Oh Pure and Radiant Heart by Lydia Millet (shoe dog free ebook .txt) 📕

—You want me to spy on my friends?

—Of course not! What my clients are looking for is just a firsthand testimonial to these guys’ aptitudes, scientific interests, and future plans where any creative work is concerned. They know Dr. Szilard, in particular, is a great innovator. And believe me, he and the other two could come out of this very, very well if my clients give this investment the green light. I mean your guys could be set for life.

His phone rang in his hand but he ignored it, looking at her earnestly. He was trying hard and his proposal was well-rehearsed but she still knew him for a liar. His tan was too smooth, his words too fluid, and she would never be a candidate for industrial espionage. She was a librarian.

—What would be in it for me? she asked, hoping she sounded as though she meant it. —And what exactly would I be doing for these clients?

—Can we go get that coffee? said the young businessman. —Please, I’m jonesing. My car’s right around the corner.

She wondered fleetingly if he was dangerous and then dismissed it. He was here to get something.

For the first time, filing into the courtroom beside Fermi, Ben felt he was in a solid position, among purposeful agents. At the base of the courthouse steps he had seen a delegation from Nagasaki. They stood solemnly watching and waiting, dressed in gray and black suits. Behind them were the people who had flown in from the Marshall Islands, also wearing suits but with brighter ties. Oppenheimer had pointed them out to him from the bus the night before, looking out his own window into the windows of their chartered bus. They had waved at him, smiling, and their faces had stricken him.

To these people Szilard was not trivial. It was possible there was a truth in his bustle somewhere, and where was truth elsewhere, anyway? Almost everything was a circus. The circus turned and flashed around him and around them all.

He turned and looked at Fermi, who seemed prematurely aged, and then at the survivors from injured places, crowding into the courthouse seats. He was sorry for them and distracted by his own recognition. He was not aloof anymore; he was giving up and giving in. He had been wrong. Who knew what was fact? And more than fact was the faces of the sad people, and no one should treat them callously.

He wanted to find Ann to apologize, but he could not see her. This is the world, he thought. I have to let it rest on me.

The young businessman drove a black BMW. She had to admit to herself that she liked the soft black leather of the seat; she sat with her palms flat against it as the businessman drove.

But there was nothing in his car to help her discern his real purpose in approaching her. It was like new, factory-clean and unmarred by telltale hints of personality.

— … so what we’re talking is probably the figure I gave you up front plus say two percent of whatever contract my clients finally offer your guys. Which believe me is a generous offer.

—And these reports I would have to make, she said, —what kind of information would they need from me? I mean I’m not a scientist. And Leo barely even talks politics to me.

—Your husband can help you there, said the businessman without pausing. Clearly he was already familiar with Szilard’s habits. —He can work together with you. Remember, down the road this will all be in your friends’ best interests.

Annoyed at how stupid he must think she was she stared hard out the window, watching as they passed a seemingly unending row of American flags outside a Ford dealership.

—My clients would ask for a report on every other day, delivered by telephone, he said.

She looked at him sidelong as he drove, pretending interest as she ran her fingers over the stereo controls, and for the first time she noticed a heavy gold ring on his finger, bearing some kind of illegible emblem. Probably from his fraternity, she thought, and then noticed his heavy gold wristwatch. The dark bronze of his skin was so even it had to have been sprayed on.

—Let’s just go to that café, she said abruptly, and pointed. Suddenly she was sickened at her position, sickened by him. —I need air.

He pulled over right away and this might have given her confidence in him, she reflected later—confidence at least that he was not threatening bodily harm, that his pretense of respectability was seamless. But instead it brought an almost hysterical note to her throat as she threw herself out of the car.

While he was in line awaiting his cappuccino she went to the bathroom and then out the back into a parking lot. Abruptly, when she stepped out the door, she took a deep breath and then ran full-out, away, her arms flailing.

A few minutes later, winded, she was scrambling over a fence when she stepped wrong and twisted her ankle, hearing the knuckled pop as it turned. Her head hit a concrete piling as she fell.

The Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty to stop nuclear testing was signed in 1996. To date, sixty-three states across the globe have ratified the Treaty.

The United States is not among them.

—Who found me? she asked him blearily. Her tongue was thick in her head. There were good drugs now, which made her feel as though everything was the way it should be. But she was confused beneath the light feeling.

—It was some kid from the neighborhood. What were you doing back there?

He leaned over holding her hand. Then someone grabbed her gurney and pushed, and he was walking alongside.

She was not interested in questions. —This is what heaven is like.

—What, honey?

—Nothing is bad anymore.

—What do you mean?

—When they let me go, I want more of these. The drugs they gave me. The city of God on earth.

He smiled