Fulfillment by Golland, M. (best large ebook reader .txt) 📕

I lovehim so much I can barely breathe, Jessica, and I can’t handleseeing him torture himself any further. Carrying this secret isnothing compared to seeing that.”

“Well, Dear,that’s why I’m here. You no longer have to carry that secretalone.”

***

Shortly aftermy session with Jessica ended, we headed to the Melbourne Cemeteryin order to pay our respects to Gareth. Bryce had been terriblyquiet during the limousine ride, and Lucy had not said much morethan him.

I threaded myarm behind Bryce’s back as we walked along the grass to the marqueeset up for Gareth’s memorial service.

“I know thisis a stupid question on a day like this, but are you alright?” Iasked softly as I leaned my head against his shoulder.

“I’m fine,” heanswered flatly.

I stopped usfrom walking any further, the marquee only meters away. “Bryce, whyare you angry?”

“I’m not.”

“You are.You’re angry with Gareth, and you’re angry with yourself.”

He twitchedhis eye ever so slightly, and I noticed his free hand fist into aball.

I grabbed holdof it and brought it to my lips, kissing it tenderly. “Forstarters, you shouldn’t be angry at yourself. We’ve gone throughthis. None of it was your fault. So please, let it go. Andsecondly, you shouldn’t be angry with Gareth. Scott yes, Garethno.”

He gave me aslight roll of the eye.

“Bryce, don’tblame Gareth for Scott. Gareth was a hero. He saved your brother,pulled him free of a burning car wreck without a second thought. Hesaved me, Bryce.” A tear rolled down my cheek. He lifted his handand wiped it away like so many times before. “He saved my life. Hefought back, took control. He allowed me to get away. Gareth was ahero, don’t ever forget that. Don’t let Scott mar your goodmemories of your cousin. A cousin you cared deeply for, a cousinyou loved like a brother. Don’t be angry with Gareth, okay?” It wasnow my turn to wipe a tear from his eye.

“Okay,” heanswered with mustered courage, then pulling me to him, he placed arenewed kiss on my forehead. “Let’s go say goodbye.”

I gentlytouched his cheek. “I love you, Bryce Clark. You are an amazingman.”

He went to saysomething, and I could tell by the look on his face that hisresponse was going to negate my words to him, so I put my finger tohis lips then continued toward the group of people that were slowlygathering.

We sat underthe make-shift marquee in the hot summer sun, listening to Gareth’slife story, a story of achievement, of loss, of sadness, but alsoof friendship and family. Looking around, Gareth had many friendsand family that cared for him. There were a lot of people I did notknow, but there were also a lot of people I did know, and it warmedmy heart that they had come to pay their respects. I noticed Derek,Abigail, and Santa, together with other board members of ClarkIncorporated. I also noticed Jessica, Patrick the Head Designer,and even Clarissa. But it was Sam who stood beside Abigail, withher head hung low and a tissue scrunched in her hand that had mecatching a breath. She looked so sad, so torn, so heartbroken. Itreally was awful.

I hadn’tspoken to her since the fire and Gareth’s death. I really wasn’tsure what she was thinking or how she felt toward me. It made menervous to think that this may have a detrimental effect on ourfriendship, and if it did, I would try my hardest to make it rightagain. Sam was my friend, an unorthodox one at that, but she was myfriend and had helped me settle in from being a stay-at-home mum toa working professional again—she’d helped keep me sane.

As if she feltme staring at her, she looked up and caught my eye. I smiled at herwarily and hoped for the same response. Thankfully, I got what Ithought was a sympathetic smile back, so I nodded respectfully ather then gripped Bryce’s hand as the minister began to speak.

After theservice and burial, I took a moment to linger above Gareth’s plotwhile clenching a book to my chest. I’d wanted a few moments aloneto pay my respects, having an overwhelming feeling that I had tolet Gareth know in some way that I was aware of what he had donefor me.

I took a deepbreath, knelt down beside his grave and looked down at his casket.“Thank you. I know you sacrificed yourself for me, I could see itin your eyes right before you told me to run. I knew at that momentwhat you planned to do, and I want to let you know that I’m trulysorry I couldn’t help you.”

I wiped thetears from my eyes. “You’ve probably already read this, Gareth, butjust in case you haven’t, I thought you might like it. Plus, youkind of remind me of Samwise Gamgee.” I dropped my book of TheFellowship of the Ring into his grave. “And don’t worry, I’llmake sure Lauchie gets a new one every year, I promise.”

I spent a fewmore moments alone by Gareth’s grave thinking about life—past,present and future. Bryce and Lucy were talking to friends andfamily, and Nate and Charli were both at school. I felt it wasn’tnecessary, nor was it responsible to allow them to go to thefuneral. Charli was too young to understand Gareth’s condition orreason for his death, and Nate was too smart for his own boots andwould piece together the story. So much had happened in mychildren’s lives this past year as a result of my actions anddecisions, and although some of those changes had been good and forthe better, some of them had been incredibly hard for them, too. Ididn’t want to add another painstaking event to the list of thingsthey would have to decipher and work through. They didn’t need toknow their mother was almost killed by their soon-to-bestepfather’s mentally ill cousin. Instead, I had told them that theapartment had caught on fire due to an explosion, and Gareth hadtried to save me. It wasn’t entirely far from the truth. In myeyes, he was a hero after all.

EPILOGUE

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