Radley's Labyrinth for Horny Monsters by Annabelle Hawthorne (highly recommended books .txt) 📕

in both arms, fierce determination in her eyes that matched the dark black lines she had painted beneath them using some shoe polish she had found. She had coerced Mike into doing the same, and they both looked ridiculous. Tink wore a small backpack containing a few flashlights, the map, and a box of Pop-Tarts.

Turning the knob to the blue room, Tink pushed open the door, her crossbow at the ready. The room looked like most of the others in the house—sparsely furnished, a place that time had forgotten. The big distinguishing factor was that this room was, in fact, painted blue. For whatever reason, simply being in this space reminded Mike of his long-dead father. He had no proof that his dad had ever stayed here as a child, but Beth, his estate agent, had suggested it on his first night here, and the idea had resonated with him.

“Coast clear,” Tink whispered, sliding in and pointing her crossbow at the closet door.

The door to the closet was closed, the simple white door somehow ominous. Last time they had come here, the closet door had been left open, the interior replaced by the opening to a cave system that was far bigger than the house itself.

“Do you really think the Minotaur left his Labyrinth just to stand behind this door?” Mike asked.

“Tink take no chances,” she said, moving sideways to cover him. “Maybe stupid cow-fuck wait to ruin Tink’s day again.”

Mike didn’t say anything. Tink’s goggles had been an obsession since she had lost them to the Minotaur. They were magical, allowing the wearer to see things that ordinary people couldn’t, and Tink had waited so long only because the house had needed structural repairs to the front deck. This morning, Tink had announced that she had waited long enough and was ready to move forward with Operation Stupid Cow-Fuck (her name, not his).

“Ready?” Mike asked, his hand hovering over the small, white-painted knob.

“Tink ready.” She held up the crossbow, her finger hovering over the trigger.

“Let’s go,” Mike said, yanking open the door. Tink lowered the crossbow, frowning at the closet. Peeking around the corner, Mike saw that the closet was, once again, simply a closet. No sign remained of the cave.

“Try open different,” Tink said, raising her crossbow again. Shrugging, Mike closed the door, gripping the knob differently so that he could turn it the other way.

“Okay, here we go!” Mike yanked open the door before stepping back with his hammer held tight.

“Fuck!” Tink lowered her crossbow. The closet hadn’t changed.

“How do we get the closet to become the cave again?” Mike asked.

“Tink could tell you…if TINK HAD FUCKING GOGGLES!” Tink threw her crossbow to the side, the bolt firing into the ceiling. Mike ducked out of reflex, watching the plaster drift gently down over Tink. The goblin slammed the closet shut, turned her back to it, then opened it while facing away. The cave failed to appear.

“Tink?” Mike asked, but she ignored him. She knocked on the door, kicked it, and even used her mouth to turn the knob, but nothing worked. Whatever ritual had been used to make the cave appear wasn’t a simple one, and Tink’s green face was a mask of fury. She grabbed the closet door hard enough that her claws left marks in the wood.

“Fuck!” Tink slammed the door, tears appearing in her eyes. “Goggles gone forever!”

“We’ll figure this out, I promise.” Mike set down his hammer, kneeling by the goblin. Wrapping her in his arms, he pulled her tight against his body, absorbing her sobs with his shirt.

“Tink miss her goggles. Goggles are Tink’s biggest treasure.” Sniffling, she buried her face in the crook of Mike’s arm. Mike squeezed her as tight as he could. Tink let out a sigh, sinking into him.

“You know, we do know somebody who knows how to open that door,” Mike said.

“We do?” Tink rubbed the tears from her eyes.

“Yeah, but I don’t know how happy she will be to see us.” Mike knew it was a stupid idea, but he couldn’t bear to see her cry any longer. “Let’s head down to the Vault and ask Jenny how to do it.” The doll had led them on a wild chase through the home that had revealed the existence of the Labyrinth in the first place.

“No!” Tink shook her head, her braids dancing over her shoulders. “Little doll mean big trouble! No ask!”

“Then how else do we get in?” Mike asked. “Unless someone wrote directions on that map of the Labyrinth you have, I don’t see us…are you listening?” Tink’s eyes had glassed over, her gaze on the wall behind Mike. Mike grabbed her by the wrists, shaking her arms. “Tink? Tink!”

“Husband have great idea!” Snapping back to reality, Tink grabbed her crossbow and ran out of the room. Mike followed, wondering what the little goblin was up to. Tink dumped her backpack at the foot of the kitchen table and snatched the map from its inner pocket. She climbed onto a chair and spread the map out on the table.

“Tink, what are you doing?” Shaking his head, he stood behind her while she leaned over the old parchment. Tink had retrieved the map from the Vault but had never said much else about it. It was largely complete, though sections of the Labyrinth were missing from its middle.

“Aha!” Tink pointed to the corner of the map. “Tink remember! Big remember!”

“Remember what?” Following her finger, he saw a string of letters and numbers written in the upper corner of the map. “Is that a code for how to get in?”

“Nope!” Grinning, Tink rolled up the map. “Is numbers for the Library!”

“The library?” Mike frowned. “You got this map from a library?”

“The Library, Library in house! Tink see numbers before but still forget. Remember when husband say how to get in? Map come from Library, stuck in Vault after…” Tink’s eyes glazed over again. “Tink no remember that part. But maybe Library know how to open cave!”

“Tink, that’s