Short Fiction by Selma Lagerlöf (android based ebook reader txt) 📕

the hilt, upon which he had once had inscribed: “Blessed are the peacemakers,” “Blessed are the meek,” “Blessed are the merciful.” And every time he, in this hour of anguish, grasped his sword firmly in order to slay Astrid, he felt these words under his hand. He thought he could feel every letter. He remembered the day when he had first heard these words.

“This I will write in letters of gold on the hilt of my sword,” he had said, “so that the words may burn in my hand every time I would swing my sword in fury, or for an unjust cause.”

He felt that the hilt of the sword now burnt in his hand. King Olaf said aloud to himself:

“Formerly thou wert the slave of many lusts; now thou hast but one master, and that is God.”

With these words he put back the sword into its sheath, and began to walk to and fro on the bridge. Astrid remained lying in the same position. King Olaf saw that she crouched in fear of death every time he went past her.

“I will not slay thee,” he said; but his voice sounded hard from hatred.

King Olaf continued for awhile to walk backwards and forwards on the bridge; then he went up to Astrid, and asked her in the same hard voice what her real name was, and that she was able to answer him. He looked at this woman whom he had so highly treasured, and who now lay at his feet like a wounded deer⁠—he looked down upon her as a dead man’s soul looks with pity at the poor body which was once its dwelling.

“Oh, thou my soul,” said King Olaf, “it was there thou dwelt in love, and now thou art as homeless as a beggar.” He drew nearer to Astrid, and spoke as if she were no longer living or could hear what he said. “It was told me that there was a King’s daughter whose heart was so pure and holy that she endued with peace all who came near her. They told me of her gentleness, that he who saw her felt as safe as a helpless child does with its mother, and when the beautiful woman who now lies here came to me, I thought that she was Ingegerd, and she became exceeding dear to me. She was so beautiful and glad, and she made my own heavy thoughts light. And did she sometimes act otherwise than I expected the proud Ingegerd to do, she was too dear to me to doubt her; she stole into my heart with her joyousness and beauty.”

He was silent for a time, and thought how dear Astrid had been to him and how happiness had with her come to his house.

“I could forgive her,” he said aloud. “I could again make her my Queen, I could in love take her in my arms; but I dare not, for my soul would still be homeless. Ah, thou fair woman,” he said, “why dost lying dwell within thee? With thee there is no security, no rest.”

The King went on bemoaning himself, but now Astrid stood up.

“King Olaf, do not speak thus to me,” she said; “I will rather die. Understand, I am in earnest.”

Then she tried to say a few words to excuse herself. She told him that she had gone to Kungahälla not with the intention of deceiving him, but in order to be a Princess for a few weeks, to be waited upon like a Queen, to sail on the sea. But she had intended to confess who she was as soon as she came to Kungahälla. There she expected to find Hjalte and the other great men who knew Ingegerd. She had never thought of deceiving him when she came, but an evil spirit had sent all those away who knew Ingegerd, and then the temptation had come to her.

“When I saw thee, King Olaf,” she said, “I forgot everything to become thine, and I thought I would gladly suffer death at thine hand had I but for one day been thy wife.”

King Olaf answered her:

“I see that what was deadly earnest to me was but a pastime to thee. Never hast thou thought upon what it was to come and say to a man: ‘I am she whom thou most fervently desirest; I am that highborn maiden whom it is the greatest honour to win.’ And then thou art not that woman; thou art but a lying bondwoman.”

“I have loved thee from the first moment I heard thy name,” Astrid said softly.

The King clenched his hand in anger against her.

“Know, Astrid, that I have longed for Ingegerd as no man has ever longed for woman. I would have clung to her as the soul of the dead clings to the angel bearing him upwards. I thought she was so pure that she could have helped me to lead a sinless life.”

And he broke out into wild longings, and said that he longed for the power of the holy ones of God, but that he was too weak and sinful to attain to perfection.

“But the King’s daughter could have helped me,” he said; “she the saintly and gentle one would have helped me. Oh, my God,” he said, “whichever way I turn I see sinners, wherever I go I meet those who would entice me to sin. Why didst Thou not send me the King’s daughter, who had not a single evil thought in her heart? Her gentle eye would have found the right path for my foot. Whenever I strayed from it her gentle hand would have led me back.”

A feeling of utter helplessness and the weariness of despair fell upon Olaf Haraldsson.

“It was this upon which I had set my hopes,” he said⁠—“to have a good woman at my side, not to wander alone amongst wickedness and sin forever. Now I feel that I must succumb; I am unable to fight any longer. Have I