Samantha at Saratoga by Marietta Holley (online e book reader TXT) 📕

The boat wuz rigged out to look like a swan with its wings a comin’ up each side of the boy. And down on the water, a sailin’ along closely and silently wuz another swan, a shadow swan, a follerin’ it right along. It wuz a fair seen.

And Josiah sez to me, “He should ride that boat before he left Saratoga; he said that wuz a undertakin’ that a man might be proud to accomplish.”

Sez I, “Josiah Allen, don’t you do anything of the kind.”

“I must, Samantha,” sez he. And then he got all animated about fixin’ up a boat like it at home. Sez he, “Don’t you think it would be splendid to have one on the canal jest beyond the orchard?” And sez he, “Mebby, bein’ on a farm, it would be more appropriate to have a big goose sculptured out on it; don’t you think so?”

Sez I, “Yes, it would be fur more appropriate, and a goose a ridin’ on it. But,” sez I, “you will never go into that undertakin’ with my consent, Josiah Allen.”

“Why,” sez he, “it would be a beautiful recreation; so uneek.”

But at that minute Miss Flamm gin the order to turn round and start for the Moon, or that is how I understood her, and I whispered to Josiah and sez, “She means to go in the buggy, for the land’s sake!”

And Josiah sez, “Wall, I haint a goin’ and you haint. I won’t let you go into anythin’ so dangerus. She will probably drive into a baloon before long, and go up in that way, but jest before she drives in, you and I will get out, Samantha, if we have to walk back.”

“I never heard of anybody goin’ up in a baloon with two horses and a buggy,” sez I.

“Wall, new things are a happenin’ all the time, Samantha. And I heard a feller a talkin’ about it yesterday. You know they are a havin’ the big political convention here, and he said, (he wuz a real cute chap too,) he said, ‘if the wind wasted in that convention could be utilized by pipes goin’ up out of the ruff of that buildin’ where it is held,’ he said, ‘it would take a man up to the moon.’ I heerd him say it. And now, who knows but they have got it all fixed. There wuz dretful windy speeches there this mornin’. I hearn ’em, and I’ll bet that is her idee, of bein’ the first one to try it; she is so fashionable. But I haint a goin’ up in no sech a way.”

“No,” sez I. “Nor I nuther. It would be fur from my wishes to be carried up to the skies on the wind of a political convention. “Though,” sez I reasonably, “I haint a doubt that there wuz sights, and sights of it used there.”

But jest at this minute Miss Flamm got through talkin’ with her relatives about the road, and settled down to caressin’ the dog ag’in, and Josiah hadn’t time to remark any further, only to say, “Watch me, Samantha, and when I say jump, jump.”

And then we sot still but watchful. And Miss Flamm kissed the dog several times and pressed him to her heart that throbbed full of such a boundless love for him. And he lifted his head and snapped at a fly, and barked at my companion with a renewed energy, and showed his intellect and delightful qualities in sech remarkable ways, that filled Miss Flamm’s soul deep with a proud joy in him. And then he went to sleep a layin, down in her lap, a mashin’ down the delicate lace and embroidery and beads. He had been a eating the beads, I see him gnaw off more than two dozen of ’em, and I called her attention to it, but she said, “The dear little darlin’ had to have some such recreation.” And she let him go on with it, a mowin’ ’em down, as long as he seemed to have a appetite for ’em. And ag’in she called him “angel.” The idee of a angel a gnawin’ off beads and a yelpin’!

And I asked her, and I couldn’t help it. How her baby wuz that afternoon, and if she ever took it out to drive?

And she said she didn’t really know how it wuz this afternoon; it wuzn’t very well in the mornin’. The nurse had it out somewhere, she didn’t really know just where. And she said, no, she didn’t take it out with her at all—fur she didn’t feel equal to the care of it, in this hot weather.

Miss Flamm haint very well I could see that. The care of that dog is jest a killin’ her, a carryin’ it round with her all the time daytimes, and a bein’ up with it so much nights. She said it had a dretful chill the night before, and she had to get up to warm blankets to put round it; “its nerves wuz so weak,” she said, “and it wuz so sensative that she could not trust it to a nurse.” She has a hard time of it; there haint a doubt of it.

Wall, it wuz anon, or jest about anon, that Miss Flamm turned to me and sez, “Moon’s is one of the pleasantest places on the lake. I want you to see it; folks drive out there a sight from Saratoga.”

And then I looked at Josiah, and Josiah looked at me, and peace and happiness settled down ag’in onto our hearts.

Wall, we got there considerably before anon and we found that Moon’s insted of bein’ up in another planet wuz a big, long sort a low buildin’ settled right down onto this old earth, with a immense piazza stretchin’ along the side on’t.

And Miss Flamm and Josiah and me disembarked from the carriage right onto the end of it. But the dog and her relatives stayed back in the buggy and Josiah spoke bitterly to me ag’in but low, “They think it would hurt ’em to associate with me a little, dumb ’m; but I am jest as good as they be any day of the week, if I haint dressed up so fancy.”

“That’s so,” sez I, whisperin’ back to him, “and don’t let it worry you a mite. Don’t try to act like Haman,” sez I. “You are havin’ lots of the good things of this world, and are goin’ to have some fried potatoes. Don’t let them two Mordecais at the gate, poison all your happiness, or you may get come up with jest as Haman wuz.”

“I’d love to hang’em,” sez he, “as high as Haman’s gallows would let ’em hang.”

“Why,” sez I, “they haint injured you in any way. They seem to eat like perfect gentlemen. A little too exclusive and aristocratic, mebby, but they haint done nothin’ to you.”

“No,” sez he, “that is the stick on it, here we be, three men with a lot of wimmen. And they can’t associate with me as man with man, but set off by themselves too dumb proud to say a word to me, that is the dumb of it.”

But at this very minute, before I could rebuke him for his feerful profanity, Miss Flamm motioned to us to come and take a seat round a little table, and consequently we sot.

It was a long broad piazza with sights and sights of folks on it a settin’ round little tables like our’n, and all a lookin’ happy, and a laughin’, and a talkin’ and a drinkin’ different drinks, sech as lemonade, etc., and eatin’ fried potatoes and sech.