Haze by Andrea Wolfe (best motivational books for students txt) 📕

realized that I was probably the most pessimistic person in all of NYC. I was assuming the worst—and it wasn't making things any easier. In fact, it was making things much harder.

Breathe, I told myself. It helped. I got on the train and headed home, trying to wipe my mind clean at least for a couple of minutes. I considered going back, but realized that I had no business taunting myself with any additional uncertainty.

It wasn't long before I was at my own doorstep, the comfort like a rush of hot air. I got back before Jesse did, my potential sleepover ending before it even started. Honestly, I was glad not to have to face him as I walked in. He hadn't texted me or anything, so he probably just knew what had happened. It made me feel dumb. I didn't want to be some groupie, desperately begging for scraps from some rock 'n' roll hero.

But something definitely felt different about Jack...

***

After a quick shower—it was both a mental and physical cleaning—I jumped into bed with my laptop and Netflix, cruising the selection for something that would take my mind off the entirely weird night. I put on some stupid horror movie and tried to zone out. I eventually shut off my phone, paranoid that somehow Jack would magically get my number and text me. If he did, I didn't want to know tonight.

About twenty minutes into the movie, I heard Jesse come in. "Effie?" he called from the kitchen. I got a little worried that he was trying to take advantage of my assumed absence and have loud sex with Laura—I was pretty sure I couldn't handle that tonight; sorry, Jesse—but I didn't hear any other voices. And then I realized he probably just noticed the light in my room and wanted to say hi.

I paused the stupid movie, even though I wouldn't have missed anything important had I just left it going. "I'm here," I shouted. I heard his footsteps approach my door.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Sure."

Jesse opened the door and joined me in the small room. His suit jacket was missing and he looked tired. "I didn't know if I was going to see you again tonight."

"Yeah," I said. I looked down at the bed, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. He was fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, so he didn't notice my reaction.

"Rough night, huh?" He sat down on the foot of the bed.

"You could definitely say that."

"Wasn't that the guy you met the other day? Tom said that the guy he introduced you to was Jack Teller and that you could barely speak. Is he the one you walked off with?"

Oh, God. I had forgotten that I mentioned my encounter to him earlier in the week. I was totally busted.

Well, at least it was just Jesse.

"You didn't tell Tom that, did you?" I was fighting off the urge to feel prematurely humiliated.

"No, I kept my mouth shut." He flashed his toothy grin at me, one that showed off the impeccable orthodontic work from his teens.

"Thank God," I said. It was a huge relief. "Yeah, it was Jack from the other day. But he played dumb first! I didn't know if I should follow along or admit that I knew him."

Jesse started laughing. "Really? That's crazy. Some of those guys are weird though, for sure."

"You've met others?" Suddenly I was dangerously interested in the topic.

"Like Jack, many of them are close friends with investors. Everybody is looking for someone to bankroll the next big project." Jesse straightened out his posture before continuing, almost as if it were required for his vocal cords to work. "Artists are just hard to work with. Well, I've only heard that. They're usually unpredictable, but damn, they have money."

I nodded, not having much to add, but wanting him to say more.

"You probably should watch out with that Jack guy, though."

I perked up again. "Do you know something about him? Did he do something crazy? He didn't kill someone, did he?" I think my mind was hoping that Jesse would reveal something heinous and unforgivable that would instantly wipe my feelings right out.

"Jesus," Jesse said. "You're smitten. I can already tell. And no, I don't think he killed anyone. Sorry."

Well, that plan wasn't gonna work. Damage control was all I had left.

"Smitten? You're nuts!" I playfully tossed one of my pillows at him and he caught it reflexively before it could do any real damage.

Seriousness seemed to wash across his face, instantly cleansing him of any leftover silliness. "I just don't want you to get hurt. You're new to the city here—and you've got a job to worry about." His eyes were fixed on a blank space on the wall, the only space that didn't have any pictures from my "previous life." Well, it definitely felt that way sometimes.

"I'll watch out, Jesse," I said. "I do appreciate the concern."

"I'm serious, though. If he gets wrapped up in you, it doesn't matter. He's got all the money he'll ever need. If you get wrapped up, you might put your job and your financial situation at risk, all to pursue some flaky, hot guy."

"You think he's hot?" I asked only semi-seriously.

His phone rang before he could respond. "It's Laura," he said apologetically, a half smile breaking out across his lips. "We'll have to talk about that later. I'll let you get back to your movie for now. Goodnight!" He walked out and closed the door as he left.

I was once again alone with a psychopathic killer and a bunch of large-breasted teenage girls who made even worse decisions than I did. Their terrible decisions helped me feel better about my own missteps.

My mind stayed active for the duration of the film. I thought about what Jesse had said and how it fit into my situation. He was definitely right. It was super nice of him to care, since honestly, he didn't have to at all. If I did anything to put