When a Southern Woman Rambles... by L. Avery Brown (best ereader for pdf .TXT) π
So, grab a tall glass of whatever you like and get ready to laugh at the various and truly tragic Tales of Beauty brought to you by a certified Southern Belle. (Because sometimes that's all we CAN do!)
"When a Southern Woman Rambles... it isn't 'rambling'. Every word has meaning, every raised eyebrow and pursed lip has a purpose, and all those smiles tell a story. What's more, a Southern woman can ramble on about ANYTHING!"
Get ready for a giggle.
Read free book Β«When a Southern Woman Rambles... by L. Avery Brown (best ereader for pdf .TXT) πΒ» - read online or download for free at americanlibrarybooks.com
- Author: L. Avery Brown
Read book online Β«When a Southern Woman Rambles... by L. Avery Brown (best ereader for pdf .TXT) πΒ». Author - L. Avery Brown
To begin, it was evident to me that just like her daughter, Maw-ma, who I am sure taught her daughter the ancient art of self-pluckification, had obviously spent an abundance of time over her many years grooming her own brows to almost nothing. But unlike her daughter who made no attempt to dress up what little hair she had remaining on the expanse between her hairline and her eyes, Maw-ma had drawn on fairly thick, high arched, slightly off-kilter eyebrows with a brown eye pencil that made her look as if she was perpetually surprised. Though I will say the lavender eye shadow that covered her droopy lids matched her sweat pants amazingly well and Iβve no doubt it was done purposefully which leads me to wonder if Maw-ma has a huge color wheel of eye shadow at home so she can coordinate her look before stepping out onto the town.
Now honestly, I did try to put the two women out of my mind as I gathered the items on my shopping listβ¦I really did. But the words that had been waiting so long to be written were already spinning around in my head. And then when I got to the checkout register to pay for my items I couldnβt help but see that they were in the line next to me. Unfortunately, from my perspective I could only see their backs. However, I could see the faces of Pammi, a new clerk at the store, and the bagger, Jon, helping her. And when Pammi, a young woman who was probably all of nineteen years old, looked up from her register to ask if the women had a frequent shopper card, the look of utter shock that crossed the newbie clerk and at that moment was to die for. Yes, I knew without a doubt that she, too, had been dumbfounded...no, no....intrigued by their significantly...oh, heaven's me where are my manners?...a little more than slightly over-tended brows.
The ladies paid for their items and exited the store just as I was pulling out my credit card to pay for my own goods. As I swiped my credit card through the little reader, I glanced up to see and hear Pammi not so covertly whispering to Jon, βOh, my God! Did you see those ladies eyebrows?β
Where upon Jon simply smiled and said, βYeah, they come in every Tuesday like clockwork.β gh the little reader, I glanced up to see and hear Pammi not so covertly whispering to Jon, βOh, my God! Did you see those ladies eyebrows?β
Geez, if only Iβd made my way to the grocery store 50-some-odd Tuesdays agoβ¦I would have had one less weird thought running through my already goofy head!
The moral of this particular Tragic Tale of Beauty β
Thou shalt not self-pluck thine eyebrows lest thou be ambidextrous!
Imprint
Text: L. Avery Brown
Images: L. Avery Brown
Publication Date: 07-15-2013
All Rights Reserved
Dedication:
For women and men alike who have had an "OH NO!" beauty moment ...take ownership of your beauty boo-boos and know that you are not alone. We have ALL been there...some of us MORE than others!
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