellin’ my book; and I’ve left my stuff so it won’t spile.”

“Where is Waitstill Webb?” sez I.

“Oh, Waitstill has gone back to be a nurse––she’s gone to the Philippines.”

Sez I gladly, “Then we shall see her, Arvilly.”

“Yes,” sez she, “and that wuz one reason that I wanted to go, though she’s acted like a fool, startin’ off agin to help the govermunt. I’ve done my last work for it, and I told her so; I sez, if see the govermunt sinkin’ in a mud hole I wouldn’t lift a finger to help it out. I always wanted to see China and Japan, but never spozed I should.”

“It is a strange Providence, indeed, Arvilly, that has started us both from Jonesville to China. But,” sez I, “let me make you acquainted with the rest of our party,” and I introduced ’em. Josiah wuz embracin’ Tommy and bein’ embraced, and he had seen ’em all but Robert Strong.