Silence by Rebekah Shimer (summer books TXT) 📕

I had to bring up the surgery didn’t I? What was wrong with me? This poor guy had just gone through surgery and I was making jokes about it?

I sighed heavily and said, “I’m sorry Edwyn.”

He asked me, “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.”

I didn’t want to say it, but I knew that it had to be said.

“I put that blade into your skin.”

He gripped my hand tightly and said, “No you didn’t. Do not tell yourself that the person holding that knife was you because it wasn’t. Bruce made you do it. Please don’t blame yourself for that one Audrey. Please.”

He was begging me not to be guilty? That was like begging him not to run when he was stressed while he could run.

I sighed heavily and said, “I know that I’m not supposed to, but every time that I look at you, I think of that moment. The knife piercing your skin, making your own blood come out of you. I did that. I could’ve fought against Bruce, but I didn’t. I guess you’re the stronger one out of the two of us.”

“Audrey. How can I be the strongest one when I don’t even have my legs right now? You’re obviously the stronger one.”

Did he really think that I just made all of the hope that I had out of thin air?

I shook my head and said sternly, “I meant mentally stronger. You are what holds me up so to say.”

He shook my head and said, “I think you’re the stronger one.”

I could tell that he wanted to turn the conversation to more carefree talk, so I happily obliged.

I said jokingly, “Oh yeah. If I could get all of your mental strength and make it physical, I could’ve easily taken down Bruce right away.”

He smiled one of his true smiles and said jokingly, “Honestly? You think you could’ve taken on Bruce? Really?”

A nurse came in at that moment and told me, “I’m sorry but Edwyn here needs his rest. You can come visit him tomorrow if you’d like.”

I nodded and stood up. I pushed the chair back to the corner and smiled at Edwyn. I waved goodbye to him, but he wasn’t going to have that.

He said jokingly, “What is that? Come over here and give me a hug!”

I smiled and walked over to the side of his bed. He brought me down and tightly hugged me. I was about to let go of him, but he kissed my cheek before I could’ve moved. I beamed even more, just happy that he wasn’t mad at me like my mom said he would be. I stood up straight and waved goodbye to Edwyn, not really wanting to talk after he had kissed me. I might’ve squeaked or something. He smiled and waved goodbye too, almost knowing why neither of us talked. I walked out of the room and towards the elevator. That had definitely gone better than I thought it would’ve. I walked back to where my mom was sitting, only I saw that she had moved outside, where she could talk on her cell phone. She was probably trying to get us a place to stay for the night, since the living room of our house was probably covered in blood.

I looked around the rest of the waiting room and saw that the same man that was sleeping before was now on his laptop, but he still looked really tired. He rubbed his eyes frequently and squinted to see the screen. I walked past the tired man and out towards my mom.

I could hear some of her conversation with the person on the other end, “Please. I know it’s really late notice but . . . well I know that you probably don’t have a lot of room . . . it won't be for a really long time. Maybe a couple of days at the most . . . please. We don’t have anywhere else to go . . . really? Thank you so much! You have no idea how much I appreciate this. Thank you so, so much!”

She hung up her cell phone and breathed in a deep breath.

I asked her quietly, “We have a place to stay then?”

She turned around, surprised that I was behind her and said, “Yes. We are staying at a hotel for a couple of days, at least until the police are done with our house and whatnot. I don’t know if you just want to go home and get some clothes or what.”

I nodded and said, “Yeah some other clothes would be nice.”

She nodded and we got back in her car.

While we were driving to our house, she asked me, “So how’d it go with Edwyn?”

“Better than I thought it was going to. He seemed like he was trying to make the conversation lighter, but I just think that was because he didn’t want to take his anger out on me or something like that.”

She nodded and said, “Well that’s good. I only told you that he might’ve been mad just to prepare you. No one knows how certain people react to different things.”

I nodded my head and we continued the ride to our house in silence. When we had gotten there, policemen were still swarming the house. My mom and I both groaned at the same time as she shut off the car. We got out and I saw the back of Officer James as he walked into the house.

I asked my mom as we walked up to the house, “Will we even be able to take our clothes and stuff or will they use it for evidence or whatever they call it?”

She shrugged her shoulders and said, “Only one way to find out I guess.”

I smiled and we both walked into the house. There were policemen taking pictures, mainly of the living room, but some were taking pictures of the walls that Bruce had thrown me up against. I hadn’t really noticed before, but Bruce threw me into those walls hard enough to make a small dent in the wall every time. My mom gasped at the sight and put her arm around my shoulder. I had no idea what she might’ve been going through, not knowing what was happening in her own house and the fact that her daughter was a witness to the bloody mess in our living room. Officer James walked up to me and tipped his hat at us.

I asked him, “Are we allowed to take some clothes with us? We’re going to go stay in a hotel and we’d really like another change of clothes with us please.”

He nodded and said, “I really don’t see any harm in that, just as long as nothing happened in the rooms that you take clothes from.”

My mom and I both nodded and we went to our rooms to get some clothes. I shuddered as I saw the two wholes that the knife had made in my door, but I opened my door anyways. I walked into my room and sighed heavily. I grabbed a suitcase that I never really used and started to fill it with stuff that I didn’t really look at before throwing it in. When I was done packing, I think that I had only thrown a couple pairs of shorts and a pair of skinny jeans in, but all the rest were shirts. I walked back out into the living room, paying really close attention to remind myself not to look down near the couch, which was where Edwyn was most of the time that Bruce and I had fought. After I had made it outside, I saw that my mom was already waiting for me inside the car. I threw my bag in the trunk and got into the passenger side.

My mom said, “Buckle up. After all that’s happened to you, I wouldn’t want to lose you from a car accident.”

I smiled and buckled my seatbelt. I sat back in my seat and closed my eyes. I was exhausted. I hadn’t really felt it before since I was mostly just running on adrenaline, but at that moment I felt at how tired I really was. My mom turned on the radio, but after she realized that I was falling asleep, she turned it down so it was just faint background music. By the time that we had made it to the hotel, the sunrise was almost up.

My mom said, “I’ll call the school and tell them that you won't be in, but I’m going to take the day off of work too.”

I nodded and looked at our hotel that my mom had rented. It seemed nice enough. It had three stories to it, but all of the walls were painted a brown color that I really didn’t know the name of. I looked behind the hotel and saw that there was a small pond with a few flowers in it. An idea started to form in my head and I smiled as we got out of the car. We took our bags inside to the front desk and my mom took control from there. The person at the front desk gave us our room keys and we walked to our room, which was on the first floor. I set my bag down on the floor as my mom checked the room out. The rooms were well equipped with a bathroom, two beds, and a flat screen TV.

I said quietly, “Hey mom. I’m going to take a small walk. I won't go far I promise.”

She nodded and I walked out of the room. I walked back to where I had seen the old pond and sat down on one of the rocks that was surrounding the pond. I grabbed a handful of flower, one for each friend that I had lost. I counted them out, just to be sure that I had enough and found that there were just enough of them for each person. I picked out which friends were which flower, beings how they were all different colors. Emily’s flower was a red one, Delilah’s flower was a small yellow one, and Logan’s was the fully bloomed orange one. I picked each flower up in my hand and smelled them. Together, they all smelled like a type of candle that people would light to make their house smell like flowers.

I picked up Emily’s flower first and picked all of the petals off of it. I put the petals in a pile on my hand and smiled when the wind picked up. I raised my hands and saw the flower petals fly out of my hand. I watched them soar as far as I could, but I moved on to the next flower when I couldn’t see Emily’s anymore. I picked up Delilah’s flower and I felt tears start to roll down my face. I picked all of the petals off of her flower with the gentleness of a mother and placed each one in my hand carefully. The feel of the petals on my palm was light to the touch. Delilah had always been a softer person. I raised my hands again and let all of the tiny petals flow free in the wind.

The only one left after that was Logan’s flower. I gently picked his up, knowing that tears were flowing down my face. I was ready. I was ready to let him go. I picked each petal off, but this time, taking time between each petal to remember funny memories of our times together. He was definitely the closest friend that I had ever lost, with Delilah being the second closest. When all of the petals were picked off of his flower, I held them in my hand for a few seconds longer. Was I really ready to let Logan go? I knew in my heart that I was, but I didn’t think so in my mind. I