Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife by Marietta Holley (ereader with dictionary .TXT) 📕

“‘The island valley of Avileon

 Where falls not rain nor hail nor any snow.’”

“Where it seems always afternoon.”

“I d’no,” sez Josiah, “as I ever hearn of such a land. I never wuz any hand to lay abed all the forenoon.”

“But, Josiah, there is sunthin’ so dreamy and soothin’, so restful in the soft slumbrous atmosphere, it seems as if one could jest lay down in that hammock, look off onto the 111 entrancin’ beauty around, breathin’ the soft balmy air, and jest lay there forever.”

“I guess,” sez he, “that the dinner bell would be apt to roust you out the second or third day.”

But Miss Meechim jined us at jest this minute, and she sez to me, “I feel just as you do, I feel as though I would fain dwell here forever.”

And Josiah sez: “I believe it would be a good thing for you, Miss Meechim, to stay here right along; you could probable do considerable good here preachin’ to the natives aginst marriage, they’re pretty apt to marry too much if they’re let alone, and you might curb ’em in some.” (Josiah can’t bear Miss Meechim, her idees on matrimony are repugnant to him.) But she didn’t argy with him. She sez: “Robert is planning a trip to the Pali, and wants to know if you won’t join us.”

And Josiah says, “Who is Pali?”

And she sez, “It is the precipice five hundred feet high, where King Kamehameha drove off his enemies.”

Well, we wuz agreeable and jined the party. Robert had got a wagonette and he and Dorothy, Miss Meechim and Arvilly and Josiah and I jest filled the seats, Tommy sot in Josiah’s lap or between us.

It is quite a long ride to the Pali, but we didn’ realize it, because the scenery all along is so lovely and so novel. That view from the top I hain’t a-goin’ to try to describe, nor I sha’n’t let Josiah try; I don’t like to have that man flat out in his undertakin’s. Good land! do you want us to tell how many sands there wuz on the flashing white beach that stretched out milds and milds? And we might as well as to describe that enchantin’ panorama and take up all the different threads of glory that lay before us and embroider ’em on language. No, you must see ’em for yourself, and then you hain’t goin’ to describe ’em. I d’no but Carabi could. I hearn Tommy talkin’ and “wonnerin’” to him as he stood awestruck beside me, but no mortal can.

Well, I thought I must not slight the volcano Kilauea, which means the House of Everlasting Fire. And how that volcano and everything in Hawaii reminded me of the queen who once rained here––and the interview I once had with her. We happened to be visitors to the same summer resort. You know she lives in Washington, D. C., now.

I sent word that I wuz there and craved a augence, which wuz gladly granted. She had hearn of me and I had hearn of her, which made everything agreeable. So at the appinted hour I wuz ushered by one of her hired men into her presence. I liked her looks first rate; of course she hain’t what you may call handsome, and her complection is pretty middlin’ dark, but she has a good look and a good way with her. She came forward and greeted me with great cordiality and gin the hand I extended a warm grasp, and I hern visey versey, and sez she:

“I am glad to see you, Josiah Allen’s wife.” And I sez, speakin’ the name Liliukolani well as I could, “I also am glad to hail the Queen of the Sandwich Islands.”

That tickled her, and she sez: “I was not deceived in you; you are one who can recognize royalty if the cloud of adversity and trouble is wreathin’ it in its black folds.”

And I sez, “Clouds often covers the sun and moon, but the light is there jest the same.” I felt to pity her as she went on and related her troubles to me. Her throne kicked out from under her by them that wanted to set down on it, the high chairs of her loyal friends took by her enemies who craved the soft cushions. Even her private property grabbed away from her. Why, how should any of us feel to have a neighbor walk in when we wuz havin’ a family quarrel and jest clean us out of everything––kitchen stove, bureau, bed and beddin’ and everything; why, it would rile us to our depths, any on us.

She sez, “I feel that my kingdom wuz stole away from me.” And I sez:

“I know jest how you feel. There wuz a woodsy island 113 down in our creek that Josiah had called hisen for years and years, rained peaceful and prosperous over so we spozed, it made a dretful handy place for our young stock to stand in the shade in the summer, and our ducks and geese jest made their hum there, but what should Bill Yerden do when he bought the old Shelmadine place but jest scoop up that island and try to prove that it wuz hisen. It wuz jest stealin’, Josiah and I always felt so. But he wuz down with tizik at the time, and I wore out nussin’ him, and Bill put bob iron fence round it, real sharp bobs, too, and we had to gin in. Of course it wuzn’t a big spot, but we despised the idee of havin’ it took from us just as much as though it wuz the hull contient of Asia, and we can’t git over it, Josiah nor me can’t. And I know jest how you feel, and I sympathize with you.”

And she sez, “Sympathy is sweet, but justice is sweeter.”

And I sez, “That is so, but when you can’t git justice, sympathy is better than nothin’.”

“Yes,” sez she, “I know it, but I am lookin’ forward to the day when I shall git my rights agin. I am jest as much a queen as Queen Alexandra is to-day, and my kingdom is just as much mine.”

Sez I, “That is just the way Josiah and I feel; we can’t help lookin’ forward to gittin’ our rights, but don’t spoze we ever shall, for life is short, and Josiah don’t want any more of our live stock tore up on them bobs; and, as I’ve said to Josiah many a time, Bill Yerden feels guilty, or he wouldn’t rare up such sharp defences round it.”

Well, we had a good deal more of jest such profitable and interestin’ talk as two such great wimmen would naterally, and we parted away from each other with a cordial hand shake and mutual good feelin’. But she called me back and sez she: “I want to give you one word of solemn warnin’ before we part,” and I stopped stun still and listened.

“I don’t know,” sez she, “as you’ll ever be a queen.”

“Well, mebby not,” sez I, “but I am thought a sight on in Jonesville, and there is no knowin’ what may happen.”

“Well,” sez she, “if you ever are a queen, a ruler of a kingdom, don’t let any other nation protect you. Protectin’,” sez she, “has been the ruin of more than one individual and nation.”

And I promised her that I would look out for it if I ever wuz a queen, but reminded her that there wuz times too when it came handy, and saved our necks to be protected, and then I finished, gracefully backin’ out of her presence. I like her first rate, and believe she is a likely woman; I believe she has been lied about, she jest the same as told me she had; if she wuz a woman that took in washin’s for a livin’ there wouldn’t have been so much said about her. Why, it is jest as easy for envious folks to run them high in position and try to demean ’em as it is to fall off a log.