American library books ยป Humor ยป A Man of Means by P. G. Wodehouse (best novels for teenagers .txt) ๐Ÿ“•

Read book online ยซA Man of Means by P. G. Wodehouse (best novels for teenagers .txt) ๐Ÿ“•ยป.   Author   -   P. G. Wodehouse



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of the canny inhabitants of Lexingham to avail themselves of this chance of a breath of fresh air. M. Feriaud, a small man with a chubby and amiable face, wandered about signing picture cards and smoking a lighted cigaret, looking a little disappointed.

Albert Potter was scornful.

โ€œLot of rabbits,โ€ he said. โ€œWhere's their pluck? And I suppose they call themselves Englishmen. I'd go up precious quick if I had a five-pound note. Disgrace, I call it, letting a Frenchman have the laugh of us.โ€

It was a long speech for Mr. Potter, and it drew a look of respectful tenderness from Muriel. โ€œYou're so brave, Mr. Potter,โ€ she said.

Whether it was the slight emphasis which she put on the first word, or whether it was sheer generosity that impelled him, one can not say; but Roland produced the required sum even while she spoke. He offered it to his rival.

Mr. Potter started, turned a little pale, then drew himself up and waved the note aside.

โ€œI take no favors,โ€ he said with dignity.

There was a pause.

โ€œWhy don't you do it.โ€ said Albert, nastily. โ€œFive pounds is nothing to you.โ€

โ€œWhy should I?โ€

โ€œAh! Why should you?โ€

It would be useless to assert that Mr. Potter's tone was friendly. It stung Roland. It seemed to him that Muriel was looking at him in an unpleasantly contemptuous manner.

In some curious fashion, without doing anything to merit it, he had apparently become an object of scorn and derision to the party.

โ€œAll right, then, I will,โ€ he said suddenly.

โ€œEasy enough to talk,โ€ said Albert.

Roland strode with a pale but determined face to the spot where M. Feriaud, beaming politely, was signing a picture post-card.

Some feeling of compunction appeared to come to Muriel at the eleventh hour.

โ€œDon't let him,โ€ she cried.

But Brother Frank was made of sterner stuff. This was precisely the sort of thing which, in his opinion, made for a jolly afternoon.

For years he had been waiting for something of this kind. He was experiencing that pleasant thrill which comes to a certain type of person when the victim of a murder in the morning paper is an acquaintance of theirs.

โ€œWhat are you talking about?โ€ he said. โ€œThere's no danger. At least, not much. He might easily come down all right. Besides, he wants to. What do you want to go interfering for?โ€

Roland returned. The negotiations with the bird-man had lasted a little longer than one would have expected. But then, of course, M. Feriaud was a foreigner, and Roland's French was not fluent.

He took Muriel's hand.

โ€œGood-by,โ€ he said.

He shook hands with the rest of the party, even with Albert Potter. It struck Frank that he was making too much fuss over a trifleโ€”and, worse, delaying the start of the proceedings.

โ€œWhat's it all about?โ€ he demanded. โ€œYou go on as if we were never going to see you again.โ€

โ€œYou never know.โ€

โ€œIt's as safe as being in bed.โ€

โ€œBut still, in case we never meet againโ€”โ€”โ€

โ€œOh, well,โ€ said Brother Frank, and took the outstretched hand.

The little party stood and watched as the aeroplane moved swiftly along the ground, rose, and soared into the air. Higher and higher it rose, till the features of the two occupants were almost invisible.

โ€œNow,โ€ said Brother Frank. โ€œNow watch. Now he's going to loop the loop.โ€

But the wheels of the aeroplane still pointed to the ground. It grew smaller and smaller. It was a mere speck.

โ€œWhat the dickens?โ€

Far away to the West something showed up against the blue of the skyโ€”something that might have been a bird, a toy kite, or an aeroplane traveling rapidly into the sunset.

Four pairs of eyes followed it in rapt silence.





THE EPISODE OF THE FINANCIAL NAPOLEON

Second of a Series of Six Stories [First published in Pictorial Review, June 1916]

Seated with his wife at breakfast on the veranda which overlooked the rolling lawns and leafy woods of his charming Sussex home, Geoffrey Windlebird, the great financier, was enjoying the morning sun to the full. His chubby features were relaxed in a smile of lazy contentment; and his wife, who liked to act sometimes as his secretary, found it difficult to get him to pay any attention to his morning's mail.

โ€œThere's a column in to-day's Financial Argus,โ€ she said, โ€œof which you really must take notice. It's most abusive. It's about the Wildcat Reef. They assert that there never was any gold in the mine, and that you knew it when you floated the company.โ€

โ€œThey will have their little joke.โ€

โ€œBut you had the usual mining-expert's report.โ€

โ€œOf course we had. And a capital report it was. I remember thinking at the time what a neat turn of phrase the fellow had. I admit he depended rather on his fine optimism than on any examination of the mine. As a matter of fact, he never went near it. And why should he? It's down in South America somewhere. Awful climateโ€”snakes, mosquitoes, revolutions, fever.โ€

Mr. Windlebird spoke drowsily. His eyes closed.

โ€œWell, the Argus people say that they have sent a man of their own out there to make inquiries, a well-known expert, and the report will be in within the next fortnight. They say they will publish it in their next number but one. What are you going to do about it?โ€

Mr. Windlebird yawned.

โ€œNot to put too fine a point on it, dearest, the game is up. The Napoleon of Finance is about to meet his Waterloo. And all for twenty thousand pounds. That is the really bitter part of it. To-morrow we sail for the Argentine. I've got the tickets.โ€

โ€œYou're joking, Geoffrey. You must be able to raise twenty thousand. It's a flea-bite.โ€

โ€œOn paperโ€”in the form of shares, script, bonds, promissory notes, it is a flea-bite. But when it has to be produced in the raw, in flat, hard lumps of gold or in crackling bank-notes, it's more like a bite from a hippopotamus. I can't raise it, and that's all about it. Soโ€”St.

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