Radley's Labyrinth for Horny Monsters by Annabelle Hawthorne (highly recommended books .txt) 📕

it. It’s my job to help you settle in, remember? And if that means getting rid of a coven of witches who are camped out on your lawn because they want to steal your house from you, then count me in.”

Mike laughed. “Well, the good news is that we at least know where we are going. So that’ll be a nice change.” He walked up to Asterion and gave him a mock salute. “Lead the way, big guy.”

Asterion grunted in response and then took them out of Ratu’s chamber. Mike paused briefly to wave at the naga on his way out.

“Try not to die,” she told him.

He smiled in response, then turned away from her and jogged to catch up with the others.

“This is not good.” Dana’s eyelids were being held open by Zel, who was examining her face under the brightest light bulb in the garage. The centaur let go, then made some more notes in her notebook. Dana was sitting in a chair that Lily had borrowed from the dining room.

“What’s wrong with her?” Lily asked.

“She’s dying.” Zel’s tail swished, her pencil furiously scribbling.

“I thought I was already dead.” Dana looked at Lily. “Or undead. However you put it.”

“Technically, you’re mostly dead.” Zel rummaged through her saddlebag. “Human cells live, replicate, and die. Over and over again until the whole body dies. You take in food, water, and air, the cells get energy, they keep living, the process continues. You, however, are now dead. Your body won’t digest food, and you don’t need to breathe, so your cells have to replenish themselves in some other manner.”

“Like human flesh?” Dana really hoped it wasn’t human flesh.

“Aha!” Zel pulled a book out of her bag and opened it. “Yes, you do, but why? Zombie legends state that a zombie eats with abandon, and there is usually some kernel of truth in every tale. What is it about living flesh that sustains a zombie?”

“I don’t see the point of these questions,” Lily added. “If zombies eat human flesh, then we need to figure out where to get her some.”

“Daryl told me I might go feral.” Dana held out her hands. Her skin had gone very pale. “I don’t want to go feral, and I really don’t want to start eating brains. I guess this is what he meant when he mentioned starving.”

“Of course!” Zel slammed her book shut. “The brain is the seat of consciousness for a mortal. By consuming a brain, you take in that person’s essence.”

“You mean like eating their soul?” Dana shook her head. “I don’t want to do that.”

“No, not their soul. Think of it like life force. Humans shed this stuff like hair. It’s in their blood and their breath, but it will be most concentrated in the place where soul and body are linked.”

“So the brain.” Dana hung her head. “Shit.” The pain in her gut was intensifying and caving in on itself.

“I bet you are experiencing the beginnings of hunger.” Zel was digging through some of her old journals now. “Zombie hunger will likely be worse than normal. Your whole body is degrading at the same time, meaning you will need a rapid influx of something to sustain you before you eat whatever you can get your hands on. I’m afraid it will take some willpower from you to buy us some time. You need to avoid the urge to…snack.”

Lily looked at Dana, then at Zel. “Is there anything you can do for her? ’Cause I don’t mind grabbing her a jogger or something.”

“No. I’m not eating anybody.” Dana scowled. That would mean crossing a line, and she refused.

“I might be able to mix her up something to buy her more time.” Zel pulled out a notebook. “If my theory holds up, I might have something that will help.”

“You do that. I think I might have an idea too.” Lily knelt so that she was eye level with Dana. She took Dana’s hand in her own, leaning in close. The smell of cinnamon and sulfur washed over Dana, making her stomach growl. “I need you to hold on for a bit. Can you do that?”

“Yeah. Where are you going?”

“Out.” Lily gave her a quick hug. “I’ll tell you more when I get back.”

“Okay, thanks.” Dana watched Lily leave, determination written on her face. Looking back at Zel, Dana watched the centaur pulling various vials out of the tool bench she had commandeered. A veritable apothecary was constructed on the bench, Zel identifying different compounds. After watching the centaur for several minutes, Dana felt another pang in her stomach, this one worse than the rest. Determined to take her mind off her hunger, she stuck her hand in her pocket for her phone. Maybe a few rounds of Sweet Smasher would help keep her mind off how hungry she was.

Her fingers curled against the bottom of her pocket. Baffled, Dana stuck her hand in her other pocket. It was empty too. Standing up, she looked around, wondering if she had set it down somewhere.

“What’s wrong?” Zel asked, concern on her face. She was holding a vial of something that looked like tree sap in one hand and a pine cone in the other.

“My phone is gone,” she replied.

“Progress.” Daryl patted Kali on the knee, tucking away his phone. “For what it’s worth, you did a far better job than Sebastien. He barely got in the door.”

“What are you talking about?”

“My plan worked. She just texted me that she’s on her way out with something I desire.” He opened his car door. “I’ll be back in just a few minutes. Don’t go anywhere.”

“I should come with you,” Kali said.

“Absolutely not. With the succubus here, the high priest’s attention will be elsewhere, meaning I will have some extra time to sort out what she is bringing me.” Daryl stepped out of the car, tossing a dash of powder across the roof. “And if you do get out, your wounds will undo themselves. Won’t