Oh Pure and Radiant Heart by Lydia Millet (shoe dog free ebook .txt) 📕

black on one side of her head. —She got hit with one of them Roman Candle things. Where’s the First Aid tent?

—There is no First Aid tent, said Ann.

—What the fuck? And no bathrooms either? Isn’t that like against the law? We could totally sue!

—This isn’t an amusement park, said Ann, leaning in close to look at the girl’s burnt hair. —We’re not running a business. OK?

—Bitch at all?

—Tamika is a registered nurse, said Adalbert. —Isn’t she?

—I think she did some acid, said Clint, stumbling out of the van with a bleeding cut above his right eye. —She’s majorly tripping.

In the dark interior of the van Ann could hear David praying. —For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders!

She turned to Clint slowly. Signs and wonders. On the end of his eyebrow hovered a small bead of watery blood.

—What are you doing? she asked him, but even to her voice sounded hollow and fluid, as though she had not spoken.

—What happened to your face, Clint? asked Adalbert, more loudly.

—Couple minutes ago, this Chinese guy had a numchuk? No wait. Japanese guy. One of the grandsons of that old A-bomb survivor that gave us the buckwheat pancake mix, were you there for that?

Megadeath snorted contemptuously. —You don’t know the difference between Asians? What a total racist!

—A numchuk? asked Ann. She was still stunned, her voice small. She felt ignored, and yet coasting.

—I mean he wasn’t trying to hit me, he was showing us this kinda martial arts move?—

Ann tried to lean past him to see into the van, where the prayer mumbled on. —Behold, he is in the desert, go not forth! Behold, he is in the secret chambers; believe it not!

But Clint closed the door again before Ann could catch a glimpse. His body odor was overwhelming. She felt queasy and stepped back.

—Can I please at least get some Vicodan? whined the drunk girl with the burnt hair.

—I thought Glen took a vow not to be violent, said Ann urgently as the van began to rock.

—Right, said Clint. —He will never, ever lift a hand in anger.

—But—

—Come with me, kids, said Clint heartily to the teen. —Get you high in no time.

The three of them moved off and a rocket pierced the sky, streaking white lines. Soon the van stopped rocking and Big Glen came out of the door and squeezed past her squirting water into his mouth and onto his forehead from a bottle.

—Did you hurt him? she called as he headed back toward the Airsteam. But he was already far away and when Adalbert tried to open the van door it was locked. On top of the Airstream Oppenheimer was saying something about the power of belief.

—I like the hotels with the small bear on the sign, said Fermi. —I’ll settle for the first one we see, said Ben. —I’m exhausted. I just need some sleep.

They were outside Flagstaff, where a forest fire was burning south of town. From the motel parking lot they could see the glow on the horizon, and a pear-shaped, sad woman in tight black stirrup pants who sat smoking a long cigarette on the back of her truck and staring at the flames.

—On this site, in the 1950s and 1960s, said Szilard into the microphone, —a program of involuntary human experimentation was carried out on the citizens of Nevada, Utah, and Arizona—in fact, even on the citizens of New York and Maine, for that is where the radioactive fallout clouds were carried by the wind. The same people who brought you the war against Hitler and his genocide, these people treated and continue to treat the human race as their personal guinea pigs.

As he handed the microphone to Oppenheimer Ann ducked under a makeshift laundry line that had been converted to a display hanger for posters and emerged on the backside of the trailer, looking up at the scientists’ backs. Szilard was wearing a suit for once, apparently modeled on Oppenheimer’s.

—And we are here now, said Oppenheimer, —to gather all of you up in our quest—

The trailer jerked and both of them staggered, losing their footing. Oppenheimer fell down on his knees. Ann could see people surging around the trailer’s other side, either fighting or slam-dancing, she couldn’t tell. She heard shouts and looked up at Oppenheimer, who was on all fours and scrabbling nervously at the curved silver surface, trying to hold his ground as it rocked back and forth. He met her eyes for a second but then the angle of the spotlight light changed and through the glare she could not see his face.

She was taken back to her dream then, the first dream, in which he had knelt in the sand in the desert, alone. She felt dizzy and leaned forward with a hand against the shivering Airstream to steady herself. There was a shot and a roar, and she looked up at the top of the trailer again and saw Szilard falling down.

—I want a garden of my own, said Fermi as Ben reached to turn out the bedside lamp, plumping his pillow beneath his head and pulling up the coverlet. —When it’s over can you just make sure that they give me one? That’s all I need. It can be very small. Even just a few square feet.

—A garden?

—A garden.

—Szilard was lifted struggling off the ground beside the trailer and carried by Clint and Big Glen and others she didn’t know, on his back like an overturned beetle, legs and arms peddling and flailing slowly. She rushed along beside them, leaning over to see the damage. One of his arms was hurt, there was blood on his white shirt and he was sweating profusely, eyes partly closed. She couldn’t tell whether the arm was all that had been injured.

—Leo? Where did it get you?

—Take him to the bus! Leslie! Go get Tamika.

—What’s she gonna do? She’s on E!

—Call for an ambulance then!

—No! protested Szilard weakly. —No police!

He was like