No Limits by Me :) (read novel full TXT) 📕

felt equally both ways, one person doesn't love more than the other. One person isn't fighting for the relationship more than the other, its equal. Whenever one makes a mistake, the other must forgive, wether it's big or small, they'll always forgive you because they love you.

Unconditional love is also doing whatever it takes to help that special person out. You'd do anything for them, if it were just buying them a meal because they forgot their wallet or if it were leaving an important meeting at work to save them from a fatal scene, anything, they'd be there.

Unconditional love isn't all about the grand gestures, proving your love for that person. But also the small ones, the "I love you"s, the cute little messages, the spontaneous flowers sent on no special occasion, and the fact that you are there. That's unconditional love.

 

05-14-2016

~ What do you wish others knew about you? ~

 I wish that all my friends, family, acquaintances, and others knew me. I want them to know that I have a heart and feelings, I want them to know that I understand what they do to me, I want them to know the way it feels to be treated the way they treat me. 

They all use me, whether it's for a pen or paper, whether it's for money or better grades, they all do it. I find it hard to realise who is real to me and who isn't. Sometimes, there are people who are in between, who are both people at the same time. They use me, but they also care about me. After years of going through this, I still don't know what to do about those particular people. 

I want those people to realise that I know they're using me. I want them to understand how I feel, the pain and agony, the uncertain feeling of whether they actually like me as a person or if they are just using me. I want them to know that I want to yell "NO!" to you but I know, I will give in, and do as you wish. I want them to feel the guilt, I want them to have a heart and treat me as a person and not as a slave. I don't want to feel like I am there because they'll eventually need something ou to of me. I don't want to feel used. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel as if people actually enjoy my presence. I want to feel like a loved person.

 

06-05-2016 

~ What do you see when you look in the mirror? ~

 Honestly, when I look in a mirror, I see a pretty teenage girl. Not beautiful, not perfect, not ugly, not disgusting, but definitely pretty. I don't see a girl who is too fat. I don't see an insecure, small, teenage girl. I see a comfortable in her own skin, asian girl with long flawless black hair, big thighs, small feet, a chubby face, and getting near her summer goal of a flat stomach. 

I see a girl who is afraid of what others think of her but doesn't show it. I see a girl who knows she doesn't know how to defend herself, whether it's bullies or her friends. I see a girl who is unable to tell someone "no" thinking others will judge her for it. I see a girl who wants to be liked by everyone, a girl who wants to be invited to all the parties but in the end, she isn't. This girl, ends up sitting alone in bed, depressed, confused, and insecure.

I see a girl who started eating healthy, working out daily, buying new clothes, wearing more make up, not only to feel better about herself, to feel good in her own body but a girl who just wants the guys to look at her differently. I see a girl who is a sign of innocence, but deep inside, the devil wants to come out, he's just waiting for his chance.

Deep inside, this is what I see when I look in the mirror. Otherwise, I still see a pretty girl who is comfortable in her own skin, who is big but doesn't care much, and is short but embraces it. I see a girl who has her insecurites but knows how to hide them, as if it were her job, as if she'd die if she didn't.

 

06-05-2016

~ What is/was your current/last romantic relationship like? ~

I've never had one. Sometimes, I have those nights, like these. I lay in bed, feeling empty, alone. As if I were missing something, someone. I lay here, wishing that one day, some time soon, I will have someone to comfort me on these nights. Someone to hold me tight. Someone who would never let me go.

Sometimes, I just lay there, unable to fall asleep because of the emptiness I feel inside of me, around me. So I grab a pillow or my snowman stuffed animal and hug it. I hug it tight, hoping that one day, I will have an actual person in my arms instead of stuffed cotton...

On these nights, I open my window wide and sit by the window seal on my desk table. I sit there snuggling my pillow or snowman... I look up at the sky, watching the stars and the moon, observing them. I get into thought, about the others who are watching the stars with me, and maybe, one of those people will be with me one day instead of looking out their bedroom window.

Sometimes, I sit there so long, I hear the birds start chirping and the sun starts to rise. Sometimes, I sit there so long, I forget that I am sitting there alone. But sometimes, I just fall asleep, feeling empty and alone. Without any hope of having anyone, ever.

 

07-23-2016 

~ Playing 21 questions with someone, what are your questions? ~ Which Disney movie/Disney princess is your all-time favorite? If you could only hear onesong for the rest of your life, what would it be? Who is your number one most favorite person in the world? If you were to be the last person in the world, yet had the choice to keep one person with you, who would it be? Would you rather be rich or famous? (both is not an allowed answer) What is your most favorite TV series or movie ever? What is the biggest lie you have ever told? If necessary, explain. If you had a time machine, would you go back in time or to the furture? Would you rather live in the city, or in the country? What superpower do you want to have the most? What do you find hilarious but most people don’t find funny? What are two things you know you should know how to do but don't? How useful would you be in a zombie apocalypse?  What childish thing(s) do you still enjoy? What were you really into when you were younger but now think is silly? Who is/was one of your idols? What’s something you were really stressed about, it turned out to be no big deal? When you are day dreaming, what do you dream about? What seemed normal in your family when you were growing up, but seems weird now? What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? What is your biggest turn on?

 

 02-09-2017

~ What is on your mind right now? ~

 So, it's been a while. Since I've updated this book, since I've updated any book, since I've written anything at all. A lot has changed in my life. I'm finally 18 I've had my first kiss. I got together with that person, two weeks after that kiss and not talking. He broke up with me by text a day and a half later, after kissing me goodbye 30 minutes before. Fucking asshole didn't have the guts to say it to me straight. Didn't like the guy that much anyways, I just really enjoyed the affection, a type of physical affection that I've never had with anyone ever before. 

Anyways, this isn't about him. As I am currently wriing this, I don't have a title question for this chapter yet. I'm not sure what I am doing. I'm notin a great place right now and really wanted to write, I miss it, but I don't have the time. Writing used to take