Here Be Dragons - 1 by Sharon Penman (best inspirational books txt) 📕

Things are not right between Llewelyn and me, not as they should be. But ere I say one blessed word, you must swear to keep secret whatever I do tell you, swear upon your very soul.""That is insulting, Joanna. Think you that I cannot keep a secret?" Joanna merely looked at her in significant silence, and Isabelle yielded, said reluctantly, "Very well, I do so swear. You surprise me, though. I was so sure you'd take to Llewelyn ...""I did that, in truth," Joanna said ruefully. "I love him, Isabelle. I did not want to, but I do. And now I'm frightened . . . because for the first time Ithink he's starting to see me as a woman. I want so much to believe that, but if I'm wrong ... I do not think I could bear it. I'm afraid to go back, afraid to find out. And I'm afraid, too, that when I do, I'll say or do the wrong thing, that I'll""Joanna, I want to help, I truly do. But I know not what you're talking about.If you love him, what then, is the problem?""That he's not yet taken me to bed," Joanna said, before she could lose her nerve.Isabelle's brows rose. "Why not?""I think . . . think I'm not to his liking, not the way a man wants a woman."Isabelle did not make the conventional polite denial. For several moments, she said nothing, and then she shook her head. "That's not likely, Joanna. I grant you your coloring is unfortunate. But no man thinks of such matters in bed.Now if you were rail-slat thin or partridge plump . . . but you're not, have high breasts, a waist a man could span with his hands" She broke off, began to laugh. "I sound as if I/rn tallying up the finer points of a filly I hope to sellfifteen hands high/ with a gait smooth as silk!"

235Joanna laughed, too Isabella was unpredictable and irreverent, but . could be perversely comforting, too, and Joanna very much wanted5 believe her "Why, then, Isabelle7""Well sometimes a man can be so besotted with one woman that he has no desire to bed with any others," Isabelle said, rather dubiously, nd at once wished she had not, for Joanna looked stricken "But such men are as rare as unicornsAnd you'd know if he were so smitten with a mistress, all the court would know, as when old King Henry doted so shamelessly upon Rosamond Clifford " She signaled for Joanna to pour them wine, added thoughtfully, "Of course, it may just be that he thinks you're too young for bedding or unwilling Have you given him cause for that, Joanna7""Yes I suppose I have," Joanna admitted, startled "He did not seem to want me, you see, so I ""So you returned the favor Foolish but not fatal I daresay you can mend the damage easily enough You need only let him know, Joanna, that you want him in your bed, what could be simpler7" "But how do I do that7 I cannot very well tell him, can I7" "Why not7 I assure you, no man ever took a woman's admission of desire as an insult But there are any number of ways to let a man know you want him Make an excuse to seek him out in his bedchamber, invite him into yours, look upon him with loving eyes, talk softly, tease Dearest, it is so easy, in truth1" "For you, yes, but not for me1""You may be an innocent, Joanna, but your husband is not He'll take your meaning quickly enough In the morning we'll go through my coffers, pick out colors that become you Now I want to show you what John gave me for my name day, a necklet of sapphires and silver "Joanna lay back against the pillows, only half listening to this accounting ofIsabelle's newest acquisition, Isabelle already had, she knew, jewels enough to bedazzle any queen in Christendom But where men were concerned, Isabelle's instincts were sound She must somehow dispel Llewelyn's doubts, let him know she was now most willing to be his wife if, m truth, she had not already done so, out in the November sunlight before half his court And closing her eyes, she gave herself up to remembering the feel of Llewelyn's mouth upon hers, that kiss so sweet, so hot, and so surprisingJOHN had returned to England m good spirits, pleased with the fruits °f his summer campaign His sense of satisfaction had done nothing to curb his innate restlessness, however, and he let neither heavy snows n°r the grumbling of his courtiers slow his pace Landing at Ports-

236mouth on December 12, he held court in the fortnight that follow^ atBeer-Regis, Clarendon, Lugershall, Marlborough, Winchester, and Farnham.This constant, almost compulsive movement set most tempers on edge, for roads were bad, the weather was worse, and accommodations hard to come by for those dragged along in John's wake. Joanna was one of the few to accept the chaos and inconvenience in good humor. For the first time in her life she had money to spend, and she did so with abandon, purchasing bolts of the finest Lincoln wool for Catherine, a magpje and a wicker cage for Gwladys, dolls with dyed hempen wigs for Marared and Gwenllian, wooden tops for Tegwared and Anghared, the twins she'd yet to meet, a sachet of orris root and anise for Enid. She'd even selected an ivory-handled eating knife for Gruffydd, although she felt herself a hypocrite for doing so, knowing she had bought the knife not for the boy, but because she did not want Llewelyn to know she disliked his son. But her greatest joy was in choosing gifts for Llewelyn: a chess set of jasper and crystal, ivory dice, a pellison of soft vair to wear over his tunic. She had even, with some misgivings, purchased two pairs of chamois-skin gloves; gloves were still something of