Perilously Fun Fiction: A Bundle by Pauline Jones (best fiction novels of all time .TXT) 📕

Mickey felt Caroline’s unspoken but emphatic agreement hit him in waves.

“You might have a concussion—” the EMT added.

“I doubt it. He’s got a hard head.”

Mickey looked up and found Delaney standing in the doorway, surveying the scene with a resigned expression.

“I can’t let you go anywhere alone, Ross.”

Mickey grinned weakly. Finally someone to protect him from the women.

“And the kiss?” Caroline snapped. “What was that?”

Luci was quiet for a moment, then brightened. “Mouth-to-mouth?”

Caroline gave a low growl. Delaney leaned close to Mickey. “I wouldn’t count on her for a ride to work anymore, bubba.”

“Do you have any aspirin?” Mickey asked the EMT.

Luci insisted on collecting and paying for her thingamajig—even though the store no longer had a cash register—before she would allow Delaney to convey them to the hospital. The irony of Delaney’s car escaping the recent carnage didn’t escape Mickey’s notice as he slid inside.

“How’d you get here so fast?”

“Hopped a patrol car. Wanted to make sure you hadn’t got my car shot to pieces. Glad to see you kept it out of the line of fire.”

When the hospital finished with them, Delaney took Luci home first. It took less energy to follow Delaney and Luci to the Nash than to argue. They both had orders from the doctor to rest. Mickey leaned against the Nash’s fender and watched Delaney and Luci install the new starter through a haze of exhaustion that went deeper than his soul.

Not that tired stopped him from appreciating the sight of Luci bent over the front fender, one exquisite leg bent as she subdued the Nash’s innards. It was obvious God had made her too cute to kill to protect her from herself. A thing of beauty was a joy forever—from a safe distance, he decided, then moved a step closer when Luci exchanged the fender for a seat behind the wheel.

He didn’t want to lose sight of her legs. Who knew how long they’d be where he could see them? She’d go back to Butt Had after the wedding. And he’d be glad. Really. Okay, not glad, but relieved. Definitely relieved.

Luci clicked the key once, then again, but the engine still didn’t respond. Delaney poked his head around the edge of the hood. “Try it now.”

Luci did. “Nope.”

“There’s a wire hanging down from under the dash,” Mickey said, figuring he ought to do something to move this forward or he’d never get gone. He crouched down and grabbed the wire. “It looks like it should be plugged into something.”

“Really?” Luci slid her legs to one side. “I was sure I plugged everything in before I left. Can you get it?”

“Sure.” Mickey forced his attention away from her legs and groped for, but failed to find, the other side of the connection. With some difficulty, he got his head under the wheel and a partial view of the under-the-dash area. “Ah, there it is.”

He made the connection. “Try it now.”

Luci’s leg brushed against his cheek as she applied gentle pressure to the gas pedal. Above his head she turned the key and the engine caught. Out of the darkness of the under dash, two numbers glowed red. Six. Zero. Then five, nine. It took him five more seconds to realize what he was seeing.

“Shit!” He hit his head on the wheel, trying to get clear. “Get out of the car!”

“What—” Luci looked at him, confusion visible in her wonderful eyes.

Delaney strolled around the side, wiping his hands on a rag. “What’s wrong?”

Mickey managed upright and pulled Luci off the seat. “Bomb!”

Delaney grabbed her other arm.

Luci looked at Mickey, then Delaney. Saw the same thing in their eyes. Urgency. Fear. It was contagious. She started to run, stretching her legs to match their frantic race toward the dubious cover of Delaney’s parked car.

They dove, a tumble of arms and legs and bodies as the Nash went up like a rocket. The explosion, which lifted the front end of the Nash off the ground, vibrated through the gelatinous swamp and shattered the windows of Delaney’s car. Glass pelted them, and fire, reaching out from the blast, scorched across their backs for a searing moment. Then there was only the sound of fire and metal hitting the ground.

“What—” Luci, who’d landed on top, started to look up.

“Wait.” Mickey held her down as a second explosion rocked the street, this time from the Nash’s gas tank.

Luci, her ears ringing, shook her head, then extricated herself from her rescuers and stood up. The heat from the blazing car sent her back a pace.

“I never had a starter do that before.”

With a rough jerk, Mickey turned her to face him, his face as angry as she’d ever seen it.

“So? Tell me, Miss Seymour, just who the hell is pissed at you?”

Artie heard and felt the explosion. He smiled his delight as he bent to unlock the door to his car. He’d stopped to buy Band-Aids for his numerous cuts and scrapes and they now liberally adorned his face. Good thing his new shoes were without flaw, he decided with a sigh of contentment. Things were really starting to look up. He raised his gaze to give thanks and saw something falling out of the sky toward him. What—

There was just time to identify it as a large, old-style steering wheel before it wrapped itself around his neck. His skull still ringing from the impact, he saw stars and blood dripping on his new shoes.

15

“We did it, Fernie! I’m sure of it this time! Break out the beer. Let’s celebrate!” Donald tossed the Uzi on one bed and did a half-leap onto the bed next to it. With hands clasped behind his head, he grinned so wide she saw the gums above his plates.

Fern nodded abstractedly as she bent over the cooler. She was wondering if she would be able to get her picture taken with Mickey Mouse. She’d have to keep Donald away from Winnie the Pooh. They