Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife by Marietta Holley (ereader with dictionary .TXT) 📕

and the hull universe for me. But I kep’ a calm frame outside; I answered Miss Meechim’s remarks mekanically and soothed her nervous apprehensions as well as I could as she glanced fearfully at male admirers by remarkin’ in a casual way to her “that New York and the hull world wuz full of pretty women and girls,” which made her look calmer, and then I fell in to once with her scheme of drivin’ up the long, handsome 27 Boolevard, acrost the long bridge, up to the tomb of Our Hero, General Grant.

Hallowed place! dear and precious to the hull country. The place where the ashes lie that wuz once the casket of that brave heart. Good husband, kind father, true friend, great General, grand Hero, sleeping here by the murmuring waters of the stream he loved, in the city of his choice, sleeping sweetly and calmly while the whole world wakes to do him honor and cherish and revere his memory.

I had big emotions here, I always did, and spoze I always shall. But, alas! true it wuz that even over the memory of that matchless Hero riz up in my heart the remembrance of one who wuz never heroic, onheeded and onthought on by his country, but––oh! how dear to me!

The memory of his words, often terse and short specially before meal-time, echoed high above the memory of him who talked with Kings and Emperors, ruled armies and hushed the seething battle-cry, and the nation’s clamor with “Let us have peace.”

But I will not agin fall into harrow, or drag my readers there, but will simply state that, in all the seens of beauty and grandeur we looked on that day––and Miss Meechim wanted to see all and everything, from magestick meetin’ houses and mansions, bearin’ the stamp of millions of dollars, beautiful arches lifted up to heroes and the national honor, even down to the Brooklyn Bridge and the Goddess of Liberty––over all that memory rained supreme.

The Goddess of Liberty holdin’ aloft her blazin’ torch rousted up the enthusiastick admiration of Dorothy and Miss Meechim. But I thought as I looked on it that she kinder lifted her arm some as I had seen my dear pardner lift his up when he wuz a-fixin’ a stove pipe overhead; and that long span uniting New York and Brooklyn only brought to me thoughts of the length and strength of that apron-string to which I clung and must cling even though death ensued.

Well, after a long time of sight-seeing we returned to 28 our hotel, and, after dinner, which they called luncheon, I laid down a spell with Tommy, for I felt indeed tuckered out with my emotions outside and inside. Tommy dropped off to sleep to once like a lamb, and I bein’ beat out, lost myself, too, and evening wuz almost lettin’ down her mantilly spangled with stars, when I woke, Tommy still sleepin’ peacefully, every minute bringin’ health and strength to him I knew.

Miss Meechim and Dorothy had been to some of the big department stores where you can buy everything under one ruff from a elephant to a toothpick, and have a picture gallery and concert throwed in. They had got a big trunk full of things to wear. I wondered what they wanted of ’em when they wuz goin’ off on another long journey so soon; but considered that it wuzn’t my funeral or my tradin’ so said nothin’.

Anon we went down and had a good supper, which they called dinner, after which they went to the opera. Aronette tended to packin’ their clothes, and offered to help me pack. But as I told her I hadn’t onpacked nothin’ but my nightgown and sheepshead night-cap I could git along with it, specially as sheepshead night-caps packed easier than full crowned ones.

So I took Tommy out for a little walk on the broad beautiful sidewalks, and it diverted him to see the crowds of handsomely dressed men and women all seemin’ to hurry to git to some place right off, and the children who didn’t seem to be in any hurry, and in seein’ the big carriages roll by, some drawed by prancin’ horses, and some by nothin’ at all, so fur as we could see, which rousted up Tommy’s wonder, and it all diverted him a little and mebby it did me too, and then we retired to our room and had a middlin’ good night’s rest, though hanted by Jonesville dreams, and the next morning we left for Chicago.

Dorothy had never seen Niagara Falls or Saratoga, so we went a few milds out of our way that she might see 29 Saratoga’s monster hotels, the biggest in the world; and take a drink of the healin’ waters of the springs that gushes up so different right by the side of each other, showin’ what a rich reservoir the earth is, if we only knew how to tap it, and where.

We didn’t stay at Saratoga only over one train; but drove through the broad handsome streets, and walked through beautiful Congress Park, and then away to Niagara Falls.

It wuz a bright moonlight night when we stood on the bridge not far from the tarven where we had our sup––dinner. And Dorothy and Miss Meechim wuz almost speechless with awe and admiration, they said “Oh, how sublime! Oh! how grand!” as they see the enormous body of water sweepin’ down that immense distance. The hull waters of the hull chain of Lakes, or inland Seas, sweepin’ down in one great avalanche of water.

I wanted dretfully to go and see the place where the cunning and wisdom of man has set a trap to ketch the power of that great liquid Geni, who has ruled it over his mighty watery kingdom sence the creation, and I spoze always calculated to; throwin’ men about, and drawin’ ’em down into its whirlpool jest like forest leaves or blades of grass.

Who would have dremp chainin’ down that resistless, mighty force and make it bile tea-kettles; and light babys to their trundle beds, and turn coffee mills, and light up meetin’ houses, and draw canal boats and propel long trains of cars. How it roared and took on when the subject wuz first broke to it. But it had to yield, as the twentieth century approached and the millennium drew nigh; men not so very big boned either, but knowin’ quite a lot, jest chained that great roarin’ obstropulous Geni, and has made it do good work. After rulin’ the centuries with a high hand nobody dastin’ to go nigh it, it wuz that powerful and awful in its might and magesty, it has been made to serve, jest as the Bible sez:

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“He that is mightiest amongst you shall be your servant,” or words to that effect.

But it is a sight, I spoze, to see all the performances they had to go through, the hard labor of years and years, to persuade Niagara to do what they had planned for it to do.

But as I say, this great giant is chained by one foot, as it were, and is doin’ good day’s works, and no knowin’ how much more will be put on it to do when the rest of its strength is buckled down to work. All over the great Empire State, mebby, he will have to light the evenin’ lamps, and cook the mornin’ meals, and bring acrost the continent the food he cooks, and turn the mills that grinds the flour to make the bread he toasts, and sow the wheat that makes the flour, and talk for all the millions of people and play their music for them––I d’no what he won’t be made to do, and Josiah don’t, but I spoze it is a sight to see the monster trap they built to hold this great Force. We wanted to go there, but hadn’t time.

But to resoom backwards a spell. Miss Meechim and Dorothy was perfectly awe-struck to see and hear the Falls, and I didn’t wonder.

But I had seen it before with my beloved pardner by my side, and it seemed to me as if Niagara missed him, and its great voice seemed to roar out: “Where is Josiah? Where is Josiah? Why are you here without him? Swish, swash, roar, roar, Where is Josiah? Where? Roar! Where?”

Oh, the emotions I had as I stood there under the cold light of the moon, cold waters rushin’ down into a cold tomb; cold as a frog the hull thing seemed, and full of a infinite desolation. But I knew that if Love had stood there by my side, personified in a small-sized figger, the hull seen would have bloomed rosy. Yes, as I listened to the awestruck, admirin’ axents of the twain with me, them words of the Poet come back to me: “How the light of the hull life dies when love is gone.”

“Oh,” sez Miss Meechim, as we walked back to the 31 tarven, takin’ in the sooveneer store on the way, “oh, what a immense body of water! how tumultous it sweeps down into the abyss below!” I answered mekanically, for I thought of one who wuz also tumultous at times, but after a good meal subsided down into quiet, some as the waters of Niagara did after a spell.

And Dorothy sez, “How the grand triumphal march of the great Lakes, as they hurry onwards towards the ocean, shakes the very earth in their wild haste.”

I sez mekanically, “Yes, indeed!” but my thoughts wuz of one who had often pranced ’round and tromped, and even kicked in his haste, and shook the wood-house floor. Ah, how, how could I forgit him?

And at the sooveneer stores, oh, how I wuz reminded of him there! how he had cautioned me aginst buyin’ in that very spot; how he had stood by me till he had led me forth empty-handed towards the tarven. Ah well, I tried to shake off my gloom, and Tommy waked up soon after our return (Aronette, good little creeter! had stayed right by him), and we all had a good meal, and then embarked on the sleeping car. I laid Tommy out carefully on the top shelf, and covered him up, and then partially ondressed and stretched my own weary frame on my own shelf and tried to woo the embrace of Morphine, but I could not, so I got up and kinder sot, and took out my pad and writ a little more in my letter to my help.

Sez I, “Philury, if Josiah takes cold, steep some lobely and catnip, half and half; if he won’t take it Ury must hold him and you pour it down. Don’t sell yourself short of eggs, Josiah loves ’em and they cost high out of season. Don’t let the neighbors put upon him because I went off and left him. Give my love to Waitstill Webb and Elder White, give it to ’em simeltaneous and together, tell ’em how much I think on ’em both for the good they’re doin’. Tell Arvilly I often think of her and what she has went through and pity her. Give a hen to the widder Gowdey 32 for Christmas. Let Josiah carry it, or no, I guess Ury had better, I am away and folks might talk. The ketch on the outside suller door had better be fixed so it can’t blow open. Josiah’s thickest socks are in the under draw, and the pieces to mend his overhalls in a calico bag behind the clothespress door. Guard that man like the apples in your eyes, Philury, and you’ll be glad bime by. So no more. To be continude.”

Agin I laid down and tried to sleep; in vain, my thoughts, my heart wuz in Jonesville, so I riz up agin as fur as I could and took my handkerchief pin offen the curtain where I had pinned it and looked at it long and sadly. I hadn’t took any picture of Josiah with me, I hadn’t but one and wuz afraid I should lose it. He hain’t been willin’ to be took sence he wuz bald, and I knew that his picture wuz engraved on my heart in deeper lines than any camera or kodak could do it. But I had a handkerchief pin that looked like him, I bought it to the World’s Fair, it wuz took of Columbus. You know Columbus wuz a changeable lookin’ critter in his pictures, if he looked like all on ’em he must have been fitty, and Miss Columbus must have had a hard time to git along with him. This looked like Josiah, only with more hair, but I held my thumb over the top, and I could almost hear Josiah speak. I might have had a lock of his hair to wep’ over, but my devoted love kep’ me from takin’ it; I knew that he couldn’t afford to spare a hair with winter